(Closed) When Will You Tell People That You're Expecting?

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I told a few coworkers (I am a nurse and some times the smells can really create a problem) and one friend who’s wedding I am in this fall, just so I could take care of the dress. But we haven’t told any family or any other friends yet. We have our NT scan next week, which will be week 12 and if that looks good we are ready to announce!’

We had a MC in November and I think if my family knew now, they would be worried and would stress me out more.

Post # 4
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m not sure yet.  We aren’t even TTC until August- I’m on the fence about telling people right away or waiting.  Part of me doesn’t want to say anything until we’re “safe” but the other part of me thinks that if something does happen, I’ll need all the love and support I can get.  We’ll probably tell close friends and family right away, but keep a lid on it until later.  I think our families will respect our wishes.

Post # 5
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

This is our first cycle TTC and we go back and forth on this all. the. time.

I think we finally decided to tell our parents and sibs after we see the heartbeat, and everyone else after that 3 month window.  We’re fairly certain some of them will let it leak, my one brother is best friends with some of our cousins and DH’s mom couldn’t keep a secret if her life depended on it….but really, what can you do haha.  There’s just no way we could wait the whole 3 months!  We’ll just ask them to keep their mouths shut and hope for the best 🙂

Post # 8
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I know I will tell one of my sisters right away. We tell each other everything, and if anything happened, I would absolutely need her support anyway. I think we would tell our parents and siblings after we hear the heartbeat, but since we live far away from all our family, we might also time it around when we see them anyway. I wouldn’t want to tell one set of parents too far before the other set though. I’m sure we will both let it slip to a few close friends at some point, but otherwise we wouldn’t really start telling people until the 3 month mark, probably make the work announcement closer to 4, if we can hold out until then. 

Post # 9
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@PrncssDva: You see the heartbeat usually between weeks 6 and 8.  You don’t hear it until week 12ish though because before that it’s just too tiny to be making soundwaves.  So we’re doing parents/sibs get to know when we see it…and everyone else when we hear it.

Post # 10
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Hmm, that’s a question I haven’t really thought too hard about before.  Darling Husband and I always said the 3-month thing, but there are factors that might make that hard.  Obviously I would want to tell my family first, but when I’m with a close group of friends we usually drink at least once a month.  I think it’ll be very suspicious if at one of our get-togethers I just decide to opt out of my usual light beer or rum-and-coke.  So they might figure it out first.  My sister is in this group so keeping it from her will be nearly impossible.

Then there’s the fact that I’m just terrible at keeping secrets.  I think it comes down to the time of year I get pregnant.  If it’s in the fall/winter (i.e. more frequent party time for us), it’ll end up being sooner than later.  If it’s in the early spring, I can probably make 2+ months before my brain explodes from keeping my mouth shut!

Post # 11
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

@PrncssDva: It is a really long ultrasound that they use to check for Down’s Syndrome and other congenital defects. At the 12 week mark the chance of miscarriage goes downw drastically,so seein gour little babe and hitting that point will be good. We had our first ultasound at 7 weeks and could see the heartbeating (which usually starts at 6 weeks). Then at our 10 week appointment, they use a doppler to check for a heartbeat and we heard it then too, sometimes you can and somethmes you can’t depending on maternal size and the position of the uterus.

Post # 12
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

@ItsPronounced_ABear: That had been a really hard thing because Darling Husband and I are drinkers too, so I have avoided certain get togethers and such. Other times I say that I have a migraine and can’t drink when I have one.

Post # 13
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think there are way too many variables here 🙂 It all comes down to what you’re most comfortable with! I know some people tell family/close friends right away, have a friend who did a fb (!!!!!) announcement at 8 weeks along, and then a coach of mine waited until 5 months to tell anyone!

Previous losses can really screw things up for some people (in terms of comfort telling people the next time) and I think that was a huge factor for us.The three months/first trimester is a good starting point, but again, not for everyone! Some people can’t wait that long (or have family members with mouths, you know your fam best!) or others have no trouble waiting!

We waited until 12w to tell family (parents, grandparents), I had told a couple friends prior to that, and only really started telling people at 18 weeks(and definitely no fb announcement yet!). I swore parents and grandparents to secrecy until May 1st (between 16 and 17w) after telling them, and they did good!

I am 21w now, 100x less nervous now that she moves and keeps me feeling positive with her movement, but am still glad we didn’t tell anyone sooner than we did. I wasn’t ready for the congrats and positiver insanity (and gifts!) that have come with telling people early, so it really is down to what you are comfortable with 🙂

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