(Closed) When to tell family and friends we're pregnant?

posted 5 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
986 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Drink a non-alcoholic drink in the same cups everyone else is using.  If anyone notices and brings it up, just say you’ve been sick or you have an early day tomorrow or something.  I wouldn’t announce the pregnancy before you’re comfortable just because of that.

Post # 3
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I didn’t notice one of my good friends was pregnant because her husband drank her drink for her. They’d have two beers, but they’d sit them side by side and no one noticed that he was taking sips from both. They’d have the same thing so no one would notice which was in his hand. Every now and again, she’d pick it up and put it to her mouth but she wasn’t drinking. So subtle, we never noticed.

Also, she’d make friends with the waitress or bartender. One of them would pull him/her aside and say “Baby on board. When I order a gin and tonic, hold the gin.” She would even say to her husband, “this is sort of weak, here, try it” or “I don’t think this is tanquray, they may have used rail.” So sneaky. 

Now is also a really good time to “be on antibiotics.” Say you have an ear infection or whatever and have to refrain for a week.  

Post # 5
9427 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
christinakhar :  as PP said you can lie about why you aren’t drinking or just be sneaky. Another trick that’s easier to pull off at home is just empty a beer bottle and just fill it with water or whatever else you are drinking. They may see you swigging out of an IPA bottle but that doesn’t mean it actually has to be filled with beer! 

Post # 6
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

When it comes to telling friends/family, decide if you would want the specific person to know if you misscarried the baby or something happened. If you wouldn’t mind them knowing everything go ahead and tell them early. If you don’t want them to know then wait until 12+ weeks.

Post # 7
477 posts
Helper bee

Don’t say anything until the 3rd month.many Non PG women drink water. Just do that.

Post # 8
1203 posts
Bumble bee


View original reply
abwcmo‘s suggestion that if you are drinking in a public place, you can just get there early and ask the staff to serve you virgin versions of whatever drink you order.  I joked with my husband that during my first tri none of my friends knew I was pregnant, but half of the bar staff in our city did!

But since this is at home, you can always carry around a fake drink.  Just make sure to do color matching (i.e. not all cranberry juices look like wine) and have a story prepared for why you can’t give someone a sip of your drink (“sorry, I’m recovering from a cold but you can try from [husband’s] drink!”).

But honestly, you’ll be surprised (or maybe not lol) at how unobservant people who are drinking are.  I went to bars where I walked around empty-handed and none of my friends noticed (and I’m a big social drinker!). As long as your friends are not on “high alert” (which is super annoying, being watched like a hawk) they probably will be too busy enjoying their own drinks to care about yours.

Good luck!

Post # 9
5648 posts
Bee Keeper

We are a social boozey lot. It was obvious. They guessed/we told close friends. They kept it private until we announced about 13 week ago after tests. 

Post # 10
137 posts
Blushing bee

I am just over 5 weeks pregnant and we told my parents on Saturday (at 5 weeks exactly). I work with my dad every day so it’s hard to hide my tiredness from him, plus we figured they would be a good support if anything goes wrong. We will tell close friends at 8 weeks after seeing the heartbeat, and my SO’s parents / family at 11 weeks when they are here visiting from overseas. Everyone else will have to wait until after genetic screening at 14 weeks.

The fake drinking is easier I think than saying no if you are usually a booze hound, like me! I went out to a bar with friends and just pretended I was drinking gin and tonic after having a word with the bartender. And at a friend’s place I just pretended I was drinking wine, then my SO drank it (poor guy, he ended up quite drunk haha). 🙂

Post # 11
2360 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

We are TTC our first, so haven’t had much experience with this yet! At this stage, we are planning to tell our parents around 8 weeks (maybe a little earlier, maybe a little later depending on how things go) and everyone else around 12 weeks. DH would prefer to tell our parents as soon as we find out, but I’m a pretty private person and would like to wait until everything has been confirmed with the doctor.

I’m also a big social drinker, so this has me really concerned for when I do fall pregnant lol. Over the last year, I have stopped drinking as much as I used to (not only in preparation for TTC but also because I don’t recover as well as I used to lol) but people still notice if I don’t drink at all. The main tricks we’re hoping to use are having DH drink my drinks and making/ordering virgin drinks. I’ve already established myself as the usual designated driver, so that will also help lol. I also like the idea of rinsing out an alcohol bottle and putting something non alcoholic in it (providing you can match the colour). I won’t be using the antibiotics excuse, as all of my friends immediately jump on the pregnant bandwagon whenever a female uses it lol.

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