Post # 1
I’m the Maid/Matron of Honor in my best friend’s wedding in early June. I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in one wedding before but I was 16 and just asked to help pay for it, wasn’t really involved in planning. The Bride mentioned late March would work best since we’re both in college and will be home then. She’s having a large wedding and I’m assuming the shower guest list will be large as well. So when should I beginning planning? How involved do I get the other BMs, the Bride, and her mom who really wants to be involved? Any advice helps! Thanks!
Post # 3
@allybell: I would give yourself a month or two to plan and get invites out. I guess in my case my Maid/Matron of Honor didn’t involve the other two bridesmaids, although it is common to involve them in both planning and cost. My Maid/Matron of Honor did involve my mother and cordinated it so the shower would be held at my MIL’s house.
So really it is up to you how involved you want the other BM’s to be. If you are one that expects or wants themto contribute to cost, you will need to find a way to bring that up gently. When I planned my BFF’s shower, I ate all the costs and didn’t involve the other BMs becuase they were from out of town and I figured it was kind of my responsibility as the Maid/Matron of Honor. I made all the food (we had apps and finger foods), bought all the decorations, and hosted it at my house. I sent the invites out a few weeks in advance. I had kind of got a Pintrest board together about 4 months in advance so I’d at least have ideas of what I wanted to do.
Post # 4
@megz06: Great, thank you for the advice!
Post # 5
Usually the whole bridal party helps, so you should be planning to meet with them and decide who does what. I would also discuss with her mom how much she would like to help. Start planning now!
Post # 6
Involving the Bride; Date and guest list should be the only involvement the bride has, but can make suggestions of what to and not do do (I don’t want to play toilet paper bride dress, and god help the person who suggests that for my shower 🙂
Involving MOB and MOG; I would make sure they are involved with the date setting, and make sure there is no one else that wants to throw a shower (not that you can’t have two, you just want to make sure no one else wants to as well) They might be involved with the planning, but a lot of etiquate snobs will say you shouldn’t involve them as it looks like a gift grab.
Involving the other bridesmaids; Let them decide how involved they want to be. I would start talking to them now, and let them know the date you are thinking of. Bring up things they can do to help either monitarily, or brining food, or setting up, so you don’t get blank stairs back. Also, don’t let the bride know if so and so doesn’t want to help or contribute. That is just going to stress her out.
Starting; I would have a date now, and have an idea of the guest list. The bride is going to see a lot of family and friends over the holidays, and likely will be asked about these details. She should not be inviting people (not her job, as she is not throwing the party) but having a date set would be nice for her. Everything else can fall into place after those things.