(Closed) When to send out invites? How long to RSVP? B-List? I'm clueless!

posted 5 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
4039 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

First, find out when your caterer/venue needs the final guest count. Go back 1-2 weeks from that date and set that as the RSVP due date. I’d send invites out 4-6 weeks before the RSVP due date.

B list invites tend to be a bad thing. People always know they were invited as “second string” and it gets weird

Post # 4
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

We sent our invites out 10 weeks early but I’ve read that sending them 6-8 weeks before the wedding is more standard.

For RSVPs, our caterer said they need a final guest count 2 weeks before and we gave ourselves almost 2 additional weeks to track down stragglers.  So, our RSVP date is just shy of 1 month before the wedding.

We also planned to do a B list but it hasn’t worked out.  Almost all of our RSVPs are  yes, and the people we thought might not make it haven’t RSVP’d yet.  Our wedding is just 6 weeks away so we’ve run out of time for a B list. 

Post # 5
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@BriansBride:  If you do a “B List” do not tell anyone about it. I had friends who did a B list and made it known to the people on the B list that they were B listers. They lost several friends over their mishandling of the whole thing.

Invitations should go out 2 – 4 months before the wedding, sooner if you are not using save the dates. Give yourself at least 3 weeks to deal with RSVPs. Meaning, if you’re wedding is February 28, RSVPs should be due no later than February 7. That will give you plenty of time to follow up with people who didn’t respond – which I definitely recommend doing! We had a few RSVPs get lost in the mail and had we not followed up with people we wouldn’t have had enough seats for everyone.

Post # 6
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Glasgowbound:  This is a great rule of thumb to go by.

We had a July 6 wedding, sent out our invites in April and had an RSVP date of end of June, so we gave our guests a little more time.

I would never had considered a “B” list because it tends to end up not being a good thing. Plus you’d be surprised at how many people RSVP yes with a +1 in the first place. Invite those who you want to be there. Those that you can’t invite becuase of space or financial reasons I would keep that way. Although I personally would understand and probably go, I could see how some could take it rudely.

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