Post # 1
So we’re about two years away from our wedding, and had no intention of sending out stds until sometime next year. However, I’m considering sending them out early and want some opinions. I have two main reasons I’m thinking of sending them out early:
1. It’s going to be a very popular date. We chose 6/6/2020, because it’s super fun to say, hard to forget, and at a good time of the year, weather-wise. Just like 8/8/2020, and 10/10/2020 (all Saturdays), it’s going to be an extremely popular wedding date, so giving an earlier heads up to our guests may be nice in case they’re invited to multiple weddings for that date.
2. My SO’s cousin, who has been engaged about a week now, just announced they plan to have their wedding 6/5/2020. Obviously they don’t have deposits down and can change this date (we can’t change ours), or they can leave the date and we have back-to-back weddings (which I honestly don’t mind – our ceremony won’t start until 3pm anyway, giving the guests time to recover), but I realized there’s a lot of other couples we know that will likely be starting to also plan weddings soon, and communication of our date will help avoid future situations such as this. A friend from work who got engaged a month ago, had told me she was also looking at 6/6/2020 as a wedding date, before I told her we were likely to go with it.
So what should I do? Instead of sending out stds, should I just make a Facebook post about the wedding date to get the information out? Should I still send out save-the-dates a bit earlier along with the facebook post?
Also, when did you send out stds? even without these factors, what are the normal guidelines for sending them?
This topic was modified 7 months, 2 weeks ago by jayquellen. Reason: Spelling
Post # 2
I was married Memorial Day Weekend (both a popular wedding weekend as well as a weekend people are busy). I sent my Save-The-Date Cards out 9 months in advanced. However, our close friends and family already knew of our date months prior to that just through casual conversation.
Post # 3
Why does it matter if your co-worker also gets married on that day? You telling people isn’t going to stop people from picking that day, and they will also probably pick the wedding they want to go to most – not the one they got an STD to first.
I would just send them out 1 year prior. So much can happen in 2 years, so just worry about your own planning and leave everyone else out of it. If people ask if you’ve picked a day I think its fine to say but making a facebook post or sending out this year just seems OTT.
Post # 4
Close family and friends knew the date ahead of time. We sent out save the dates 8 months in advance and we had a destination wedding.
Post # 5
Honestly, I don’t see any reason to send them.out any earlier than usual (9 -12 months in advance maximum). I really don’t see that date being any more popular than any other summer Saturday. Maybe I’m just not tuned in to what is wild and wacky that people seem to get a hoot out of, but I’m not even sure that date really registers as anything all that special that it warrants sending out save the dates nearly two years in advance. I could maybe see people getting a kick out of 10/10/20 , but also not two years in advance.
Post # 6
I think 2 years is way too early to send out save the dates. You can let the people you are close to know verbally that you have booked a date, anything else is overkill in my opinion.
Post # 7
I would think all your VIPS would know the date ahead of getting a Save the Date anyway, no?
Honestly, if I got a STD 2 years in advance…I’d probably forget all about the wedding by the time you even got around to the invitation stage. 2 years is too early to plan anything from a guest’s perspective (can’t book a hotel room, can’t request time off work, can’t book a flight). All a guest could do was literally write it in their calendar and that doesn’t necessarily mean it would still take priority over anything else on that day. Like say I get the STD for a casual friend’s wedding 2 years in advance, but then 1 year or so later I get another STD for the same date for a good friend or a family member. I’m obviously going to the second one, even though that STD came later.
ETA: Also don’t make a Facebook post unless you’re planning on inviting every single one of your FB friends to your wedding.
Post # 8
In terms of sending save the dates because it’s a popular wedding date- I would still go to the wedding of the person I am closest with not the first one that got to my mailbox.
I think the normal 8-12 months is fine and just letting the must haves at the wedding know the date.
Post # 9
Thanks for the responses! I had no intention of sending anything out for at least a few months, and didn’t really want to that early, but had no idea what the normal protocol is.
We definitely do need to tell more friends and family, verbally, as even his mom called and asked us what the date was since she knew it was in June, but didn’t know how close it was to the cousin’s chosen date. We’ll be seeing a lot of friends this weekend and can tell them then.
Post # 10
jayquellen : send them out under a year ahead of time. people WILL confuse the year of your wedding if you send them out earlier. i promise you.
as for your concerns about other weddings being booked…people don’t typically make wedding choices about whose STD/invite came first. they will go to the wedding of whoever they are closer to. if they learn about your wedding 2 years in advance, that’s not going to stop them from going to their cousin’s/best friend’s/sister’s wedding because they got that STD one year later.
Post # 11
catskillsinjune : “send them out under a year ahead of time. people WILL confuse the year of your wedding if you send them out earlier. i promise you.”
That’s a good point. If I got a STD now for June, I’d just assume it was for June 2019. I might not even notice the year!
Post # 12
I would definitely start telling family and close friends the date, especially with his cousin thinking of doing her wedding so close in date. I would let her know for sure! She may not want your weddings to be so close together. Send Save-The-Date Cards a year out.