- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 2016
Hello fellow bees,
As the title states, how do you cope with painful jealousy? I know it’s not fair of me to feel this way, comparison is the thief of joy, etc, but I really just can’t even help it. And I’m quite certain that at one point or another, many of us can relate. Be warned, this is a long one.
That being said, SIL and her new husband just had an all-out 200 or 300 person wedding, immediately followed by a like, two week honeymoon in Hawaii. They are now moving into their darling new place together with their scores of wedding gifts. (There was an entire table dedicated to presents at the reception.) She was even gifted a livingroom. Not to mention that they had the WHOLE wedding package, including all the ‘before’ parties. (Her hen party looked amazing.. Something I wasn’t included in, it was displayed on a snapchat story with multiple videos.. Professional cake, presents, a venue, tons of friends..) it just seems like everything has been effortlessly and flawlessly falling into their laps since the day they began dating. Possibly even before that. They both have good relationships with their families, good jobs, and are equally dedicated to their church together… Even her proposal was this grand affair (her Fiance invited everyone they knew to stage this surprise proposal, complete with lights and candles all over the place on the water- I’m not necessarily jealous of this, her Fiance actually copied my Darling Husband, anyway not the point) but anyhow… Then there’s… Us.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my Darling Husband with all my heart and wouldn’t trade him for a moment, but it just seems like we’ve really had to navigate MAANNYY bumps in the road… First of all, we ended up dating for considerably longer than either of us had wanted because we simply could not afford a wedding, even our engagement was longer than SIL & new DH’s (and they’re both younger than us) Our wedding ended up being a ceremony elopement with a small reception celebration happening 6 months later. This was not the ideal original plan, our ideal original plan included a stunning venue with a catered dinner, basically the whole nine yards. More than 3/4s the way into our engagement, life happened and took over, and we realized our dream wedding was no longer happening. We were actually on the verge of doing nothing more than the private courthouse elopement. (And let me just make note that since I was a little girl, I had DREAMED of my wedding, something that has always been deeply sentimental to me. ) We also had planned on a lovely week-long honeymoon vacation to Hawaii, but of course, that got canceled too. None of my girlfriends really stepped in and wanted to plan any kind of fun hen party, only a fraction of my immediate family will be attending the reception, my Darling Husband does NOT stand on good grounds with my dad, actually my dad is hardly even a part of my life, so I never would have gotten that father-daughter moment of him walking me down the aisle… Many of my extended family didn’t show much of any interest in anything wedding related for us (not to mention I’m literally the first grandkid out of my family to be getting married) … Darling Husband and I came from different backgrounds, and have had to seriously work at our relationship to make it work, he owns a small business, so it’s constantly feast and famine financially. I don’t know bees, it’s just been rough, and if I’m honest, there have been many compromises and disappointments that have been happening lately. I think SILs GoPro Maui Instagram video is just kind of what tossed me over the edge… I don’t know that she’s purposely bragging, or if it’s all just happenstance, and I’m being overly sensitive, but when someone else’s perfect bubble life is on constant display, while you’re really just trying to make things work, well, it can really hit close to home sometimes.
Please tell me how I can snap out of this, NOT compare or be jealous of others, and feel better in general, bees. This is just one example, my sisters Fiance just bought her a literally brand new vehicle, and they’re on vacation now. Neither of which Darling Husband or I will be able to afford in the foreseeable future. I don’t even have my own vehicle at the moment… Just to tack on another thing to the list. Obviously, I do know that there will always be someone who “has it better” etc but it’s just hard when those people who DO “have it better” are parading about right in front of you..