(Closed) When to get married after law school

posted 5 years ago in College
  • poll: Which is the best time for a law student to get married?
    Spring break 3L : (8 votes)
    18 %
    After graduation in May : (2 votes)
    4 %
    After bar in Aug/Sept : (19 votes)
    42 %
    A year after graduation : (16 votes)
    36 %
  • Post # 14
    Member
    52 posts
    Worker bee

    I got married the summer after 2L, right in the middle of my summer associate position.  It was not ideal, but it worked out fine.  We went on a honeymoon after the summer was over.  If I could go back, I would 100% get married in between Fall and Spring Semesters during Winter Break. That is the best break because you do not have any classes to worry about and you have enough time to get married and go on a honeymoon! I cannot imagine getting married while studying for the bar, and I definitely cannot imagine getting married when you already start at a biglaw firm because you will be working WAY too much. 

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    585 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    Only a 1L here, but my SO and I have been thinking these things over when figuring out our timeline. I voted for spring break 3L year, hands down. I wouldn’t want to plan a wedding while studying for the bar, and even if your firm is accommodating, I know I would feel weird/stressed about asking for time off right after I started. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    671 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Well, you probably want all your paperwork to have your married name?

    Post # 17
    Member
    143 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    I’m finishing up my 1L year. Fiance and I have decided to get married in August 2017, after I take the July bar. Hopefully I’ll be starting a new job that September, so I’ll have time for a honeymoon without having to take time off, and I’ll get to start my career with my married name. I do know that bar prep is going to be downright awful, so I’ll have everything planned/ready to go before I start studying (aside from things that absolutely have to wait, like dress fittings and alterations). It’s going to suck, but having a summer wedding was important to us and I knew I couldn’t fit it in between graduating and starting to study for the bar.

    Post # 18
    Member
    248 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: Bar Harbor Inn

    I would do it a year after graduation. You should be able to get a week off from work by then. I took the bar many years ago but I could not imagine planning a wedding while trying to study. I would have never wanted to plan it during school either. I am a government attorney, so the big law firm stuff I have no clue about But I think the planning would just be too much of a distraction when you’re trying to study. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    218 posts
    Helper bee

    while my husband was in law school we decided to do it afer he took the bar exam and boy were we happy we did he had no time and was focused on his exam and really stressed great celebration at the end congratulations

    Post # 20
    Member
    1352 posts
    Bumble bee

    I just finished 1L (a few hours ago, lol). We’re getting married this August. Planning wasn’t that bad, I did everything between January and now. If anything, it was good, because planning provided some happy distraction from the crazy law world, and kept me sane. I vote whenever you think you’ll have 2-3 weeks to primarily focus on your relationship.

    Post # 21
    Member
    811 posts
    Busy bee

    Start finding a date right now. Depending on your venue, there may only be a few dates that can help narrow it down? Maybe see if there are avalibilities during the spring, and use any down time right now to start the planning. A little bit each week or month wouldn’t seem as overwhelming I would assume. But I don’t think that doing any partying before the bar would be fun – I have my own exams and won’t even go out to dinner a few days before. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    444 posts
    Helper bee

    I say get married in May after graduation. You can either do a honeymoon right after that, and then have nothing but bar studying to worry about the rest of the summer. Or, you can postpone the honeymoon until after the bar. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    285 posts
    Helper bee

    arathella:  I also finished 1L today and getting married in July!

     

     

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by  charlie486.
    Post # 24
    Member
    285 posts
    Helper bee

    mdorsogna:  My brother has a friend who got married the day after his law school graduation ceremony in NYC. Both their families were coming to town to celebrate so they decided to have the wedding then. The dean announced his nuptials as he walked to the stage. It was so sweet!

    Post # 25
    Member
    1248 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

    TheGridMonster:  this is exactly what I did, married during spring break & honeymoon after the bar exam. 

    From personal experience, I can say I am SO so happy we chose to get married during 3L spring break. I knew from the beginning I didn’t want to choose a date anywhere remotely after the bar as I would’ve been distracted and it would have been difficult to focus on studying (because let’s face it, for most of us wedding planning is much more fun than bar prep). We booked all our major vendors during the summer before 3L so although 3L was a joke, I had mostly small errands/tasks spread our throughout the year- even my dress fittings ended up falling during winter break which was perfect.

    Side note: my 3L finals ended on a Thursday, that Sunday was graduation and I started bar prep the following day, so there would have been no time in between to get married and/or honeymoon. Also, it was really nice to be able to fully relax after the bar exam knowing there was nothing left to do (plus the exam was just pure torture so I needed to break afterwards lol).

    Post # 26
    Member
    615 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    This topic is exactly what I wanted to see! Ugh 2L here as well, going to work in big law and all I can think about is: when the (bleep) should I get married?! My SO thought we could do it a year after graduation so I happily sent him a link to the article that breaks down exactly how many hours I will have to spend at work/commuting to break even. It will be insane so no!

    Thanks for all of the advice ladies. And to OP, I’m thinking that the day after graduation and then bar trip honeymoon might be best. But it will likely not be heavily attended by law school friends if that’s a concern. Otherwise, my firm job starts Oct. so I’ve been considering a Sept wedding (so I can fit most of the planning stress during 3L year, and have a couple of months after the bar for loose ends).

    Kaymar:  I would feel comfortable asking my school’s Dean of Student Affairs this question too. Her role is like the school mother who’s checking on your mental and social health haha.. Maybe it’s the same for OP.

    Post # 27
    Member
    1310 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    marbelles:  Interesting!  My law school was very different I guess 🙂

    Post # 28
    Member
    615 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    Kaymar:  interesting, but makes sense, I guess everyone’s experience is slightly different. Question about your previous post: you mentioned clerks have a buffer, what did you mean by that? I am in the middle of the clerkship process and will have interviews this summer, so I may be in that situation and curious.

    The topic ‘When to get married after law school’ is closed to new replies.

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