(Closed) When to send invites if there is a B List?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

This is a tough one. I’ve always wondered how people go about doing this. Are you going to have a different set of response cards for the B-listers? Because they will know they are B-listers if they get their invitations in the mail after the RSVP date.

But I think you could send your first round of invitations out 11-12 weeks before the wedding. With an RSVP date of 6 weeks before the wedding. Then send the second round out 6 weeks from the wedding (or as you get the negative responses) with an RSVP date of 3 weeks before the wedding.

I’m actually having everyone RSVP 6 weeks before the wedding due to hotel blocking, so I don’t think 6 weeks is too far in advance to ask for the RSVPs.

Post # 5
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think 12 weeks would be fine…. nice touch by doing different RSVP dates, btw.

Post # 6
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Im sending out my invites this weekend (90days ahead), rsvp date is Marc 1st, then after we receive our rsvps we will send out batch B which will be on the 60 day mark

Post # 7
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Here’s what Real Simple says::

Successful B-listing depends on secrecy and timing. Here’s the drill.

-Organize your A-list alphabetically (easy to locate names when they RSVP) and your B-list by rank order. 

-Put A-list into the mail about eight weeks before your wedding.

-After two weeks, total up the number of noes you’ve received and add 20 percent. That number is how many B-list invites you can send.

-Mail B-list invites within six weeks of the wedding date. Since you are sending the second round in a group, within a six to eight week range, there’s less chance of offending B-listers. They might not catch on, since other guests received their invites at the same time.

—-Thats what they had to say 🙂 I thought it was helpful.

I would also wait to send out your invites to A-listers who are good friends or family with any B-listers…to avoid the gossip and the result of you getting caught B-listing 🙂 

Post # 8
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I love the idea of changing the RSVP date, we too are August 21st-ers and also have a B List because our venue is so small! I really like the advice that @ashleyjean mentioned from Real Simple as well.

Post # 9
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think the RSVP thing is def good. Helps to have a bit more time in there…

Post # 10
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Our wedding is May 21, and we are sending out our first round of invites March 1 with an April 1 RSVP, then making more response cards as needed for the B list with a later RSVP date.  Luckily our friend designed our invites and is printing them for us, so it shouldn’t be too difficult! 

Post # 11
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We’re sending our first batch out in February with a late March RSVP date and the second batch will go out in March with a late April RSVP for our May wedding.  Our first group are all people that would talk to each other, as are our second so that everyone who knows each other will get their invites at the same time.  There is no interation between the two groups as they are his side and my side.  I feel a little bad sending some of them so early, but since every single person in our first batch will have to travel (by plane) I figure they will already know if they can come or not. We also have a third batch of people that live close to the venue that we can give less notice to, so if we have room, we will invite them too.  It’s a little complicated, but if you keep it organized from the start, it’s not too bad. 

I printed all of our invitations myself, so it was easy to have different dates. 

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