(Closed) When to Send Invites with No Save the Dates

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1308 posts
Bumble bee

My wedding is Oct 25 this year and I have already sent out my invitations.  I also sent out save the dates about 9 months in advance.  Reason being is over half of our guest list has to book flights and hotel.  It may be premature, but I’ve already received a LOT of responses.  Also, I had experienced several save the dates getting bounced back to me weeks later for my out of state guests, so I built in some wiggle room in case that happens.  Also, I’m not sure whether we will get all 140 or just 80, so I may have to rent extra seating and the wiggle room will give me that time.

First week of september would actually seemingly give you less than 30 days to get back with your vendors.  Not sure what your agreements are, but my headcount with my venue is actually due 40 days before while my catering is only 14 days, which is why I’m asking for things early.

Especially with no STD, I would mail them out ASAP.

Post # 3
Member
3036 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

If you want RSVPs back by the 1st of September… guests should have the invitations by the 1st of August. I think it would be fine to send them out Mid to Late July…. or as soon as you have the invites ready!!! 

If you need some time to get them ready, then I’d start with people who are the farthest away and get their invites out first. Then get the invites for your immediate familes/bridal party out last because presumably they know they’ll be there and they already know all the details.

Post # 4
Member
3279 posts
Sugar bee

The etiquette of the situation is quite clear.  Keep in mind that STD’s are a very new invention, and that for years people have sent out invitations without Save-The-Date Cards. 

Invitations should be sent out 6-8 weeks in advance of the date.  1 month ahead is quite a bit of time to have the RSVP date.  You should only need a week max to follow up with any negligent guests.  But, if you need that time for the caterer, then I would send the invites for 6-8 weeks in advance of that. 

That being said, you should absolutely be communicating with your guests about the details before that time.  These are presumably your nearest and dearest friends and family, so they should already know many of the details, and the formal invitation should be a formality.

Post # 5
Member
1308 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with most PP, however if plane tickets need to be booked, I think 3 months in advance is ideal.  When I am planning a trip on my own dime (as in, my company isn’t paying for my last minute trip in a week), I like to buy in advance.

Save-The-Date Cards are new and IMO not “necessary” for local weddings, but for out of state it’s ideal.

Post # 6
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee

We are not doing STD’s either- but most of our guests are in town anyways.

We are sending out our invites the last week of September, RSVP’s due November 1st, wedding is first weekend of December.

 

 

Post # 7
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

We didn’t do Save the Dates (ended up moving the wedding up 7 months). Our wedding was mid-April, we sent out invites end of February and that worked out fine for us. We didn’t have many people traveling. 

Post # 8
Member
4891 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

ksabo05:  Our wedding last year was October 17, and we had all them out by August 9. We did not send Save-The-Date Cards but did contact any out of town fmaily/friends to let them know.

Our RSVP date was September 19, which gave us almost a month to track down any that hadn’t come in by then, which we needed!

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by  Kacie209.
Post # 9
Member
618 posts
Busy bee

We also didn’t do Save the Dates, so we are sending out our invitations ahead of the recommended timeline.  Our wedding is September 19th, RSVP deadline of September 1st, and I sent out most of the invites today!  So invites are going out about 10.5 weeks ahead of the wedding.

Post # 10
Member
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Our wedding is November 14th. We are sending our invites out at the end of this month. We need to have our complete guest count to our venue two weeks in advance and are setting our RSVP date for October 16th, which is two weeks before that. My fiance has heard horror stories from his clients about tracking down RSVPs even past the caterer’s due date. For the wedding he did this past weekend, the couple told him on their final conference call that they were still tracking down RSVPs two days before the wedding – how does that happen!?

Post # 11
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

The earlier, the better.   Screw etiquette.   Giving your guests more time to buy airfare is the right way to go.  Also,  a lot of employers now a days require months of advance notice for vacation time. 

Post # 12
Member
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Nope I think you can send them now. My wedding is the day after and we are sending them out next week!

Post # 13
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

Save-The-Date Cards are a nice option, depending upon the circumstances, but they’re a new invention. I don’t think they’re required in any way. They’d be a good idea if there were going to be a lot of  international guests with complicated travel arrangements, or anyone who might need a lot of advance notice to get vacation leave. In those cases, they might like the extra advance notice they’d get with Save-The-Date Cards. Purely optional, though.

In your situation, sending out the invitations a little bit early ought to be acceptable. August 1 sounds fine to me.

Post # 14
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Swaneset Bay Resort & Country Club

ksabo05:  I’m also getting married on October 2nd! I sent my invites last week. My RSVP date is for September 1st. I sent out save the dates in December.

I know etiquette says 6-8 weeks but it’s a Friday and I wanted to give guests as much notice as possible since I was sure people had already gotten rid of the save the dates or had forgotten or such. 

Post # 15
Member
509 posts
Busy bee

Our date is October 24, I’ve already sent out overseas invites about 2 weeks ago.  I’ll send all the “local” invites in the middle of August. 

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