(Closed) When to start sending SO ring ideas?

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Bump!  I would love to hear suggestions here too.  My SO and I talk extensively about the future and getting married together, BUT the ring never seems to come up.  I would love to give him some ideas, but I am not sure how to start.

Post # 4
Member
2420 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’ve been sending him ring ideas for the last six months or so. It started after SO and I went to the jewelry store and looked there that I really started sending him ideas. I’m a huge control freak, so he knew that I wanted to give him options of what I wanted.

Post # 5
Member
7272 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@regit45:  I would ask if he wants you to send them. 

I went totally the opposite direction. It was pretty clear VERY early on that we were going to get married. At something like the 2 month mark, my SO mentioned rings. I told him “it’s too early to talk about that!” but then thought, hey… I can tell him my preferences NOW, when it’s obviously too early for him to buy a ring, so that later he won’t feel pressured! So that’s what I did. Later, I worried that he didn’t seem too jazzed about moissonite and wanted to talk about it again, so I asked “If I talk to you about rings at this point, will you feel pressured?” and he said yes so I didn’t. But now it’s looped back around to him wanting to know details, so I assume he’s getting ready to purchase. We actually looked at rings this weekend and I showed him some of my favorites online. 

Post # 6
Member
8474 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

NO!  Stay quiet!  I’ve seen this backfire one too many times…. Let him bring it up while you patiently wait.

Post # 7
Member
21 posts
Newbee

It honestly depends on your relationship with him. My boyfriend and I are always completely blunt/honest with each other no matter what the topic; we made a promise when we started dating never to keep anything from each other (minus good surprises lol) so for us we started looking at rings together about 6 months ago and he bought one ring I tried on and we both fell in love with it.

 

I’m still waiting of course, but you get the jist!

Post # 8
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

We seriously started talking about engagement I’d say the end of 2012, and ever since I had been looking at rings.  He never asked me what I wanted, but I would casually bring up rings to him that I loved, and show him designs (we ended up going the custom route).  Once the stone we wanted became available for purchase, he bought it then started asking me to seriously choose a design.  After that, it was all up to him. 

So i would just casually bring up a design you like, ask him what he thinks of it, etc.  If he seems OK with it, start showing him more designs.  After I showed SO one, he started asking me for more!

 

Post # 9
Member
710 posts
Busy bee

Personally, I won’t send him ideas unless he asks.

Keep a folder of your ideas in an accessible location (on a shared computer, in a file folder, etc.). Include not only photos and descriptions of what you like, but also some references that are useful. Recreate your research if you’re already a savvy shopper.

Many of the guys I know who recently bought engagement rings took great pride in finding out what their ladies like without asking outright. Sometimes this means asking the best friend or close family member, sometimes it’s perusing her Pinterest, and sometimes stumbling on a stash of ring crushes.

Post # 11
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

i would just say that “you know we have been talking about getting married and ive been thinking of the style of ring id like, would you mind if i sent you a few ideas and you can just pick whichever one youd like, id be happy with either of these”

Post # 12
Member
7272 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@regit45:  Some guys just feel pressured when you bring it up. 

Some other ways I’ve seen it handled:

SO & I are both on Pinterest. I pinned a couple rings and noticed later that he’d saved them on his phone.

My BFF told me exactly what she wanted and didn’t want. When they seemed to be getting serious, I told her man that she has really weird taste in jewelry, so if he was ever in the market for something I’d be happy to help. Sure enough, when he went ring shopping he started texting me a million pictures until we just decided I’d go down to the store with him!

Post # 15
Member
7272 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@regit45:  If he already browses your pinterest there’s no reason to mention it. I didn’t to my SO… he just found them. If not, you could always pull it up on his ipad and “accidently” not close the window. 😉

Post # 16
Member
7272 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@regit45:  Oh I did want to mention… be careful about a whole board full of rings. I told my SO early on that I wanted cushion cut. Then I posted a couple rings that I loved because of the detailing on the band and the overall style.. but they weren’t cushion. He got super confused. So don’t give him a TON of options. rings all look the same to them. And be sure to say WHAT you like about each particular ring in the description. 

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