(Closed) When will people just grow up?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I guess I am being judgemental and should mind my own business.


Probably. I mean, it’s unfortunate that they have kids and still act this way, but what can you do? Hopefully, they will figure it out one day.

Post # 4
Member
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Katnisseverdeen:  It depends on your personality type, if you are fun and love to party then you might not want to hang out with people your own age if you think they are boring.  My parents have always been party animals, even when we were kids, and they always hung out with a younger crowd because they thought people their own age were lame. LOL 

Post # 5
Member
9732 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Katnisseverdeen:   What part bothers you the most?  Is it that they’re already parents and you feel they aren’t being mature and responsible enough?  To me age 31 is still very young, but it might be a matter of perspective since I’m in my 40’s.  I don’t think you’re being judgmental.  I need more details to decide about that, lol.  😉

Post # 7
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m 29 and my husband is 31, and we still party on a regular basis.  We go out with friends our age, have a few friends that are younger than us, and we go out with my sister and her Fiance, who are in their mid-20s.

I agree with PP, that maybe these people don’t have friends that still like to have fun and party, so they hang out with a younger crowd.

Post # 8
Member
9732 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Katnisseverdeen:   I’m a little confused.  Maybe it’s because I thought it was two separate parties.  Is a stag and doe like a bachelor and bachelorette combined?  If so, why can’t you go with him?

Post # 9
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Sounds like your upset that your Fiance was invited to go party with young girls.  How about you tag along if it’s a co-ed thing?  Maybe you’ll find that “partying” doesn’t have to end once you’re over 30 with kids.

Post # 10
Member
9549 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Don’t confuse your worry about your fiance with your judgements of them. If they are finding responsible care for their children then they can party all they want. With whomever they want. Being concerned about your fiance hanging out with 20 year old is a different matter. Come along if you can but otherwise trust your guy. He wants you. Not a 20 year old bimbo.

Post # 11
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Sunfire:  A Stag and Doe in Canada – is literally a fundraiser party for the bride and groom. There are MANY threads on this topic so I am sure if you do a search you will get tons of info. But I won’t go into it here because it’s not the point of the thread!

OP – I am 29 and still party a lot, and usually with early 20 somethings mainly because they are who I associate with at work. Now I don’t have kids, but I hope that having kids won’t make that much of a difference and hope to still go out dancing and get drunk every now and then.

You being worried about your Fiance is a completely separate issue from their partying!

Post # 13
Member
5189 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

@JenGirl:  Why is someone a bimbo just because they are 20?

 OP, I think you are directing your energy in the wrong place. It sounds like you are insecure about your Fiance hanging around younger women, and are misplacing that insecurity against your friends. This is a trust issue between your Fiance and you, not a “my friends are partying” issue. If they want to spend time partying, they can. Someone can enjoy going out and partying and still be responsible. They do not have to be mutually exclusive. I don’t think one has to reach a certain age and just stop enjoying doing the things they enjoy doing as others think they should.

I am nearing 33, my husband is nearing 38, and neither of us are big “partiers” and we definitely are not big drinkers or out getting “stupid drunk”, but we do have friends of many ages, older and younger, that we enjoy spending time with and it is definitely NOT all about getting drunk. We find connections with people of many ages, and enjoy talking and spending time with them (drinks optional). These are people we meet through work, other social and lifestyle activities, other friends, and so on.

 ETA: ah, a wedding social. I am from Manitoba so these sorts of events are VERY common there (though I have my own thoughts about them) though they are called “wedding socials” and not “stag and does”. I honestly do not see why you cannot go as well. But go as you WANT to go, not to “keep tabs” on your Fiance. From my own experience with wedding socials, the tickets are available for anyone to buy, as it is a fundraiser of sorts, and a big party for “anyone” to go. Heck, I go to them and there are grandmothers and great aunts and young children there most times. In my experience it is not much different than the crowd that goes to the wedding itself, plus a few strangers who came with friends.

I hardly think of a wedding social as “hard partying” and I have known people of ALL ages to have wedding socials.

Post # 14
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@Katnisseverdeen:  Unlike PPs, I tend to agree with your POV (and yes, for the record, we’re being judgemental here). I do think that hard-core, drink-til-you’re-sick partying shouldn’t be a regular thing once you’re out of college. I’m a big proponant of “grown-up parties” that are a huge amount of fun and don’t involve the mass consumption of alcohol for the sole purpose of getting drunk.

You probably see this couple with their three children, perhaps jobs, cars, maybe even a mortgage, and can’t rationalize their life with their lifestyle. I tend to agree with you, and think that heavy partying signifies a certain level of immaturity.

I expect to get flamed for this, so no worries if other people disagree — you’d all probably call my Darling Husband and I boring, overly mature, “no fun” people who don’t have a life. But since we have simply cut ties with our erstwhile hard-partying friends and no longer associate with them, I’d say we did the right thing in seeking people who share our preferred socializing style.

Post # 15
Member
399 posts
Helper bee

i did not read your post, or the comments. i just read the title

ANSWER: never 🙂

Post # 16
Member
9732 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@RayKay:  What she said.  😉

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