(Closed) “When’s your wedding and am I coming?”

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Yikes!  I can say I know how you feel but we aren’t having an alma mater wedding.  We are just having a regular old wedding but have already had many people who weren’t even on our guest list say, “We can’t wait for the wedding we have already started looking at hotels!” or “Dude when do I get the invitation?” or the best “I already bought a dress for the wedding and can’t WAIT!  What are you guys having for options for meals?  I ask cuz I’m a vegetarian and just want to be sure!”  Wait…what…are you kidding me!  I state the usual, “We are very excited about the day as well but have not put together the whole guest list.  Unfortunately our venue is not that large and need to include family first which is huge!” I kind of laugh it off to them but it’s like seriously!  I would never!!

Post # 5
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’ve had at least 3 people say this ON FACEBOOK! They just posted on my wall “congrats on being engaged! I better be invited!” – and some of these people were only casual friends I haven’t spoken to in years. Manners much?

Post # 6
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t assume I am invited to anyone’s wedding, and especially if I am just a casual friend or acquaintance. And I certainly would never ask if I was invited. I figure that if I am invited I will receive an invitation. I think when the first words out of people’s mouth’s after “congrats!” are “am I invited?” it is very telling that they are just in it for the party/photo opps/meal & booze. UGH. I am extremely lucky that I haven’t had any of those comments (that I can remember) but I do think asking to be invited is very rude and tacky.

Post # 7
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I can relate. I’m the captain of my color guard for our university’s marching band, and all my guardies keep asking about invites (I just graduated in Dec). If I were to invite all of them, just from this year, it would be an extra 20 people! Yikes. I don’t know what we’re going to do, cause some of them are really good friends of mine.

Post # 8
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I had a girl who got me evicted say that since I then moved in with my boyfriend (now DH) she better be invited since she’s the reason we’re getting married. I was like, “Seriously? Are you stupid?” I feel you, you are handling it perfectly!

Post # 9
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

People should realize its a PRIVILEGE to witness someone’s marriage – not a RIGHT!  I have a friend who keeps asking me who out of our mutual friends are invited – I hate tellnig him because when he asks why someone ISN’T invited I feel like I have to explain myself when really, I shouldn’t!

Post # 10
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

So tacky! Ahhh! I hate that!

Miss Manners (love her!) would say to respond, “We are having a wedding with just family and close friends”.

Post # 11
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I love the ‘dont forget us!’, ‘dont forget to invite my parents’, ‘dont forget about my sisters and brothers’, ‘i got a cute dress and cant wait to bring my date’ (when they were only invited singly), ‘you have to invite your sister’s mother and father in law’, ‘can my son be your ring boy?’, ‘my daughter is sad because she’s not your flower girl’, ‘tell your cousin not to bring his girlfriend because I dont like her’, ‘if my dad doesnt go my brother will fill his place’, it can go on and on and on!!!!

Post # 12
Member
639 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

self-invites are really frustrating.  I hope you find a way to let them down gently – and I hope it doesn’t happen again!

Post # 13
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

my whole office (it’s small, only 7 of us) seems to think they are invited. in reality, i’m only inviting one person who is one of my best friends (and never mentions the wedding in front of people here). one of my bosses was like ‘i’m putting your wedding on my calendar!!” and im like ‘ummm..well its a saturday so you don’t need to do that..” and when they ask details about the wedding, i have specifically said, several times, that we are having a very small wedding (its not that small…110, but they dont know that), and that only family and VERY close friends are invited. they still aren’t getting the hint.

Post # 14
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@tammyt112 the “if my dad doesn’t go my brother will fill his place” one frustrated me the most. I had multiple family members say “Well since this person in my family can’t make it, my daughter is bringing her boyfriend (of 1 month who Darling Husband nor I had ever met!) Ugh, I remember wanting to rip my hair out over that!Tongue out

Post # 15
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I love the I invited or people asking questions like how many people are coming oh i havent got an invitation yet blah blah blah HELLO get a hint if i could i would invite everyone but truth be I cant money is money and not many people have alot of it.

Post # 16
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ugh what is wrong with people?!! If they are going to be that blatantly rude to try to invite themselves, I think you can be pretty blatant as well in your response. I second the “We are having a wedding with just family and close friends” answer. It’s pretty blunt, but I think it’s fair.

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