(Closed) When to pick bridesmaids…and how to let them know?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
435 posts
Helper bee

I would wait as long as possible.  You never know what might happen in those relationships in a year:)

Post # 4
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My wedding is after yours and I’ve already asked. However my bridesmaids are my sister (MOH), my Future Sister-In-Law, and my best friend. Pretty sure nothing is going to happen there in the next year πŸ™‚

I didn’t do anything special, in fact I never officially asked my sister, it is just assumed since we are incredibly close and I was her Maid/Matron of Honor. I am thinking of getting her a card and a little gift though, and officially asking. I love those “Will you be my bridesmaid?” cards you can find on etsy!!!

Post # 5
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I asked my friend as soon as I got engaged, after having talked it over with FH (I didn’t want to chose someone who would be so involved in our wedding without him having some input). I asked her when we were a year out because she’d need to arrange for visas to come and visit and stuff and I knew that’d take some time.

Post # 7
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Since I really had no idea how to ask either I went and bought greeting cards that I thought fit each of their personalities and wrote something heartfelt in each of them ending with something like ‘I’d love for you to stand up with us on the biggest day of our lives – will you be my bridesmaid/Maid of Honor?’

I wanted to do something in person with each of them but since my Maid/Matron of Honor lives out of state and both bridesmaids and my Maid/Matron of Honor are all students who work it just wasn’t possible to get everyone together at once. Needless to say, they all LOVED my card idea and all came back with a teary ‘yes!’

Just a thought πŸ™‚


Post # 8
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Since you’re wedding is so far off I would wait until you’re at the 8ish month mark r- gives you plenty of time to get their dresses and you never know what could happen in that time span.  I didn’t really ask in any special way, I just waited until I was with them and then asked each individually.  Good luck!

Post # 9
198 posts
Blushing bee

My bride (ha!) asked me about a month ago, and she’s getting married in Feb 2011.  I think if you are sure these friendships will still be going strong in a year (and if you are close enough to be asking these ladies to stand beside you on your big day, then hopefully you know this), then there is no reason you can’t go ahead and ask now.

I got one of these (http://www.etsy.com/listing/45151787) sweet cards in the mail and it brought tears to my eyes (and had me shrieking “ohmygosh”) even though I knew it was coming. 


Post # 10
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I asked my girls a month after I got engaged (so I could have a date and location set). I called my girls up, but the thing around the hive is these cute cards that I wish I would have known about b/c I so would have done it that way!

Post # 11
2404 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

i’m getting married after you and i’ve already asked mine πŸ™‚ I made cards for each girl and put “will you be my bridesmaid?” on them. i’ll try to take pics and post! i didn’t really do anything different for my Maid/Matron of Honor, same kind of card as the other 3.

if any chance things could go sour then maybe hold off. i’ve read some unfortunate posts regarding “un-asking” BMs.

But if all friendships are 100% good to go and there is no question, then why wait?! get them in on all the wedding party excitement with you Cool Cards, a small gift, a lovely phone call, flowers? there are so many ways! perhaps something specific to your girls’ interests?


Post # 13
39 posts
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am actually asking my bridesmaid next week or the week after, I got engaged about a month ago and have been working on getting a venue/cemented date set and as soon as i do im going to be asking (and my wedding is more than a year away) I really think its personal opinion, most of mine know already, I get excited and let slip that im asking although i havent “formally” asked. for my Maid/Matron of Honor I made a card with “top ten reasons to be my maid of honor”  and im putting it with the dvd “my best friends wedding” and this picture frame that i made for all the girls.

[attachment=933413,115223] [attachment=933413,115224]

Post # 15
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I asked mine already and my wedding is two years away….and I kinda regret it. Well my Maid/Matron of Honor is my best friend and amazing so far with helping so no problems there and two of my Bridesmaid or Best Man are my sisters. It’s the other two that I’m worried about. The three of us have been friends for years but they are kinda doing this weird thing where they are best friends now and I’m the third wheel so it’s definitely making me a bit worried about what things will be like in 2 years.

So my advice is to definitely wait unless you are 100% sure on everyone. I think I was so excited that I didn’t really think things through, plus we didn’t realize our wedding would be pushed backa  year either.

I love the idea of cute cards etc. Unfortunately I was too excited that I just blurted it out haha, although for the last two I took them to dinner so it was a bit nicer lol.

Post # 16
3871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I admit that I picked my bridesmaids too soon.  I got engaged and within a month, I chose them.  I should have waited because I did somewhat regret choosing some of them. (especially my Maid/Matron of Honor… like summerlove I chose a “good/best” friend instead of one of my two sisters… Dumb move but none of my sisters were offended, it was just me thinking I made the wrong decision) I would suggest like a year before your wedding because, a lot can change in friendships within 2 years.  I got engaged and we were married about 2 years later.

Oh, for asking my bm.  I asked them in a cute poem.

Check out my bio and there are pictures of how I asked my Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I thought they were such a good idea and my bm loved them.

ETA: Well I just insert the pictures because it’s easier.

Also, the blue color were my wedding colors.  That I knew.  It was like giving them a taste of what they will be wearing. I don’t know if the bm realized that at that point. 

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