(Closed) When wedding planning takes a turn for the worst. I’m done.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t blame you.  The day is supposed to be about your Fiance and you, and your wishes.  It sounds like it’s gotten out of control and the guests and family are taking over.  Take a deep breath, take a few minutes to just meditate and collect yourself, and take little steps from here to the end.  Keep the “goal” in sight… you’re on the last mile!  

Post # 5
Member
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Annonybee123:  Just wondering if you and Fiance are paying?  Or is mom?  That makes a huge difference.  Sorry 🙁

Post # 7
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d tell your mom that if she really feels that way then she’ll need to give up her plate to the cousin’s random +1, since the number on the guest list is fixed. 

 

Who’s paying?  His parents, yours, or you guys?

Edit: Saw the answer.  If your parents are helping, I would suggest that they be willing to take on any additional guest costs that are over and above your original number

Post # 8
Member
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Cancel the wedding and elope?

Post # 10
Bee
1433 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Historic Lougheed House

Don’t call it off! We all go through these kinds of stresses and it really does suck, but you have to just get thru them. 

Post # 11
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’ll be a b*tch right now and say if they want more people they can pay for it and if they don’t like it then don’t come. It’s not their wedding, it’s yours. I could see bending if she has a very serious long term boyfriend even if they’re not technically “engaged” but random dates don’t really have to be included, and if you include one you include them all. You and your Fiance have to be on the same side and the same page with this, and it would be nice if your mothers were too. Talk to all three of them about how you feel, hopefully you can all come to a compromise you can all live with.

Post # 12
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Don’t let them ruin this time for you!

I think the answer is pretty simple – no addresses, no invitations!

Post # 14
Member
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wedding planning is super stressful! There are always going to be bumps in the road along the way. I have gotten in numerous fights with my mother, waited forever for addresses from my Mother-In-Law, and have been called a bitch my by bm’s a few times, and I am still 5 months out so there will be tons more to come. The only advice I can give you is to just roll with the punches. If your parents don’t give you the addresses, then don’t sweat it. If they really want to invite them to the wedding then they will get you the addresses. That would also help you two keep your guest count down if you never get their addresses ;). Just remember that “they say” about 20-30% of your guest lists don’t come to the wedding. Don’t sweat the small stuff. If you are getting stressed / upset take a  day or two away from wedding planning. You are in the home stretch now! Once your day is over you are going to wish you could go back and re-do it all over again. (So I have heard! :))

Post # 15
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Annonybee123:  

Yeah, I got that it was his mom’s guest, but if your mom feels strongly enough about HIS mom inviting extra guests, so strongly that she would call her own daughter a bitch over it, then SHE needs to foot the extra cost.  It’s YOUR wedding, not your mom’s.  

Also, sorry you’re dealing with this, I know how disheartening it can be. 🙁

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