(Closed) When you're waiting and every "surprise" feels like it could be the proposal

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I did not feel this way. I though the opposite like why would he tell me of a surprise like that? I felt he wouldn’t give me any clue about it so it would be a total surprise. I also didn’t realize he was proposing when it was obvious he was about to so maybe I’m just completely oblivious. I also didn’t sit around expecting it to happen becasue I knew I would go crazy with waiting and hoping and be let down if it didn’t happen when I tought it would. The best advice I could give you is to wait patiently but stop expecting it or thinking about it, just have fun and be happy with the little surprises he does now. 

Post # 3
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

Waiting is the worst part! It will happen when you least expect it, so try to stop thinking into it and enjoy the moments. When I was waiting and we were heading out on vacation, I didn’t think it was going to happen..I would remind myself that “this might be the last vacation as bf/gf, this might be the last time we do XYZ as bf/gf” and it made me relax and enjoy everything…and it ended up happening on the vacation 🙂

 

Post # 4
Member
509 posts
Busy bee

I totally understand! Every time we went somewhere slightly romantic, every time he did something a little bit surprise-y, I was thinking it would be a proposal. It’s so hard to switch off.  I don’t have an answer but just wanted to give support and say that I get it! 

Post # 5
Member
34 posts
Newbee

I get it!  My boyfriend suggested we go to see a band play that we haven’t seen since our first date 3 years ago and the ride happens to go past a mountain top view that’s a place where people go to “park” where we also stopped by on our first date. (No, we didn’t go parking lol.) I’m 90% sure this is it, and 10% convinced it’s a coincidence. But this is out of the ordinary and do it has me excited…just like every other thing he mentions that’s out of the ordinary lately haha!

Post # 6
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Friendship Plaza

I don’t really have a solution either – but I totally get it!

Lately I’ve not felt as tortured, and for whatever reason, I’m feeling content in the waiting. I’m not sure if it’s because I feel like it’s definitely happening soon, or because I have so much going on that I can’t even obsess on it anymore. He is talking about wedding ideas ALL THE TIME TOO. Every day. I’ve started to swing my head at him, flutter my eyelids, and baritone out, “.. is that a proposal ..” and he stutters and it’s a funny moment. It just feels lighthearted and possibly-near.

I still have my long-term plan, which is, if it hasn’t happened by then, I’mma turn around dramatically and announe, “I’m ready to be engaged today.” and be firm.

This is also silly, but one thing that has helped me is buying a couple rings for myself as a treat. That way I’m enjoying the versatility in my ring fingers before that real estate is bought. It works!

Post # 7
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Maybe it’s his way of making sure you’re surprised when he actually does it. My fiance did the exact same thing- bought me dress, took me out for a nice dinner, and the whole time at the restaurant I was staring at him. haha! Only to find out that he was going to do it the week after. He just liked seeing me suffer like that. haha

Post # 8
Member
1054 posts
Bumble bee

sassydingo:  I felt this way and my best friend gave me the exact advice I needed. “It’s either gonna be a regular night or the best night of your life, but either way it’s not going to be bad.” It’s so important to not focus on the proposal because you’ll ruin way too many good times. It could be six months before he proposes. Try your best to forget about it!

Post # 9
Member
5037 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

Over the winter through March 20 (my birthday) I thought every significant date would be the day.  However here I am still with no proposal.  I have a feeling it will happen on a day I least expect.  The excitement has worn off some.  Fortunately for me my SO doesn’t surprise me often so I guess my hopes don’t get up as yours do.

Post # 10
Member
1593 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

sassydingo:  I feel your pain! I’m in the same situation. I know he has the ring in a lock box in our safe in the house we share together, and he actually showed me the setting before he had the ring set (not 100% sure that he’s already had a stone set, but I’m about 90% sure). I keep thinking every day will be the day.. hopefully your day comes soon!

Post # 11
Member
5882 posts
Bee Keeper

I was on your SO’s side until I read the part about the ring pops.

Because to give guys the benefit of the doubt, when we’re waiting Bees we’ll read signs into all kinds of non-proposal-related ‘clues’ and anticipate it at every holiday & event etc. So if your SO simply planned a nice supper out for you, while it’s understandable you’d be hopeful, likely he just intended to do something sweet for you and wasn’t realizing your ring-radar was pinging. However, putting out ring pops for you is kinda like wtf? to me. Is this his idea of ‘teasing’ you? Or does he enjoy the power play of dangling the possiblity in front of you? Really wouldn’t sit well with me, I think it’s mean to make a Bee think she’s proposed to and then haha, nope not yet, keep waiting. 

Post # 12
Member
788 posts
Busy bee

I would assume it’s his way of keeping you guessing so that you don’t automatically know it’s going to happen. My SO is not a planner and most date nights are planned out by me. If he doesn’t plan a few dates out leading up to a proposal I’m going to have a pretty good guess at what’s about to happen!

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Post # 13
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Loveless Barn

MrsFiveOh:  Your friend is a wise woman. 

Post # 14
Member
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

RobbieAndJuliahaha:  These were my exact thoughts. If he did that on purpose because he knows you’re waiting for a proposal….it’s not funny or sweet. 

Post # 15
Member
1151 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I totally felt this way for about a year of waiting then finally one night I was like (once again) “is this it..” and it finally WAS.  I have been married for months now and sometimes when he acts extra romantic I STILL, for a split second, wonder if he is about to propose then I remember that happened already and we’re married.  LOL

Just be excited!  I’m sure it’s coming and it’s the BEST feeling!

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