(Closed) "when you know, you know"?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: do you agree?

    absolutely! I knew from day one.

    maybe for some people but not for me.

    no way! it takes time to really get to know each other

    other (explain)

  • Post # 32
    Member
    4997 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Definitely not right away! But I’d say after a few years you should know if you’d want to be with someone long-term. There are so many other factors though, so that may not mean you should get married then!

    Post # 33
    Member
    1812 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

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    @4cube:  That’s a good way to put it!

    Post # 34
    Member
    164 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I didn’t know right away, but once I got to know my DH- after about a month or so, game over. I knew he was the one!

    Post # 35
    Member
    641 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    Not for me. We both knew we liked each other and liked spending time together, but we took our time to say “I Love You” and took even more time to decide we were ready to spend the rest of our lives together. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

    I won’t pretend to know if it does or does not happen for other people, though.

    Post # 36
    Member
    641 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

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    @RunnerBride13:  This! I agree with this. Well said!

     

    Post # 37
    Member
    449 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @soontobemrsm11:  i defnately knew. the first day we talked it was for hours all night and i knew that he was different from anything other guy i met and was something special.even when we go through hard times and argue i still know he is the one. i wasnt going to even call him but 3 and a half years later im glad i did

    Post # 38
    Member
    12244 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I was bizarrely attracted to his dating profile, and I felt something different when we started talking (like magnetism or something), but I definitely didn’t know he was “The One” until we’d been dating for 3-6 months!

    And then I was only pretty sure he was “The One”. It wasn’t official until he asked!

    Post # 39
    Member
    1530 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    My DH knew I was the one from our first date – he told his family that he was going to marry me after a few dates.  It took me a little longer to admit it because I was nervous. But after a few months, I knew he was the one and he wasnt going to break my heart.

    Post # 40
    Member
    4759 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I really have trouble accepting concepts like “love at first sight” and “when you know, you know”- when people say things, I tend to believe they’re either seeing the past through rose-colored glasses knowing what they know now or they’re justifying hasty decisions.

     I believe more in infatuation or attaction at first sight (how can you love someone you barely know?) and I think those emotions are often mistaken for true love. Maybe it works for other people, but even though I was crazy about DH from the moment we met, I didn’t consider myself in love (and at 17, I definitely wasn’t thinking marriage!) until I knew for sure that it was real and that we both wanted our lives to go together.

    Was there a special spark? Yeah. But that’s not love. To me, love is much deeper than that and needs to stand the test of time and life’s challenges. It’s so much more than attraction and compatability.

    Post # 41
    Member
    2055 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

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    @soontobemrsm11:  I voted “other” 

    because I think the, “yes! i knew from day one” sounds mor like love at first sight. 

    I knew 5 months into our relationship he was the one so yeah, when “I knew, I knew” but not from day one.

    Post # 42
    Member
    953 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    @Laurenskii:  +1. I agree. While it wasn’t love at first sight for me, I knew almost immediately after we started dating that I wanted to marry him.

    Post # 43
    Member
    2512 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

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    @soontobemrsm11:  I knew there was something different about SO the first time I ever saw him. I thought, “This could be my husband.” ETA for a little context: It was my first day at a new job. He was the first person I saw when I walked through the door. I did not think he was “hot.” It had nothing to do with physical attraction. I just looked at him and had that exact thought.

    At the same time, there were many moments of “just knowing” and realizations along the way. I knew I was falling in love a few weeks in. I knew I loved him around 1 year in. I did not understand the love I had for him completely until about 2 years into the relationship. While we still continue to learn about each other, I truly knew and understood who he was at that point. Our love also continues to grow.

    I didn’t think about marriage in an immediate, time-to-do-this sort of way until 4 years in, even though I already knew I was in our relationship for the long haul and that I ultimately wanted to marry him one day.

    So, yes, I do believe in that expression, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that a couple ought to get married ASAP. It takes time to get to truly know one another, see them at their best and worst, and come to the conclusion that you accept them exactly as they are. It’s not even just about accepting all of your partner’s traits for life; it’s also about knowing how to relate to each other and understanding why they do the things that they do and how your relationship works.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Post # 44
    Member
    9799 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I did have those feelings where I “just knew” I would marry him but it was 2 or 3 months after we started dating, not day one.

    Post # 45
    Member
    9123 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    I didn’t vote because none of the answers fit.  

    So yes, on one hand, I’d say that I knew from the start.  My 16-year-old self was pretty damn positive this was the guy for me, and we have been blissfully happy together for 13+ years now.

    On the other hand, neither of us wanted to get married at a young age.  Even if you’re madly in love, there are SO many external factors that can cause a young couple to grow apart.  Lifelong partnerships take a lot of work and a lot of dumb luck.  We wanted to be sure that as we navigated college, grad school, entering the career world, traveling and exploring our adult preferences for the kind of life we wanted, that we were growing together, not apart.

    So I’m dubious when people say “when you know, you know”.  EVERYONE feels that way when you’re infatuated and madly in love.  Not all of those relationships stand the test of time.

    Post # 46
    Member
    4520 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I knew he was special the night me met. Maybe I didn’t know we’d get married, but I knew he was worth pursuing for sure.

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