(Closed) When’s the date, when’s the date.. uuggh! WE DONT KNOW!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Butrflyblu:  People mean well! They aren’t trying to offend.

Wait until random folk start asking for invites!

Post # 4
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We are having a 2 year engagement, so we were asked quite often for a long time when we were getting married.  We just told people that we were enjoying being engaged & didn’t want to rush through planning. 

Post # 5
203 posts
Helper bee

@Butrflyblu:  I can’t help but hear that little boy’s voice from Shrek Forever After…

“Do the roar…”

Maybe it is just the natural first question to ask someone who’s got engaged.  I wouldn’t stay mad at these people – hopefully, pretty soon you’ll have a date to talk about.

I’m fed up with the “oh, you’re not married or engaged yet” (with pitiful tilt of head) comments.  But I just smile and say “no, not yet” and change the subject!

Post # 6
11271 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

people are just excited for you but i do know how you feel.  we were engaged for nearly 2 years before we set the date.  you can imagine how many times i we heard, “so when’s the date?”.

Post # 7
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think its just a natural response. if you tell people who are engaged, after they congratulate you, thats one of the first things that comes to mind is “when is the wedding?”.  I dont think its rude at all.

Post # 8
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@mypinkshoes:  People have actually quit asking us “when’s the date” because they assume after such a long engagement that we went off and got married but didn’t invite anyone!  I really didn’t think a 2 year engagement was THAT long!

Post # 9
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I always ask people if they have a date set.  It’s because I’m excited for them. 

If you’re going to tell me you’re engaged I’m assuming you’d like me to be interested and perhaps ask a few questions? 

Post # 10
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

It’s a natural question to ask. Being “engaged” is generally understood as being in the process of planning a wedding. The date is a basic piece of information, and I think the question flows out without a lot of thought or actual intent. It’s like when you find out someone is pregnant and you ask when the baby is due. The simple announcement of these types of big life events implies that there is some sort of timeframe, and people are naturally curious about such things. I really would not read a lot into it or allow it to bother you. Remember, you cannot control other peoples actions, but you can control your emotional responses to them. Let this one roll right off without a second thought because it’s not worth your energy.

Post # 12
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

It is a natural response but as some other PP’s noted, just wait until you actually start planning. People will say A LOT worse things LOL.

Post # 13
6019 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

i just got engaged on sunday of last weekend. I cannot tell you how many people get all bug eyed and go “sooooo when is the biggggg day??//!!!!!”  I have to explain that for numerous reasons we will be waiting til next year to get married. There is always a look of confusiondisappointment on their faces. i have let it mostly roll off my back but I usually just say something like “oh geez we have not even gotten that far yet! its only been a week!” and laugh it off. I find that stops the conversation better than going into too much detail.

Post # 14
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Just so you know, it goes the other way too. My Fiance and I narrowed down our date choices to 3 weekends and checked with family and friends if they worked the week we got back (vacation proposal). We booked a church, reception venue, and priest the following week. Everyone was like “what’s the rush?” and “take your time and enjoy the engagement”. You cannot win. Ever. So just ignore them.

Post # 15
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Pollywog:  <—-this

At first, everyone wanted to know the date, then when I told them it was next May, they asked why I was even thinking about it so soon. Then I started getting the “Well, I better get an invitation!” comments (uh-I haven’t seen you in 3 years-you’re not invited) and then we decided to have a DW/elope this May and I’ve only told a few people (mostly classmates) and I’ve gotten the “oh wow, why so soon?” I asked one of my “best friends” to come and she immediately goes “omg, are you pregnant?!” and then “Well, why isn’t so and so invited?”

It’s ridiculous. lol

Post # 16
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

So glad I am not the only weirdo who thought of the ” Do the roar!” kid from Shrek reading this, haha.

People mean well, just smile and say you don’t know yet. 

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