(Closed) When to have a bridal shower – day before?

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
8604 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I wouldn’t have it the day before personally. I’d feel pretty weird basically asking people to give me two gifts in a weekend. Plus a bridal shower can be stressful for those planning it, and I’d want to be relaxing the day before.

Post # 4
2610 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

@Westwood:  +1

I’ve never heard of having a shower right before the wedding, like a day before. I think it’s too much.

My Future Sister-In-Law is planning a shower for me for March 2nd. So more than two months before the wedding day, I think at least in my experiance that’s more typical.

Also, kind of sounds like you’d be planning your own shower? Typically someone else (MOH, SIL etc) throws you a shower and hosts it. If that’s the case, is that person okay doing this the day before the wedding?

Post # 5
11697 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@kasiak:  I know friends who had it the weekend before because it was a semi Destination Wedding (most guests travelling from out of province) and we were invited as we made travel plans so we didn’t feel obligated.

You also shouldn’t plan your own shower…

Post # 6
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@kasiak:  OMG that sounds EXHAUSTING!  Won’t you have other things to worry about the day before your wedding?

Post # 7
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Oh please don’t do that.  That will be way too much on you and the guests.

I had an October shower and the wedding is in February and I actually thought that was a great gap of time between the two events.  I wouldn’t make it any closer than 3 weeks.

Post # 8
9181 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I wouldn’t  :/  This seems very gift-grabby to me, especially when a large number of your guests already need to travel to you.  

I was in a similar situation, where almost all of both of our families live far away (a plane flight) from us.  I just skipped the shower all together.

Post # 9
8429 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle

@kasiak:  Having shower –> rehersal dinner –> wedding is WAY too much to put on yourself and guests in less than 48 hours. 

Showers are typically done a few months before the wedding in my circle. 

I would feel weird getting gifts at my shower the day before I would expect people to give me gifts at my wedding. If I were a guest, I would spend less on both gifts in this arrangement than I would if the shower was spaced out with a reasonable amount of time before the wedding.

Post # 10
5660 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t see anything wrong with having a shower during the wedding weekend, when everyone is coming from out of town anyway. If they are going to be there, they are coming for you, and the reality is, most people WANT to shower the bride. I had a friend get married in Colorado over the summer but everyone they knew were coming from all over the states. We crammed in the Bachelorette party thurs night, brunch shower on Friday then rehearsal that night, and wedding Sat. Was it a busy weekend? For the bridal party absolutely, but it was fun. And we WANTED to give her a shower and bachelorette, even if it had to be that weekend. We all felt she deserved it. All of her friends, aunts, cousins, mom’s etc were happy to come to the shower. I don’t think anyone thought it was too much or gift grabby at all.

Post # 11
8823 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

mine was 2 months before.  but if your family really can only come into town the weekend of the wedding, that might be what it is.

can you have a friends shower in advance and then just have a small family one right before the wedding?

who is hosting?

Post # 13
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@kasiak:  We’re having my bridal showers 3 months and 2 months before the wedding. I think it would be too stressfull and just too much to do the day before the wedding…You would be better off moving it up a couple of weeks IMO.

Post # 14
9675 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I wouldn’t.  It does seem harder on the guests (they have to spend all weekend with you AND get you 2 gifts in one weekend) and I imagine more stressful on you and on whoever is throwing the shower.

I had my shower 2 months before my wedding and I wouldn’t have changed it.  I had some out of town family guests and I didn’t want them to have to travel twice so close together so I made sure it was a little farther out from my wedding.

Shower, rehearsal dinner, wedding is too much in one weekend.  I found the bridal shower to take a lot of energy, even more for my BMs who threw it!  They probably wouldn’t have liked to go straight from that to a rehearsal and rehearsal dinner and then the wedding day itself.

We had a little bit of setting up to do for the wedding (not much) and that day was still EXHAUSTING!

Post # 15
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@kasiak:  I think they’re too close together if you do it in one weekend.  Have you considered having more than one?  I have family out of state, my mom’s already planning one there and one here.  We might even break it up further and do a friend one here and a family one here. 


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