Post # 1
Hello! I’ve decided that I’m going to give my fiancé a tallis, as is traditional, but I can’t find any details on when I should give it to him. Does anyone know? Is it the sort of thing I should give him as soon as I’ve picked it out, on our wedding day or close to it, or does it not matter at all? I’m planning an additional, non-religious wedding gift for the day-of, so I’m considering it entirely separate from that gift.
I’ve not been able to find any info online about this, but perhaps I’m not looking in the right places!
Thanks in advance!
Post # 3
maybe you could present it to him at your ketubah signing (when he’s supposed to veil you). That seems egalitarian and sweet 🙂 If not, maybe at your rehearsal??
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2018 - Ritz Carlton, Marina Del Rey
This is such a sweet idea!
When do you imagine him wearing it? If you’re doing an auf ruf, and you’d like for him to wear it for that, perhaps you could give it to him the shabbat before the wedding? Otherwise, I agree with Coccinelle that the bedecken might be a good opportunity, since he could veil you and you could place the tallis on him. (Assuming you’re not wearing a tallit yourself.)
My husband’s family gave me a tallit when I converted; it’s among the most sentimental items I own!
Post # 5
My Fiance is Sephardic so I am following the tradition and surprising him with it under the Chuppah then he will say S’hecheanu and put it on.
Post # 6
I’m also planning to offer a tallis to my fiance, and I am considering two options: either give it to him the Shabbas before – after we both go to mikvah, or give it to him the day of a civil wedding, which will be about 3-4 days before the religious one.
Post # 7
Fiance (and I to some degree) is adamant about not wearing a kittel, so he is going to wear a tallit instead and I will be buying him one. When we went over the time line with the rabbi, it was decided that Fiance will walk down just in his tux and then he’ll put the tallit when he’s under the chuppah. For purposes of time and other matters, it’ll just be waiting there for him; he’ll have seen it before hand though. No need on our part for a major surprise, since he knows he’s getting one and giving me the necessary length, and it’s just going to be a basic white one.
Post # 8
We did a first look and I gave my husband his tallis then. He wore it for our formal photos and our ketubah signing.
Post # 9
I’m still waffling on when to give him his tallis. This is probably because he won’t be wearing it at the wedding! He was recently officially given his grandfather’s tallis, so he’ll be wearing that for the ceremony (which I totally agree with, it’s perfect!)… so the tallis I give him will just be an additional family tallis that we’ll eventually pass down to one of our children. So, I can’t figure out when to give it to him because there seems to be no particuarly meaningful time.
I’ve thought that I could give it to him perhaps before our aufruf, and ask him to wear it to the aufruf. But, I must admit, part of me wishes I could give it to him on our wedding day so it will be captured on film by our photographer. Silly, I know! So, what do you all think about giving it to him before the aufruf? Or should I just stop worrying about creating a momentous occasion out of this? 🙂