(Closed) When you've lost a loved one, how do you celebrate the holidays?

posted 7 years ago in Holidays
Post # 17
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We recently lost my grandmother and we are planning a sort of memorial for her during Christmas dinner (toasts and stories and such). I am also (trying – whole big story there) to honor her traditions because she used to always do Christmas dinner for the family and I am hosting this year for the first time and doing the things she used to do as a tribute to her and her memory. We are all still very sad but I am hoping that I can bring some cheer to this first Christmas without her by honoring her memory and sitting around telling funny grandma stories because she was a hoot 🙂

Post # 20
Member
1812 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

My mom died around the holidays last year, so I “went through the motions” and tried to do everything we normally did. I mostly gave gift cards because I was having trouble plucking up the motivation to “really” shop.

This year I made a donation to her church’s single moms group. My mom pretty much single-handedly founded the single moms/divorced womens ministries at that church, complete with collecting donations for poor single mom church/community members to buy Christmas presents for their kids. So it was the least I could do to throw a few $50 walmart gift cards their way. I’m not a member of any church or religion, but I’ve always loved that little charity program they put on.

Post # 22
Member
265 posts
Helper bee

My aunt passed away right after Halloween, so this will be our first Christmas without her.  I think that we’ll just try to keep up the traditions that she started like opening one gift on Christmas Eve, giving someone a gift in a Halloween bag, etc.

Post # 23
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

To be perfectly honest, the first five years after the death of my daughter are a complete blur. I know I was depressed and spent a year or two being totally pissed off at the world, maybe even the universe. Since her passion was animal rescue and welfare, I learned to concentrate my efforts to contribute to that cause. I do it in honor of her and it helps to give me purpose.

 

Holidays are still tough. I still cry at times and it has been twelve years now. Tonight I heard a Christmas song she loved and blubbered during the entire song. Eventually there comes a point of acceptance, but it really varies as to when it happens. I carry on because she would want me to and I try to live an useful life for the same reason.

 

Post # 24
Member
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I don’t know how we’re going to celebrate this year.  I lost my Dad on Oct 4th, and it’s still pretty raw.  Mom’s decided that we’re having a pizza for Christmas dinner, and I’m not stupid enough to argue with her.  I was already dragged unwilliingly to take communion once (at Dad’s memorial service), I’m not doing it again.  That and I’m pretty sure the Catholic Church doesn’t really like the idea of a divorced atheist taking communion.

Post # 25
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My mom died in Feb of 2011. That Christmas we were all still grieving pretty hard and we did a small Christmas – where we all picked a name out of a hat instead of buying presents for everyone. It was very depressing and we just needed time to refocus on the important things like spending time together and not presents.

 

Now that it has been a few years, we are back into the full swing of CELEBRATING christmas by spoiling eachother with lots of gifts. It took awhile to find the joy again in celebrating the holidays without our loved one. But, now that we DO enjoy things the way we used to, it feels comforting. Because it feels like old times, things like cookie decorating and going to zoolights. I hope that makes sense.

Post # 26
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

View original reply
@Cynderbug:  I was a bit slow on catching the update, but glad to hear their is one.

I can’t imagine losing someone around this time, that would be really tough.  I feel for everyone here who is dealing with that.  I have health stuff I’ve been dealing with and trying to fit some of that in right now is bad enough.

Post # 27
Member
2615 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

we put up alot of my mil’s christmas decoations. i am trying to bake a snow man cake from her baking pans for our christmas with his aunts from his mom’s side tomorrow… our main tree has 95% ornaments she had. we even have a tree on our porch that has a butterfly for each person we have lost since my husband and i have been together… there is 15 butterflies on it.. i am hoping we dont add any more to it….(averaging 5 deaths per year) is not a good average

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