(Closed) When you Fiance calls you by his ex name a week before our wedding day?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

riirii:  Ive been with my Fiance for about 3 years and was with my ex (my daughter’s father) about 4 years. I have had to catch myself from calling my Fiance my ex’s name- generally this happens when I am annoyed- maybe because my braid associates my ex’s name with angry feelings lol. But also because we have a child it may be because I have to mention my ex’s name here and there for various reasons, so I think if I didnt have a child with him and have no connection to him, I would never think of his name. I have absolutely no feelings for him in any way shape or form, but it has happened to me.

Post # 33
Member
1070 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Since your Fiance has a child with his ex, he probably has her on his mind than if they had a clean break.

I would cut him some slack and I think it’s just a brain hiccup.  I don’t think it’s a reason to call off the wedding.

FWIW, I’ve called my husband my ex-FI’s name a few times over the years and I always feel awful when it happens.

Post # 34
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I wonder if he is more nervous about doing it after he did it the first time, giving him a heightened awareness/level of stress that is actually working against him and making him more prone to saying it? 

Post # 35
Member
415 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t call off the wedding, but I would ask questions. And my gut instincts would make me wondering what was going on.

What is his ex up to these days? Is she in a relationship?

Post # 36
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

As long as he doesn’t call you her name at the alter!

Post # 37
Member
606 posts
Busy bee

riirii:  My Future In-Laws have done it. WELL….almost. They started saying her name when asking me something.

Unfortunately it seems to me when an ex is still around, they’re still on people’s minds.

Post # 38
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

What’s the context? Is it when you’re being intimate or is it just random? I met with an old friend once, mutual friend of my ex, and while I was trying to talk about my husband I kept calling him my ex’s name. Totally embarassing. Sometimes just association does it too.

Post # 39
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I think you need to talk about it if for no other reason than obviously its upsetting you. Don’t act mad at him just talk to him and ask him if he is sure you are the right person for him and ask him why he has called you her name on several different occasions to to have a conversation abou it and not an arguement about it. 

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