(Closed) When to start bugging people to RSVP? Deadline coming up in one week…

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What should I do?

    Contact the people you think are probably "No's" so you can know for sure and plan accordingly

    Wait to contact everyone who hasn't responded after the deadline passes

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1756 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I am possibly the most impatient person in the entire world. Maybe the entire universe. When we first started dating, my fiance would always wait until the absolute last possible second to return RSVPs, and it would drive me crazy! You’re either going or not going – respond! I’m now in charge of returning RSVPs. 

    With all that said, even I would wait until after the RSVP deadline to start hounding people. Granted, I would only wait until a day after the deadline, but I’d still wait Smile

    Post # 18
    Member
    1001 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    My RSVP by date is tomorrow, and there’s still 30 invitations floating around.  We’re going to start calling and emailing on Monday.  Most of the people left are distant relatives, so I’m hoping they’re all no’s.

    Post # 19
    Bee
    2360 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

    I am going with the “wait until a few days after” it’s totally frustrating, and I so want to know right now, but I figured I would give 3 business days after so that if people mailed it on the deadline, I gave them some time.  I made it kind of early on purpose.

    Post # 20
    Member
    134 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I also made our RSVP date early on purpose. We had decent RSVP rates, but the worst offenders are our college age (about to graduate like us) friends who have never done this before. Not to mention, everyone’s life is in transition so some of them just honestly don’t know if they can make it yet, or how they’ll get there. That’s fine, but we appreciate at least being updated on the situation! It’s interesting sometimes being the “learning experience” for wedding etiquette among our friends…

    Post # 21
    Member
    2022 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We waited until the day after the deadline to start bugging people. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    447 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I bugged my friends with 1 email about a week before the deadline.  I wouldn’t have asked the older guests (who would’ve been offended, probably), just my friends who I knew wouldn’t care.  I phrased it as “we need to get the caterer some info, so if you could send in your RSVP, or just let me know whether you’re coming, sooner rather than later that would be great.”  I got responses from everyone, so I think it was a good trade-off even though it was probably bad etiquette.

    Post # 23
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I made my deadline two weeks before I actually needed it so I would have a buffer to start contacting people after the deadline but before I had to let the caterer know my numbers.

    Post # 24
    Member
    573 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I voted for the “wait until the deadline” option, but you could call people just to say “hi” and then work it into the conversation to see if they have decided to come or not. This is assuming you’re close enough to the people you invited to just phone them without it seeming odd (maybe wait on those second cousins until the deadline passes).

    Post # 25
    Member
    42 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Thank goodness I’m not the only one going through this…

    My deadline is tomorrow, and I’m waiting on 46 RSVPs from 92 people… for real? And most of the offenders are my family… ARGH! Curse people’s poor manners!

    The topic ‘When to start bugging people to RSVP? Deadline coming up in one week…’ is closed to new replies.

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