Post # 1
my good friend is coming to visit from Thursday night-Sunday afternoon. She has two toddlers-one is 2 1/2 and one is just barely one. She asked if she could bring the kids and her husband. I’m not too thrilled with the idea because we have a small house and animals, but how could I say no? We don’t have kids ourselves and neither me or my husband are really into kids much.So she’s bringing them but I’m just curious if other moms would do the same. Her husbands family lives in town to watch them or maybe her husband could have stayed home with them to let her have a long weekend away. I’m happy she’s coming and it should be fine but just wanting some perspective from moms out there.
Post # 2
I wouldn’t be away from my kids that long so yes I would bring them. I’d probably stay in a hotel though.
Post # 3
I’d have to know more about the nature of the visit.
If my friend called and invited me on a girls’ weekend, I’d leave my kids at home.
If my friend called and invited me to visit her and her husband, I probably wouldn’t think about my family not being invited. I would just assume that they were. Unit visiting unit, you know?
A different situation might be a different thought. Hard to say without knowing the people involved.
However, if I lived in a small place with animals and wanted to say no, I would just have the conversation. Tell her that I’m sorry but our apt is tiny, we aren’t baby proof, we have nervous animals, whatever the case may be. Most parents understand.
Post # 4
cpabee : right. It’s couple visiting couple. I see your point. Our house isn’t tiny it’s about 1,000 square feet and our animals aren’t nervous-it’s just a lot of bodies in not a lot of room. It’s just going to be a bit crazy.
Post # 5
Unless it was a girls weekend, I would bring them.
Post # 6
If you invited a couple to visit, knowing they had young children, what did you think they would do with the children? Unless you were explicit that they were not included the assumption would be that they are.
Next time frame it as a girls’ weekend and kick your SO out for the weekend–it should be easier for him to find some place to stay than for your friend to find a place for toddlers, right? I was always up for a girls’ weekend away from the hubs and kids when they were small. Or even now!
ETA: Just re-read your OP that she asked to include her husband and children. Did you invite just her? Can he really not handle his own children on his own for 2 1/2 days?
Post # 7
I certainly would never assume it was ok to bring them, but I also would be less inclined to go stay with someone if they weren’t invited–leaving husband alone with two toddlers for a long weekend would not fly. I don’t even have any kids yet, I just already know the daggers Darling Husband would glare at me if I even asked his opinion on this hypothetical, lol. (It’d go both ways..)
So, yeah, if a friend invited me out I’d have to ask if the invitation were me only or family too, and if not I’d probably say no. (ETA: we only want one kid anyway, so we’re both pretty bias against dealing with two toddlers to begin with, hah.)
Post # 8
We are CFBC. However, if I issued an invitation for a weekend stay to a couple with children I would expect that the children were coming too.
Post # 9
It could go either way. If I just wanted to get away and “be free” to catch up with my friend, I wouldn’t. But if I just wanted a little trip, I’d want to travel with my family. Having husband there would help free me to catch up with my friend, and my friend would want to see my kids too.
Post # 10
Huh. Okay. I’m learning a lot from this thread. I’m 31 and none of my other friends have kids so it’s a bit of an adjustment. I just don’t really care for small kids and would probably have a better time this weekend if they weren’t there. But I guess I just need to change my mindset.
Post # 11
I think it would depend on the plans, but in general kids are treated as part of the family unit. If I invited a couple who has an infant, I would assume they’d bring the child/ren unless it was specifically organized around a very not kid-friendly activity, like a late night concert.
Post # 12
It sounds like there needs to be some added communication between you and your friend. And if you don’t care for kids in general, toddlers are NOT going to help that situation. It’s not really realistic to expect them to not bring their children with them but I also don’t understand why you and your friend were planning a visit and then she had to ask you if her whole family could come too? The whole business seems odd to me. Were you expecting just to have her visit?
Post # 13
It totally depends on the nature of invite and the plans that you have together. I assume babies/toddlers are coming unless stated otherwise. I think you need to chat with her xo
Post # 14
I have a 6 year old, if a friend invites myself and husband you better believe my child would be coming with. We are a unit. If it is a girls weekend then no my child would be staying with my husband. The only way we would not bring our child is if we wanted a weekend get away and either my husbands parents or mine were able to watch our child. But 99% of the time our child would be with us
Post # 15
Depends. Is she coming to town not for you and needed a place to crash? In that case I think her asking is completely fine. Did you invite just her for a specific girls weekend? In that case it’d be overstepping. It really depends on a few variables.