Post # 1
Darling Husband and I are both attorneys. We have been out of school for a year and a half. I will be in my current position until August, when I start working for a judge in a two-year position. DH’s current job will end when my two year gig is up. We will both have to find and start new jobs and possibly move cities. I’ll be 30 in a few months, and we want more than one kid so we don’t want to wait too long to start having kiddos.
I know my future boss will be okay with me having a baby and taking maternity leave during the two year job. And with the insurance (which I’m already on through my husband), will mean we pay about $150 total for all prenatal and delivery costs, which is amazing! I certainly don’t want to do anything to make anyone unhappy with me because of maternity leave timing. My question is: When would you try to have a baby?
Post # 3
First, I would check what the maternity leave policies are going to be with your new job. I know here in Australia you have to work for your employer for 12 months before you’re entitled to maternity leave. Medical costs are all covered as we have socialised medicine, but a company doesn’t have to hold your job for you until you’ve worked there for at least 12 months.
After that, I would suggest maybe your first option of start TTC three months before starting the job would be fairly reasonable. You never know how long it may take you to get pregnant, even if you have no known health problems. Hopefully it’s a quick process for you but at 30, a healthy woman can take up to 12 months to get pregnant and still be considered ‘normal’ (I’m 32 and pregnant with my first so I am in no way trying to put a negative spin on that!)
I always tell people that when you start TTC, you should be financially/physically/emotionally ready for it to happen straightaway, because it does happen that quickly sometimes, but you should also not bank on getting lucky your first, second, or third time out because that’s not always going to happen either.
Post # 4
I would probably start trying a few months before the start date. You never know how long it will take to get KU. It could happen right away or it could take a while. I would start sooner rather than later in your situation. Good luck with your decision. 🙂
Post # 5
If you were younger or only wanted one baby I’d say go slower, but as it stands I say get to making some babies, girl!
Post # 6
@smores: I certainly don’t want to do anything to make anyone unhappy with me because of maternity leave timing.
While that is very considerate of you, no job or bosses happiness would be worth me being a mother when I feel I am ready for it, espeically at that age (not that you are old, but I am 32 and totally understand the wanting to not wait too long) and wanting more than 1 child.
Post # 7
Because you want more than one, I would start TTC sooner rather than later. Jobs will always be out there, and it looks like there is much flexibility. There’s never a really “good” time to have a baby. It will interrupt whatever you are already doing regardless. That’s why I’m always giving my SO heat for not wanting a baby while he’s in school. I’m like dude, you can put it off so the baby doesn’t “interrupt” school, but then you are having the child right when you start your career anyway. May as well go for it!
Have you discussed sibling spacing?
Post # 8
Thanks, ladies! There definitely isn’t a “perfect” time to start having some babies! I’m leaning more toward starting TTC before I begin my new job, but I think Darling Husband may have other ideas. :/ We’ll see! As for sibling spacing, I want our kids to be fairly close in age, like maybe 2-3 years apart. In a perfect world, I’d like to have a couple before 35 and then adopt one more.
Post # 9
Oh, and my positions is not covered under the Leave Act, so maternity leave is at the discretion of my boss (which is one of the big reasons that i need to not make anyone unhappy with my baby timing!). That said, future boss is a super guy and the people that have worked for him have assured me that he’ll be totally okay with me having a baby during my time working for him.
Post # 10
I have a 1 year fellowship that started Sept 1 this year and so we didn’t intend to start TTC until September so I’d have been there at least 9 months when I needed to leave for maternity leave. I talked to my doctor and she was basically like, if you’re ready, don’t worry about the job, it will work out. So we decided to “just see what would happen” starting in June and welp, we got pregnant! Turns out I don’t know why I even cared, it is so not a big deal that I’ll have only been there 6 months. In fact, it made it better, because my first 3 months when I was dealing with morning sickness, I was just phasing out of my old job and not having the stress of adjusting to the new one until I felt much better in 2nd tri. Obviously there is no “ideal time” but I say if you are ready, which it sounds like you are, just go for it. Everythign will fall into place.
Post # 11
I was in a somewhat similar situation. I’m working as a postdoc in a 3-year position, so I knew I would be changing jobs in September of 2012. We ended up deciding that we would try to get pregnant to give birth in the spring of 2012 — so I could still travel for interviews in the winter and would be done with maternity leave before it was time to start my new job the following summer/fall. It ended up working out, although this biggest unknown is how long it will take to get pregnant. You have pretty much zero control over that.
I like the idea of waiting until 0-3 months after starting your job to start TTC b/c you’ll want to get your new job under control first, and the 1st trimester of pregnancy can be really rough w/ morning sickness and exhaustion. That being said, people tend to just make it work, so no matter what you decide I’m sure it will work out fine.
Post # 12
I voted to get at least a year in at the job before the maternity leave. Although you said the boss will be supportive, I think it would be wise to get a little bit established at your job before making yet another big life change. However, that is just how I think.
Make sure you dont’ have to work there X amount of time before you are covered by a leave. A girl at my work was pregnant (didnt know it at the time) when she got hired at my job and she had to go out on leave after being here less than 6 months. She was not covered by leave of any kind because she did not complete the 6 month ‘probation’ period. This meant she had to take time without pay, and didn’t get as much leave as other ladies in our unit that were also pregnant at the time.
Perhaps make sure you know rules like this, and then make your decision. You might not have to wait so long if you find out that you are eligible for leave at anytime.
Post # 13
I agree about checking your policies first. There are limitations to maternity leave and such inthe states also.
Post # 14
Since it can take a year for a healthy couple to get pregnant, I would start once you start your new job.
Post # 15
I would start trying as soon as you start your new job. That way you’re not starting your new job pregnant (might not be feeling well etc) and you never know how long it will take you to get pregnant.
Post # 16
(FWIW, I’m an attorney). I would start TTC when you start your new job…it may take you a few months but I think that since it probably took a lot for you to get this clerkship (congrats!) it is probably appropriate to be at the job for a year before you take maternity leave. If it were only a 1 year clerkship I would say to wait…but since it’s two years I would say it’s fine to take leave during that time. I would also check the maternity leave policy.