(Closed) When you don’t think the marriage will work?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I’ve had a few of those that I went to and thought, “there is no way they’re going to last.” Some have broken up since, and others are still going strong. I wouldn’t ever say anything unless it was a really good friend and I knew something terrible was happening in their relationship.

Post # 4
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Snowy414: I said that with a wedding my fiance was in, and I was right, not even a year later they are divorced. So sad, like can you really not see this before hand???? I don’t think anything you tell them would help if they are already at the proposal point. You just take a chance of messing up your friendship. They will get the hint when you aren’t TOTALLY excited ya know?

Post # 5
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yes, I totally feel that way. my FI’s best man and one of my bridesmaids are dating. We’ve know both of them for a loooong time and we know that this relationship is bad news. Fiance keeps saying that he would not go to the wedding if they got married, but I still would. It’s important for me to be supportive of my friends, even if I think they’re not always making the best decisions…..

Post # 6
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Snowy414: Yes I do. Unless there is some kind of really awful physical/emotional abuse going on, I feel like- I can’t control other people’s choices, but I can support them when things are good as well as when things may go sour…

 

Post # 7
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have a friend getting married this year and I cannot begin to tell you how much of a mistake I think it is. She doesn’t love him, he loves her too much. She’s broken his trust in the past, now he’s overly angry/suspect. They fight a lot. I can’t help but cringe every time I see them involved in any kind of PDA. It feels unnatural and forced.

Post # 8
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Yes. It’s awful when you feel that way.

The worst is when they ask you to be in the bridal party and you feel that way. That’s the only time I have ever said anything. I told them I didn’t feel comfortable standing up there with them knowing that this relationship wasn’t healthy for either of them. Being in the bridal party means you should be the most supportive and that I didn’t feel that way about their union. She was super mad at me and didn’t even invite me to the wedding. 5 months after getting married she caught him cheating on her. They tried to work it out and got back together and at the 18 month mark he filed for divorce and is now engaged to someone else.

Post # 9
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

One of my bridesmaids got married in 2004 to the biggest piece of white trash shit on Earth.  She had a courthouse wedding and asked me to be a witness, so it was a tiny affair.  I was just sitting there wondering why the hell she was marrying him and almost HOPING that it wouldn’t work out.  I think her parents felt the same way.  Thankfully they never succeeded in having any kids together and divorced in 2006.  She’s engaged to a far superior man at this point and I’m soooo happy for her. 

 

Post # 10
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’ve been to two weddings where I was 100% sure it wouldn’t work out and both couples are still together 3 years later, with kids! With both couples, the husband was/is totally disrespectful to the wife and openly did not want to get married. One groom even actually ditched out on the reception to go smoke pot while his new bride was dancing the night away by herself, I am not even kidding. I understand that I don’t know the relationship well enough to judge, since I’m not actually in it. But these are both relationships where everyone on the outside was saying “don’t do it”.

Post # 11
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I know a girl who I thought this same thing about her relationship. Less than THREE MONTHS later they’re getting a divorce…. sad.

Post # 13
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m attending one of these weddings later this summer.  The wedding is taking place because the bride to be found out she was pregnant after they broke up, and the husband to be felt obligated to follow through and propose to her.  These two broke up for excellent reasons and I’m not sure why they think they HAVE to get married because of the pregnancy… plenty of children have fantastic lives even if their parents arent married.

This is the second time my fiance is the groom’s best man.  The first marriage was a TOTAL doozy, the divorce was messy, dude proposed to another girl then called it off… and now he’s engaged AGAIN and marrying the mother of his child (or so we think, he’s not sure if he’s the dad).  Can’t wait.  :/

So much drama. So little patience.

Post # 14
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree with the other bees, Sometimes its not about supporting the marraige, its about supporting the people you love who are getting married.

Post # 16
Member
359 posts
Helper bee

I sent my regrets and did not attend the wedding of a young couple (she was 21 and he was 23 I believe) who were getting married ONE DAY shy of the FIRST anniversary of their first face-to-face meeting.  (Yes, they only knew eachother 364 days and were getting married.)  They’ve been married since September of last year, and from her FB posts, it appears as if she’s DEVISTATED because she can’t conceive, like, RIGHT NOW.

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