(Closed) When you don’t want to invite co-workers…

posted 6 years ago in Career
Post # 3
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Are you inviting other coworkers and just leave those two out? If that’s not the case, then just tell them you’re keeping it small and are only having close friends and family attend. Definitely never bring up anything wedding related near them.

Post # 4
2006 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t see any problem not inviting co-workers if you aren’t friends.  They aren’t people you choose to be around, they are people you have to be around.  No problem there!  But maybe you should mention at some point that there is limited seating or something, so they stop assuming they are invited. We didnt invite anyone from DH’s office because it is a company of like 20 people so we would have had to invite all or none, and that would have added way too many guests once we added spouses.  Nobody ever said anything to us about it.

Post # 5
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m actually in the opposite camp. I’d love to invite a bunch of people from work but i’m trying to limit my guest list so I’m having to only invite those I’m closest with! But I think it’s totally unfair for them to automatically assume they’re invited and I definately wouldn’t cave to them!

Post # 6
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I can relate, I’m not inviting co-workers because I feel like I should invite all of them or none of them, and my guest list is already too full.  They keep asking me about the dress, the save-the-dates, the plans, etc.  So I’m also interested in hearing what advice others have!

What I have been doing: I stopped talking about the wedding, expect for the occasional story about how difficult it is to narrow down my guest list.  

Post # 8
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m having a very similar situation. I work in a small office (about 13 of us) and I only was planning on inviting three girls- these are three that I talk to on the weekends, we’ll hang out together outside of the office, I really consider them friends. But then another woman made comments about being invited and attending the wedding. I unfortunately paniced and didn’t respond at the time. And now I don’t know what to do! This woman is great, but if I invite her- there are at least 3 others I would want to invite, just based on our work relationships. And at that point- it would look like I’m leaving people out so I would have to invite the whole office.

Why do people think it’s ok to invite themselves to your wedding!!

Post # 9
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Yes a few catty ladies that I worked with had it in their mind they were getting an invitation just because I had worked with them for a couple years.

They never got one. If they were upset about it, I do not really care.

Post # 10
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

if you are not inviting any coworkers…I will drop the hints casually how the guestlist is driving you nuts…family needs to invite all the relatives…with limited seats, now you can’t even accommodate…you and Fiance probably can’t invite all the friends. 

My story was true in the beginning and my coworkers understood it rather well, no one self-invite anymore.  I then have a few spots so I invite them quietly but I did told him I only invite the two of them.

Another thing to keep them out is to brush off on the wedding details when they ask.  I didn’t even tell them which month I was going to get married, just said it will be in the summer.  Try not to talk about the wedding at work so the less they know, the better. 

If they keep pushing it, just tell them you guys are having a small wedding and Fiance and you decided you won’t invite any coworkers. 😛



Post # 11
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Exactly: “If I was having a cookout at my own home, would I invite them?  No.”  So why would I want them to my wedding? 

If you don’t socialize outside of the office with these women, there is no reason for them to be at your wedding. Especially as it seems you wouldn’t be in contact with them if you/they left the company.

Always funny who thinks they “deserve” an invite.

Post # 12
890 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I am also in the same situation however, they know or at least if they have been paying attention they know we are keeping it family and people we are closest too.  Even though my boss and some employees have it in their head that we are “family” I just don’t see it that way.  (our office consists of 5 people).  But, they know this and its funny cause they still ask questions about it and they still say “i can’t wait to see you in your dress”.  This stuff cracks me up but I just don’t talk about it and if they ask I answer vaguely and then they stop asking.  So i know what you mean! :)) hang in there youll be fine

Post # 13
1073 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m haveing the same issue as well. I work in a classroom with six other women. While working we interact closely with one another. Only one of them is my age and I have hung out with once outside of school. I keep going back and fourth on inviting her to the wedding. Part of me wants to but another part of me does not. If I do invite her I’m just gonna ask her to keep it on the down low if I do. Invites go out next month so I need to figure it out by then. 

Post # 14
15 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

When they say “I can’t wait to see you in your dress”, you can always reply “I’ll be sure to bring in pictures!” 

Post # 15
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

When you dont want to invite co-workers…

….you dont invite them.

I had the same problem and I didnt invite them. I felt uncomfortable with work people coming to my wedding. I just said we were having a small, family only affair. That is basically true.

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