Post # 1
I imagine this is a topic most people talk about / think about.
I’m 26 and my husband is 29…married nearly 2 years. my marriage as been up and down like i imagine most peoples marriages but right now we are in an awesome place. I currently work for myself freelance and my husband works from home for a local council. we are currently renting a house but are looking to buy our first home in 2017
We had a discussion yesterday about babies and ‘when we might have one’.. we have mentioned kids before through the years but this is the first time we have really spoke about it more of a serrious way. I’m not really maternal but over the past few weeks i’ve acttualy started to think yeah i could see myself as a mum and actualy look forward to the thought of having a little mini us.
as a 26 year old girl/young woman at this moment in time i dont feel ready for a baby.. i still feel really young and that I have a lot of ‘selfish’ things to acheive first..as stupid as it sounds I feel we need to be 26 and 29..so go out have fun with no responability.. apart from the dog and the bills!
I think we need to have a few holidays first and have chance to be ‘young’. I know right now – 27th november 2016 wouldnt be the right time as I’m writting this post which already says I have some doubts which is true.
however in my mind i have the age 28/29 in mind to have a baby which is a few years which I think by then I will be a different mind set – but maybe I wont.
Do any of you guys kind of feel like this..maybe in a bit of a middle mind about children.. or did you have children at my age? advice and opinions are really welcome as i love talking about topics like this as everyone is different.
Post # 2
I’ve thought “three more years” since I was 26, now that I’m 30, I still think 3 more years. My Fiance keeps casually mentioning maybe sooner than that, but since it’s my body I keep brushing it off. Plus we still have 7 more months until the wedding!
Post # 3
I keep saying that. I think when i was young I said 25.. then I realised 25 was wayyyyy young.. now im saying later 20’s haha.
i think its a HUGE life change to have a child. more than people realise so you should only do it when your really ready.
Post # 4
I don’t have a feeling of biological clock ticking or noticeable maternal urge, no cooing over babies or jealousy of mothers with children I see around us.
However I have a feeling that “probably” I’ll want kids in the “future” and that we should get on to it to avoid regret that we didn’t.
But then I don’t see myself wanting to be pregnant anytime soon and I just have other things I would prefer to do 🤔 So my brain has the idea but my heart and body is not in it at all.
Post # 5
Think I feel similar to be honest.
I mean we know people personally who have openly said they regret having a baby so young in some regards..and i dont want to be THAT person..because you can’t turn the clock back!
Post # 6
Prob start around 32 (2 years). Want my husband to finish his masters and move out of state first. Want to just keep working and saving money in the meantime. I don’t have baby fever enough to override waiting for a practical time.
Post # 7
I just had my first baby at 25, and my 26th birthday was Nov 3rd 😬. My daughter is 3 months old and I freakin’ love being a mom. I thought for a long time I’d be closer to 30 and want to be a working mom so when we decided to try last year and since going back to work I want to eventually be a Stay-At-Home Mom and have at least 1 more if not 2.
Everything with our baby feels a million times greater. With that being said we bought our first home before TTC and had lived together for 3+ years. I’m glad we waited a bit (originally we were going to TTC right after our wedding, soooo glad we didn’t do that). It’s honestly scary to think about because until you’re actually pregnant it’s like am I really ready? It sounds like you have some goals you want to hit before baby so I suggest keeping up with those and baby after that!
Post # 8
I am currently 29 and we just started TTC. When I was 26, babies were not really on my mind. In fact, when I got married at 25, I told DH, “Let’s wait 5-7 years to have children.”
It wasn’t until about 3 months ago that I actually wanted to start having children. Then, I woke up one day and said, “I am going to get my IUD out in October”…so I did. Now, we are in the TWW of our first offically cycle of TTC. I wil test on Thursday.
Our progression was more of “bucket list” method to be prepared. We wanted to build a home, so we did that 3 years ago. We wanted to pay off all non-mortgage debt (i.e., student loans, cars, etc) and we finished that in August. We wanted to have 6 months of emergency funds saved up, accomplished that in July. We wanted to have $5,000 as a baby start up fund, got that in September.
We also wanted to travel to Europe (check), the East Coast (check) and go back to Europe one more time (check-going in February). We both finished our master’s degrees and got the promotions we wanted.
So our plans did not center around an age so much as what we wanted out of life. Not sure if this helps, but that was our approach.
Post # 9
I kept saying “a couple more years” and would maybe have kept saying that forever, until I was infertile. I’m 31 and just gave birth to my firstborn 2.5 weeks ago. I still feel like a teenager, but I know I’ll do my very best to be a good mom to my boy!
I don’t think you ever feel ready. At least I didn’t!
Post # 10
Yeah.. i’m deffiantly the 20 -something which is still living a bit of a student lifestyle in many regards. im more focused on spending money on clothes and makeup at the moment.. but i think that will all change and i can even notice of a shift of way of thinking in my mind over the past 2 years i’ve started to think to the future more instead of just the here and now and i can acttualy see myself being a mum which i never thought would of been for me even a year ago.
I do think though no one is ready really, untill it all happens
Post # 11
I think i just say 28/29 because i think a lot of our goals will be achieved by then – it might not be though.
we sitll have a honeymoon stuff to pay off from our vegas trip, we need to buy a house, we need to just spend time being us and having that ‘selfish’ time which people keep telling me to enjoy it whilst I have it.
traveing is in my mind as well, i want to go places and experiance other things before I have to look after another human
Post # 12
I think i could possibly do that haha.
its hard as everyone is different but I am honestly the 26 year old who goes on nights out, gets midnight mcdonalds, sleeps in til late. still living a very ‘young person’ lifestyle in that sense but then we are also renting, paying bills, budgeting with money, working hard..so in that sense we are living an adult life.. i guess like a selfish 20 something would do just with some kind of responsbility haha which i think is fine considering i dont have kids haha
Post # 13
We’re both 26 and are keeeeeeeeeeeen to head to baby city.
We get married in 4 months and plan to start TTC at the end of next year.
We’re old souls and introverts who don’t have any habits that aren’t child friendly. We have sober habits and are homebodies for the most part. We live a really quiet life TBH and I think we’d have no trouble adjusting to children and parenting 🙂
But we’ve also been together for almost 9 years and have our own home and things are just right for us I guess – both sets of parents also live closeby so we have a lot of support.
Hard to say when the right time for someone is. Everyone is just so different and some people at 25 are more mature than others at 35.
Post # 14
I had my baby at 26, I’m 27 now and think it’s amazing. I had horrible baby fever for the year before though, and we stuggled with infertility. I didn’t know you could love so strongly. I love my SO and my friends and family of course, but the love I have for my child is just crazy. Also, everything seems better with her, like this is her first christmas and it hadn’t felt so magical since I was a kid. Going to the zoo and seeing her cute face light up the first time she sees a lion? Going swimming, watching my favorite disney movies with her, having her taste new food, watching snow fall… it makes everyday moments magical!
That’s my experience, I hope when the time comes you’ll feel the same 🙂
Post # 15
Ya I understand how you feel. The closest I’ve ever came to maternal was after the latest disaster in Haiti, I thought, wow that country is constantly getting shit on, I wonder how many babies and children need homes there. I’d like to do something like that someday. As far as my own, I keep saying at least five years (I’m 25). Maybe it will be three or maybe it will be seven. Or maybe never. I get grossed out thinking of being pregnant too so that quashes most baby making thoughts. Also I hate needles and spines (yes weird things I know), so epidurals are a major no for me. We shall see, but I think it’s hard to have concrete plans.