Post # 1
Member
48 posts
Newbee
I just need to put this out there, it’s been knocking around in my brain for weeks now! Here’s the backstory: I’d been working at my company for 5 years, and my first day back from our destination wedding, I get my layoff notice that my job will be finished up at the end of the year, due to the company’s financial issues! Here’s the issue: Darling Husband and I were really, really looking forward to starting a family asap (thought we had the stability with both of us being employed, HAH!) I’ve started the job search, so do we just pull in the reigns on our baby hopes for yet another year (the time it would likely take me to get another job in my field and work enough to get a mat leave), or just go ahead and keep trying, would it be absolutely foolish to purposely get pregnant while unemployed? It took me so long mentally to get in this place (I’m 32 & he’s 35!) and we’re not getting any younger! I need some opinions, bees! Anyone been here?
Post # 3
Member
1226 posts
Bumble bee
Does your hubby have a good job that could support you while you are on ”mat leave”?
If so, you could just look for a job after the baby, once you are ready and build a career from there…
Have you too talked about it? What does he think?
Post # 4
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
In my opinion, there’s never a perfect time to have a baby, and if you put it off for one thing, then there will be another thing. I do think you should be in a place where you feel like you’re financially stable and can support a child, but as long as that’s the case, I wouldn’t put it off if it were me.
Post # 5
Member
48 posts
Newbee
@O.My.Heart: We have talked about it, but I’d like some further opinions from anyone who’s got some first hand (parenting) experience. I’ve always been very career oriented, and I think I’m mostly just upset that it took me so long to approach motherhood, and now that I seem to finally be HERE & ready, my career is yet again beckoning for attention. Hubby has a good job with benefits, however it’s quite a dangerous job (offshore pilot) and unfortunately, I make more in my field than he does in his.I hear there may never be an ‘ideal time’ to start a family, but when it happens you just make it work somehow.
Post # 6
Member
48 posts
Newbee
@hardtoconcentrate: This is along the lines of what I was wondering! I suppose I’m too eager in my approach and even a little naive right now. I don’t want to make the wrong decision by jumping into a pregnancy without fully considering the reality and future of our financial lives as we get started.
Post # 7
Member
48 posts
Newbee
I should also add.. I’ve been studying towards a new career direction in my spare time for the last year, and will continue to do so while I continue this job search; so it’s not like I’m wasting my time or just sitting around collecting my employment benefits!
Post # 8
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
@rockdr: I totally understand. DH and I went back and forth on when the best time was for a while before we started TTC. Then we just decided to let nature take its course and we’ll deal with the timing when it happens. But, like I said, we know we’ll be okay financially, it just might end up being at a less convenient time than we would have ideally wanted. But we’re okay with that.
Post # 9
Member
48 posts
Newbee
@hardtoconcentrate: I really appreciate that perspective! Thought I was letting my biological clock get the better of me, but when it comes down to it, we’ve been putting it off for so long as it is! It’s good to hear a logical train of thought, somehow that can relate:)
Post # 10
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
@rockdr: You are definitely not alone – I think everyone goes through this to some extent. I think it’s very rare that people sit down and say, “This is the perfect time to have a baby!” And then magically get pregnant right away and it works out perfectly. I’d say timing is an issue for most people in one way or another. Glad I could help and good luck!
Post # 11
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
@rockdr: I don’t have kids but I’ve talked to my sister who has 2 and she said “You are never going to be totally prepared for kids.” As long as you know you can do it, financially, and you both feel ready, go for it.
