(Closed) When to tell DH’s son?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would tell the son either when you announce to others, or when you start to show, whichever makes you feel more comfortable. When I was 9, my mom was pregnant with my little brother, and she didn’t tell us until she was 5 or 6 months along. I am pretty sure grandparents knew, it was just a secret from us so we wouldn’t go blabbing to anyone and everyone. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My step mom got pregnant just a few months after she married my dad. They sat us down and told my siblings and I the news before sharing with any one else. They then told their parents, friends etc

Post # 7
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You’re welcome! That is really weird how it keeps cutting you off though.

Post # 8
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@farmgirl2106: I have a similar experience with having been 9 years old with a new little sister on the way. Now, 20 years later, it still bothers me that my mother and step father told EVERYONE under the sun (including next door neighbors!) before they told my sister and me. It almost seems like my parents minimized our importance in that scenario.They waited until she was 6 months pregnant, which did not give us, her own children, a whole lot of time to adapt to our new lifestyle change.

My advice to you, OP, is to tell the son before you tell arbitrary people. He will remember it positively if you were thoughtful enough to share your joy with him first, just as he will remember how you chose to celebrate with everyone else except him if you wait.

Post # 9
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@StuporDuck: I can understand that. I was under the impression that it was only important people who were told. She wasn’t really showing a ton, according to my memory, but I can definitely understand how it’d hurt to know you were last.

Post # 10
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

How old is your stepson? Kids under 5 don’t have a very hold on the idea of time, so if you tell them too early they won’t understand. For kids under 5 I’d wait till 5-6 months when you are showing and can explain there is a baby in your tummy. For older kids, I’d tell them around 12 weeks, before you tell family and friends.

Post # 11
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would tell  him the same time that you decide is an appropriate time to tell everyone else. Maybe he can be the first person you tell if you want.. But I mean same day or so that he doesnt feel left out etc.

Post # 12
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I told my son, who was four at the time, immediatly.  

Yes, he was four, but he needed to know so he could adjust.  Of course, with him, he was picking out EVERYTHING he could for her.  Including telling us what dress she would and wouldn’t like! (Scariest part? HE WAS RIGHT ON EVERY ONE.)

Whenever I get pregnant again, we’ll probably wait a couple months before telling either one to make sure I don’t miscarry (long story there), but our son and daughter will be the first to be told.

Post # 13
Member
7365 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

My daughter will be 8 when her little sister is born.  We waited till I was like 10 weeks.  But she is a bright child and enjoyed keeping the “secret” with us.

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