- 5 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
So I come from a bit of a unique family mixed with dysfunction and my husband comes from a well respected got it together family. For the wedding this was obvious. My huaband had many well respected known and together people whereas my side was much more edgy to say the least. So when my uncle whom I did not invite came to my wedding with his wife it wasn’t a pleasant surprise. This uncle is an ex addict and while I’m proud of his quitting, its only been a year and I barely knew him, but my whole life he was an addict.
I tried to let it go that he went without being invited until it came time for the toasts. What a horror!
For some readon, thid uncle I barely knew, was chosen to give a toast or whatever. It was about five minutes long consisting of his only memory of my from childhood, buying shoes. It was all rambling rhat no one could understand and was finished with a “I wish you long suffering”. I feel for my uncle you know, the drugs cause serious brain damage after so long and his teeth were all gone but at fhe same time I was humiliated seeing the horror on everyone’s faces as they tried to understand what he said.
Now a year later mt Mother-In-Law is throwing me a baby shower. Same people who were at our wedding but my guest list is much shorter. However my mom is insisting on inviting other members of the family who I am close with but there are problems. Like one has absolutwly no idea what appropriate conversation is. She will in five minutes tell a stranger about the moat traumatic events of her life followed by blaming imigrants on the economy and finishing with a list of her pgysical and mentL health deteriorating. The other person is a male family member who is a great guy but juat got custody of his kida and what they went through hefore he got them has made them really unruly misbehaved kids that trash a place within minutes and at 8 years old one throws the most insane temper tantrums imaginable. The dad is so frayed and lost all of a sudden being a single father with his kids that were mistreated while he was deployed that he doesn’t know the proper steps in disciplining and is lost.
I can’t spend the baby shower disciplining his kids like I did on my wedding day or beig humiliated hy the lack of boundaries hy the other person but my mom insists and tyey both want to g I’m as close as I can be with these peolle and they are good people butmaybe its the hormones, would I regret not inviting them in the long run or will I regret letting them go in the long run like allowing my uncle to show uninvited?
What so you do in a time like this? Sorry for the typos, I have a small phone