(Closed) When you picked your bridesmaids…

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

I had 4 BMs and 2 PA’s – the BMs were my closest female friends…..and actually, one had to drop out (due to expenses), so I switched her to a PA and added a childhood friend as a Bridesmaid or Best Man……which I may/may not come to regret. It was great for the time.

The other PA (like the first) was a friend from college that I kind of felt would not be as close once we got further from our college days. That and I didn’t think either of them would be as excited to help plan or participate in other wedding events. I was right, lol.

My Maid/Matron of Honor was a little pushy/bossy, but I completely expected that, and my 2nd Bridesmaid or Best Man was recently married and always had my back on that kind of stuff. The 3rd & 4th BMs were long-distance and completely laid-back. So I guess no one really surprised me with an attitude change once they became a BM? If that helps?

The most helpful was definitely 1st BM  – she had just gotten married and totally gave me great advice! If Maid/Matron of Honor and I hadn’t had a pact from 12th grade that she would be my Maid/Matron of Honor if I married her cousin (I did!), I would have switched her and 1st BM’s roles.

Post # 4
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I chose my 3 best girlfriends (have known them all since 2nd grade), my sister, and my cousin (whom I lived with in college & have always been close to). I was concerned that, since many of them live Out of Town, and I actually live across the country from my hometown now, it would be difficult. Honestly, I also expected them to be totally flakey. But, I was pleasantly surprised. I’ve made next to no demands, and they keep surprising me by being so on top of things, and showing a lot of interest. 

I think one of the biggest reasons that it has worked out so well for me is that my 3 “friend” BMs are very close to one another, and they have known my family forever, so they’re not uncomfortable dealing with my sister & cousin. Basically, if one of them steps up to the plate with planning or organizing something, it’s been easy for her to get the others on board. Communication seems to be key. Or maybe I’m just lucky 🙂

Post # 5
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I had 6 BMs. my sister, 2 cousins, and 3 friends. My 2 friends are from college while the one was from high school. It was no question about my high school friend and cousins. But I was being skeptical about the college friends. I got engaged right when I graduated so I wasn’t sure how close I would be with them a year and a half down the road.

It worked out really well though. I am still good friends with them and I’m in my one BMs wedding this fall.

Down the road when I’m looking at pictures I may think to myself ” i wish i was as close with them as I was in these pictures” . but what are you going to do?

Post # 6
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

It’s kind of hard to know who you’ll still really be friends with 5 years from now. I can honestly say there are a few friends in my life now that 5 years ago, I wouldn’t have thought I’d ever be speaking to them outside of work/school.

With that….I picked my sister, my SIL, my best friend from college, and a friend who I had only known for about 2 years at the time. She and I became really good friends so I wanted to include her on my special day. The only person I regret picking was my SIL. I picked her out of obligation/to avoid awkwardness of NOT picking her. She turned out to be a royal pain. I’m pretty sure she only said yes out of obligation/to avoid awkwardness as well, so we butted heads over EVERYTHING.

Post # 7
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

oh and I also asked them about 10 months in advance. I didn’t want to ask too early for the obvious reasons

Post # 9
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

We chose to have a small wedding party because it’s what we wanted. My matron of honor was my sister-in-law (brother’s wife). She is the sister I always wished for, and will always be there to support Mr. LK and I. Having her stand next to me was a no-brainer. My man of honor was my teenage son. Raising him as a single parent for so many years, we have a pretty tight bond. I knew I needed him there with me. That’s it for my side. I could have asked my wonderful girlfriends, and I know they would have been happy to be bridesmaids, but I wanted it to be just my family. It’s what felt right for me.

I did honor my girls in other ways. I had them with me in the bridal suite, paid for their hair and make-up, and gave them bridesmaid-ish gifts. Although they were not official wedding party members, they are a continual source of strength and happiness in my life. I wanted to make sure that they knew how much I appreciate having them as my friends.

Post # 10
Member
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

About 5 years before I met my FI! My bridesmaids are my only sister who I have always been super close to, even as sisters go and my best friend, who is pretty much a third sister.   Because it is just that gruesome twosome I know my mind won’t change! I like to tease Fiance and say I’d sooner swap him than one of my best girls!

Post # 11
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My best friend, we’ve been friends for over 20 years (we met in kindergarten) so we’re more like sisters, and my two little sisters. Don’t think I’ll be picking a Maid/Matron of Honor since they’ll all be too far away to be able to help until a few days before.

Post # 12
Member
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

@MsBrooklynA:  If you think they’d be good bridesmaids, go for it! If you are unsure or worried they’ll be confused at you picking them…..those sound like great candidates for your personal attendants!

Technically, my Maid/Matron of Honor was my DH’s cousin, but we were friends before I knew Darling Husband…so I wasn’t really ‘picking’ anyone from his side.

Post # 13
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

I chose my 3 closet most bestest girl friends =)  I have a lot of girl friends and close cousins so I had to either go with only the “top 3” or else I’d have like 15 girls!

so my sisters didn’t make it, we aren’t close.

Post # 15
Member
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I had my three best friends – best childhood friend, best friend from high school, and best friend from college, all girls that I am really close with and have been for ten years plus. I also asked FH’s two younger sisters to be in the wedding. They have been so awesome in welcoming me to the family, and they’re really excited to be standing  up for us.

I asked all of them about 8 months out. 

 

Post # 16
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@MsBrooklynA:  i didn’t include anyone from DH’s family. I’m sure I could have but it was just too much.

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