Post # 1
We just got engaged and figured we’d get married in the fall of 2011 (October-ish) because it’s our favorite time of year and want to avoid a summer wedding, but we don’t want to wait too long either. I talked with my mom last night and she said that if I waited until the spring of 2012 (May) that she would be able to help us pay. Otherwise not so much.
We don’t know what to do. We have about $2000 to spend by ourselves – and we figure well be able to save $2000 more before October. We have about 150-175 guests that we want to invite. My brother is planning on getting married in the summer of 2012 as well (although he’s not formally engaged yet – he just told us that he’s planning on proposing this upcoming summer). What would you do?
Also – we want to have the wedding in this renovated barn a little over an hour from our houses/families. Too far?
Have any of you had a 17 month engagement? Did it go by fast/slow? Thoughts please!
Post # 3
I vote for May. I had a 2 yr engagement for the fact that my parents asked me to wait at least a yr after my brother got married and then they could help us pay. So that’s what we did. The time flew by and we were able to not feel rushed and plan out every details as we wanted.
I don’t think an hour is too far. It’s a short enough distance that people can drive home that night if they want.
Post # 4
I’d wait, you can absolutely have a wedding for 4k but anytime you can have other people help you out it is less stressful. My engagement is going to end up being 17 months and its gone by really quickly.
Post # 5
I voted for May for financial reasons. It is possible to have a wedding with a $4K budget, however I don’t know what the costs for weddings in your area are like, and I think it might be a bit hard to have a wedding for that many people with that budget depending on what you want.
We are only having 80 guests, we moved the wedding to a Sunday to avoid room rental costs , discount on food and we are still looking at around $7000 for food and venue alone when you include taxes and gratuities (no alcohol and that’s the basic package).
We’re having an 18 month engagement and I think it worked out perfectly for us. It gives me plenty of time to plan and consider what we would really like for our wedding while having that extra time to save. I’m also not stressed about the wedding because I can block things out for each month so I only have one little thing to take care of along the way.
Post # 6
I also vote that you wait… but as you can see I’m getting married AFTER the later you proposed, so I am obviously okay with long engagements. 😉
I think you will find that it is very difficult (though not impossible!!) to plan a wedding for 150 guests on a $4k budget. Things add up quickly (as I have found out for myself!) and I believe you would be doing yourself a huge favor by waiting until 2012. Plus, being engaged is such a fun and exciting, but very brief time in your life! The way I see it… you will be married for the rest of your lives, what’s an extra 6 months in the grand scheme of things??
And to answer your second question… I don’t think that’s too far away at all!
Post # 7
Why not wait until October 2012? It gives you more time to save, more time to research and do DYI projects, while also giving your parents more time to (hopefully!) contribute more to your wedding. AND it’s your favourite time of year and your #1 choice.
While I know you want to get married ASAP, think of it this way: If you’re going to wait until 2012 anyways, whats another 5 months from May to October, in the long run? If you REALLY want an October wedding, then I would advise waiting. It’ll be worth it, I promise! 🙂
And excuse me while I now prattle on about myself: I couldn’t imagine myself being married at any other time of year. I just couldn’t! I’d be liable to wear a gown & go have a photoshoot in October just because I WANT THOSE PICTURES, DAMNIT. Plus fall = fav time of year, hands down. And – yes, we had a long engagement – by the time we’re married we’ll be engaged a total of 28 months. It was nice to not have any pressure of deadlines looming over my head as I sat and dreamed and researched my wedding day, while also allowing me to focus on other, equally (or more, ha!) important things, like finishing college.
And now that we’re in the “home-stretch” (aka a year to go!) I can put all my visions and extensive research into action! YAY! Plus, by doing all that “pre” work, I have pretty definite ideas already of what I want the day to look/feel like and whats important to me (ie, photography) and what really isn’t (ie, limo transportation).
And breath! 🙂 ha! Sorry.
Post # 8
may will be here before you know it! frankly, i don’t know how you’d throw a wedding with 150 people for $4k. i’m sure it could be done, but it surely wouldn’t be something i want to figure out and it would probably involve a lot of blood, sweat, and tears.
to answer your other question, an hour away from your family isn’t bad…definitely not too far.
Post # 9
While I would normally vote October 2011 because thats when we’re getting married and I freakin LOVE October weddings, it seems like waiting until May 2012 will be the best option for you. By the time our wedding rolls around, we will have been engaged for 16 months and honestly, I wouldn’t have done it any other way. I love having a long engagement. Its giving us plenty of time to save for the wedding we want. Sure, we could have cut corners and sacrificed things but I’d rather wait a few extra months and get exactly what we’ve always dreamed of. Having a long engagement is also allowing us to take our time and not stress over every minuscule wedding detail like alot of couples do who have short engagements.
The fact that your mother will be able to help you out is reason enough to hold off until May 2012. I dont know what kind of wedding you are planning to have but $4000 for a wedding of your size will probably be a little tight. Not to make this about me but our wedding is already over $11,000 for 75 people! Things add up QUICK!
Post # 10
I would wait til October 2012. You get your fall wedding and your money. Can you have the wedding you want on your 2011 budget. If not, wait.
Post # 11
We got engaged in July, 2009 and we’re getting married in Feb. 2011. I can honestly say that I thought it would be a loooonnngggg engagement, but its amazing how quickly its going by!!!
You’ll be ultraplanned out for the wedding day, so thats the good news!! It depends on what type of wedding day you want!!! If you want something that is out of your budget, then I’d wait. But, if you feel that you can pull off a beautiful day with what you guys have saved … then I would do that!!! Imagine what extra things you might be able to do if you wait!
Fact is, marriage is forever, right? So, what’s the additional waiting time mean? 🙂 That’s how we looked at it.
As for the venue being 1 hr away … some ppl are okay with that. In South FL (where I am) we don’t drive 1 hr for anything. lol So, I would get complaints from my family. lol But, I also know there are some places in the US that driving 1 hr doesn’t really bother people. So, it really depends on how you would feel if you were invited to a wedding that was an hr away. Chances are, your guests will feel the same way. 🙂 Hope it helps!
Post # 12
I have been engaged now for 5 months…..and i have NO idea where they went i feel like i just got engaged… i am having a 16 month engagement….time will fly!
Post # 13
We are in the middle of a 23 month engagement and honestly, the time has just flown. I didnt really even start thinking about planning a wedding until 9 months after we got engaged (im a bad bride, I know lol)
Post # 14
I would second the opinion to have an October 2012 wedding. It’ll be in your favorite season, your Mom will be able to help you, plus it wouldn’t be around the same time as your brother’s wedding.
I’m going to have almost a 2 year engagement, and I don’t think I could have handled anything less. There was enough time to take everything slowly and tackle things one at a time. Also it was kind of nice to just enjoy being engaged. I mean, you spend most of your life either being single or married. Relish the exciting time being engaged!
Post # 15
I find anything over a year too long.
Post # 16
We are having a 15 month engagement and now that we’re at 6 months out, I think it has gone by fast…although there have been plenty of times when I’ve wished we had a shorter engagement!
I think it would be fine to wait, but with that said…have you read all the stories on weddingbee about girls who are promised financial help and then it falls through? I would hate for you to wait all that time, get your hopes up, and plan a dream wedding, and then have something happen to your mom and she not be able to contribute.