(Closed) When to send thank you notes?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: When is the best time to send thank you notes?
    Send it right after you receive the gift. : (36 votes)
    75 %
    Send it after the wedding. : (12 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    71 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2008

    i’m not sure what the actual etiquette is per se, but i sent my thank you cards as i received gifts. if you wait until after the wedding you will have a giant stack to write, for me that is one daunting task. it can be really easy to put off writing thank yous.

    Post # 4
    Member
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    I love sending thank you notes and I hate knowing I have gifts that I haven’t sent notes for. So, I’d do them as they come.

    Post # 5
    Member
    538 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I think you should send it right away, it lets the person know you have received it and it will help lessesn the amount you have to do post wedding, so you can relax!

    Post # 6
    Member
    160 posts
    Blushing bee

    As soon as you get engaged, it seems as thought people are always sending you gifts. I would NEVER wait long after receiving a gift to send the "thank you card". Especially if people are sending multiple gifts (one for shower, one for bachelorette, one for wedding), you should be sending the thanks you’s after receiving each gift.

    Technically, they say you have up to a year after your wedding to send a thank you, but I would be insulted as a guest if anyone waited that long! (this has actually happened to me TWICE this past year…) So do them ASAP!!!

    Post # 7
    Member
    2004 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2008

    I was so glad I did mine as they came in. It made the big haul we got at the wedding much easier to handle! We also got a few inquiries about did we receive such-and-such when I took more than a month to do them. That kept me on my toes. I also kept a list of who sent what and whether I had written them a thank-you on my master guest list spreadsheet. I really recommend doing this to keep yourself organized.

    p.s. I think the year-long window is a myth! More like 3 months is more accurate. But it is never too late….most people would prefer to receive a thank-you, no matter how belated, than to receive no thank you at all. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    91 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    Send them as soon as you get a gift!  Everyone’s advice about waiting until after the wedding is a good one.  I wish I had followed it!

    Post # 9
    Member
    2434 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2008

    I waited until after the wedding because we got photo thank you cards and wanted gift givers to get the photo as a memento.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1718 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

    We did ours all at once and it was overwhelming. I agree it’s easier on you if you send them as you get the gifts!  Plus you’re really excited to open the gift and the emotion will make it easier for you to write thank yous right that moment rather than write them all on  one horrible weekend where you do nothing but write thank yous… Owwww writing cramp!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1022 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I would definitely send the thank you’s as the gifts come in.  Otherwise, it can become a very daunting task after the wedding!

    Also, I’d like to point out to Miss Chocolate Chip–and others who may not have been aware–that that is a common misconception.  They say you have 6 weeks after the wedding to get the thank you cards out.   Guests and family, however, have up to a year after the wedding to give gifts.  

    Post # 12
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee

    Writing the thank-you notes as the gifts come in makes it a lot easier on you. Also, the major reasons for thank-you notes are that the giver knows for sure that you received the gift (i.e. it’s not sitting in a UPS warehouse somewhere) and that you liked it (even if you have to lie about this one).

    Post # 13
    Member
    752 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I always feel far less intimidated by writing one note than writing thirty, so I’d say write them as the gifts come in. For things like showers, I recommend dividing the number of notes you need to write by 7, then writing that many notes every night for a week. You have a definable goal to work towards each night, and it doesn’t take too much time to do it. Then, after a week, it’s out of the way! 🙂

    Post # 14
    Member
    60 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    It doesn’t matter as long as they are sent!  I am not married yet but practically all of my friends have gotten married in the last 2 years and of the SEVEN weddings I have attended in the last 18 months, I have received only ONE thank-you note.  ONE.  But if you add it all up, it’s a little ridiculous: 7 weddings, 14 bridal showers, I was a bridesmaid for one of them, various bride-outtings, bachelorette parties…etc.  And just one thank-you.  It hurts a little bit.

    Post # 15
    Member
    631 posts
    Busy bee

    I’ve always heard that you have 3 months afer the wedding to send out thank yous?

    Post # 16
    Member
    754 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2008

    Peakay, that is really sad.  I too, have attended many gift giving events and never received even a phone call of thanks.  I think that brides (and grooms) put it off and put it off and then think it is too late to send them.  It is never too late to tell someone thank you.

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