- 2 years ago
Regular bee going anon. The question is, when you have a great relationship with your husband that you have absolutely no intention of jeopardising, but you start finding someon else attractive, how do you deal?
When it’s a one off (sales assistant, banker, whatever, someone you most likely will never see again), then it’s pretty clear.. enjoy the momentary butterflies, remain professional and then ‘boy bye’.
But what about when it’s someone that you are likely to continue to run into? In this specific situation, the husband of a woman whose son goes to school with my son. Woman is very friendly, sons play together, woman’s husband is extremely attractive and smiles at me *a lot*. So far, I deal by being friendly with ”woman” but not overly friendly, politely declining her invitations to do things together due to being ‘busy’, but letting our sons play together at the local playground. Problem is, woman’s husband often comes to playground instead of her, to give his wife some time off. He’s an involved parent just as my husband is. I can’t very well stop my son from going to his favourite playground and playing with all his friends.
So, so far, I’ve been dealing by taking other opportunities with my son when they come up, not going to playground all the time but not avoiding it either.. just ‘living my life’. If I see ”woman’s husband” walking towards me, I’ll either say hi and keep walking, or sometimes pretend I haven’t seen him and pop into a shop to avoid the interaction. I think I’m doing fine managing this possibly mutual attraction so far, but I don’t want to run into trouble at any point. I know from past experience (before I was married or dating DH) that when you find someone attractive and continue to run into them, attraction can increase.. I don’t want that happening. I love my husband and am extremely happy with him.
Also this probably isn’t the last time in my life that this type of thing will happen.. just because you make the commitment to one person, doesn’t mean you’ll never get a crush on another guy again. Just want to make sure I don’t at any point venture into ’emotional affair’ territory or anything else. Any advice? Happened to anyone else?