When your MOH doesn't like any of your bridesmaid dresses? (mini vent)

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Tacoma, WA

Is it possible to give your MOH/Bridesmaids a color and let them choose their own dresses in that color? I know a few people who have done that.

Post # 3
Member
3240 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I would pick a color and a length then, have her pick whatever she’s comfortable in. You don’t want her looking uncomfortable in photos.

Post # 4
Member
13066 posts
Honey Beekeeper

She doesn’t have to match. If you are set on having her coordinate with the BMs, just give her a color or a range of colors. 

Post # 5
Member
342 posts
Helper bee

Places like Weddington Way are good for this. You can pick a color and length and fabric, but the specific bridesmaids will select their own dress. You get your uniform look, and they can select from 20+ styles. Also, in my opinion – I do think that a bride should be respectful of what her MOH+BMs want, but I also think the wedding party needs to be open and able to realize that a dress *100% perfect* for their body type might not be perfect for the group. 

Post # 6
Member
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

From what you’re saying I can’t tell if she is being unreasonably picky or you are being unreasonable as to what she will fit in. Shopping is difficult enough without having to try to shop for what will fit someone else’s body. 

Either give them a color and a general style, which might be easiest. Or ask her for a suggestion for the dress to see if she is just trying to be difficult or she can come up with something that will fit her. 

Post # 7
Member
3381 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
fourthnoel :  easiest solution is to either do all mismatched dresses (they can pick their own) or do one dress for the BMs and let her do a different one since she’s Maid/Matron of Honor

Post # 8
Member
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

If your wedding is in May 2019, I’d hold off a bit on bridesmaid dresses. Wait until October/November and then revisit this with your sister. The dress doesn’t need to be purchased until 6 months out. You don’t want to go through months of stress over someone being picky about clothes, and you don’t want to give her too much time to change her mind. If you wait a few months she’ll understand that she HAS to make a decision and she probably will. Right now she probably feels like she has a ton of time so she can be picky

Post # 9
Member
867 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

This is the exact reason I’m picking a color and then letting my BMs pick whatever the heck they want.  Also reading what she said, I’m wondering if this could be deeper than any particular style of dress.  Is there a chance she might not feel great about her body and therefore every dress will have something wrong with it?  Sometimes when there is so much negativity it often seems to be about something deeper than what’s on the surface.  I also agree there is SO much time between now and then, so I’d probably hold off in seriously shopping for dresses.

Post # 10
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

My bridesmaids were local so we went shopping together.  It was clear everyone liked a different style so I picked the color and let them choose their own dresses.  Everyone was happy in the end and looked beautiful.

I agree if your wedding is next May to maybe give dress shopping a break and revisit it in a few months.  I also rarely see all the bridesmaids wearing the same dress these days.  It’s much more common to have them pick their own dresses.  I have horrible body image issues and was that bridesmaid that hated all the dresses so I get the frustration of having to buy a dress you feel ugly in.  But I did it for my friends and chalked it up as that’s part of the deal of being a bridesmaid.

Post # 11
Member
659 posts
Busy bee

V-neck dresses are generally a safe bet for ladies with larger chests.  If the dresses she likes are all v-neck but seem to be too plunge-y, then revisit your search and choose a few v-neck dresses that don’t have as deep of a v.  The joy of a v-neck dress without a deep v is that you can wear a bra with a lot of them.  She *should* be happy with that.  If she’s not, remind her that your wedding is not the best place to be flashing the girls around and ask why she mentioned it before if that’s not the actual problem.   

Post # 12
Member
2834 posts
Sugar bee

As a large-chested girl, v-necks are usually the most flattering choice.  And are usually bra-friendly.

I like the look of mismatched-but-complimentary bridesmaids, so I’d pick a color or a color palette and let them pick their own dress.  

I think it’s very sophisticated looking, especially when the bridesmaid dresses are shades of the same color and collecdtively give a look of ombre, kind of like this:

shades_of_gray_mismatched_bridesmaid_dresses

Post # 13
Member
1387 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I agree with the others! Maybe just let them choose subject to your approval, especially if you think you’re less picky. 🙂 My bridesmaids chose their own and I thought they looked lovely!

Post # 15
Member
3240 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

View original reply
fourthnoel :  I do like that dress! I’m so happy this ended well!! Congrats 🐝 

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