(Closed) When You Want to do Something He Doesn’t…

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i don’t have an answer for you, but i am learning that sometimes you do have to give up a little bit of something you like to get something great- your fi!

i love traveling, i’ve been all over the world and us…. but my fi didn’t go on an airplane until he met me, and so far that was only one time. he does have an excuse, he has crohns so not being close to a bathroom is a huge fear for him, and that’s hard to do when traveling. do i miss traveling? yes. but do i love my fi more? of course! hopefully you can find a comprimise, just like we do little trips here and there. sure, it’s not to europe, but right now i’m just happy being with him.

Post # 4
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

Aww this breaks my heart because I am such a dog lover. What is the placement process like? As in, are you able to spend time with dogs before you decide to foster them? YOu mentioned that he’s loved dogs in the past that you’ve fostered; maybe it’s still possible he can find a dog that he really “clicks” with if you’re able to take the time to be choosy and he has a big hand in the decision as to which dog you foster?

Post # 5
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - Eastside Catholic Chapel and Lake Union Cafe

What about another animal?  Does he like cats?  My husband thinks he’s allergic to dogs so we compramised on a hypo allergenic one.  Actually, it has to by hypoallergenic and we have to wait until the summer.  It took me 4 years to get him to get on board the doggie train — don’t give up!!

Post # 6
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2000

You’re right– sometimes things are a compromise, and sometimes one of you may give in to the other even if it’s not what he/she really wants.  (That’s quite different than a compromise!)

The fact that your hubs is clearly not a dog person, but that he’s given in to letting you have a dog in your family, and has grown to love your pup speaks to how much he’s willing to make space for the things that are important to you.  You’re not compromising in this case; he is. 

I understand that fostering dogs in your home is important to you. It sounds like he’s given in quite a lot (based on the number of dogs you say you’ve already given temporary homes). I’m not an expert on relationships– but I can say is that I’ve learned a lot over the last 10 years that my hubs and I have been married. 

I’d suggest taking a little break from this one. Let him enjoy just having your dog for a while, without pushing him on the fostering thing.  Guys are so funny– often with a little time and space, they totally come back around to the exact thing their girls really want. Not kidding! 

Of course, if you decide this is a must for you, and you’re unwilling to give in, then you’ll just have to decide the best way to approach him.  I’d suggest proceeding with caution. 

Post # 8
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2000

Apricot, you have such a kind heart! 

P.S. Happy very early anniversary!

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