(Closed) When to start bugging people to RSVP? Deadline coming up in one week…

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What should I do?
    Contact the people you think are probably "No's" so you can know for sure and plan accordingly : (4 votes)
    7 %
    Wait to contact everyone who hasn't responded after the deadline passes : (53 votes)
    93 %
  • Post # 3
    Hostess
    18637 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I would wait until after the deadline has passed.  Some people might have just put them in the mail recently.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1246 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    i am going through the SAME THING! i have already been bugging people though…. 🙁

    Post # 5
    Member
    474 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I would send an e-mail or text them a friendly reminder.

    Post # 6
    Member
    831 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    You can do a friendly reminder email notifying them the deadline is xxx date and that you would love for them to participate in this wonderful/joyous ocassion. Then wait a week after the deadline to give them that dreaded death threat phone call to see what’s up.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2775 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    Our deadline is in 3 days (May 1st) and there are still a lot of people who have yet to respond.  I’m going to wait for the deadline to pass before I start bugging people.  As a guest, I’d be mildly annoyed about being put on the spot when I still have time to send a timely (per your deadline) response.

    But then, I always RSVP and I always do it on time.  I realize that some people are rude or forgetful and don’t ever bother to RSVP, so I don’t know what the solution is. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1246 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    if people dont rsvp and u cant get a hold of them do you assume theyre not coming?

    Post # 9
    Member
    192 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Ugh we are in the same boat.. RSVP’s are due in 3 days (may 1st) and there are still 23 missing!!  I will NEVER be late in responding to an rsvp EVER again.. it is sooo frustrating!  On May 2nd I’m giving a list to FI’s mom for his side of the family, and I’ll be emailing/calling the rest from my side. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    192 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I would assume if you can’t get ahold of someone after trying a few times that they are not coming.  And if they do, they are extremely rude!!!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2344 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    You can remind people when you see them in person, talk them on Facebook, etc. – like weave it into a conversation rather than contacting them for that sole purpose. After the deadline passes, then it is perfectly acceptable to call people and ask them point blank if they will be coming.

    @alishadhs4: If you absolutely cannot get a hold of them, I would tentatively assume they aren’t coming, but some people just show up so you should brace yourself for that possibility. We know it will probably happen but they will just be embarrassed as they won’t have a personalized favor or assigned table!

    Post # 12
    Member
    304 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    My RSVP is May 1st as well, and I’m missing 30 responses for 68 people!  I’m very annoyed.  And I got ZERO RSVPs today.  ::sigh::

    I would wait until you actually hear back before going to your b-list.  Today, I got some comments like “oh, you’re RSVP is in my couch.  I’ll send it tonight” and I just ask “are you coming?  just let me know now!”

    Post # 14
    Member
    2015 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I would actually wait a couple days AFTER the deadline date. We had about five or six reply cards come in because people mail them right on your deadline date … and I didn’t want to seem like I was harassing people.

    But, after those couple days had passed, I had no qualms about being pushy 🙂

    Post # 15
    Member
    837 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Don’t bug people until after the RSVP deadline.  The deadline is there for a reason, and you will likely get RSVPs back at the last minute and even a few days after.  Start making your calls the Friday after the 5th (that gives you two days after the deadline).  You don’t want to annoy your guests lol.  I have a B-List too (as bad as they are lol) and that’s why we are sending out our invitations at the 10 week mark, and I know we will have people that won’t send something back so we will have to make calls as well.  Hope this helps!

    Post # 16
    Member
    1940 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I would wait about 3 business days after your deadline to start contacting people.  If they dropped the RSVP in the mail on the date it was due, it may take a few days to show up.  

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