Post # 1
I come from a family that is not touchy-feely and are not huggers, though I know they will always have my back. Husband’s family are huggers. I dread family functions because of it. Recently he let them know, hey- no hugging. (Not actually sure how the convo went down). And the next event involved a huge awkward hug from dad and weird side bump from stepmom.
I want to enforce my boundary, without creating a lot of drama. My thought is to say something like “It’s great to see you again. Is it it ok if we don’t hug?” Who would say no to that? I am happy to see them, I just don’t need to press my body against them to show it!
Post # 2
SAME! I could have written that. My family does not hug. My husband’s family takes it personally when I don’t hug them, and I get anxiety before we see them because of it! Their hugging is so over the top. So at every dinner, there’s about 22 people. We have to hug every single one! We will be in a crowded restaurant and everyone is already sitting, and we are expected to go around and awkwardly bend over to hug everyone who is already sitting at the table. It’s horrid. Hugs are required when we leave as well.
Post # 3
🙋♀️ I HATE hugs unless from my kids or my Darling Husband. I dont understand why anyone wants to press their body up against another person. It’s the most bizarre thing. DHs family are huggers too and it’s the same as PP described. We are expected to hug every single person when we arrive AND when we leave.
I tried to say something one time and they said “if you’re going to be in this family you’ve gotta hug.” So I just grit my teeth and bear it. Yuck.
I have a neighbor that has to hug me whenever she sees me and I have an internal anxiety attack everytime. She smells like potpourri and a gallon of perfume, so I can’t get the stink off me for the rest of the day.
Post # 4
I hate hugging! My family doesn’t hug either but DH’s family hugs when greeting and saying goodbye. It’s painfully awkward. His brother and I fist bump instead, lol.
Post # 5
Happy to know I am not the only one! In the US it just seems to me you are judged rude if you do not want to hug. Which is so wrong. It is rude to impose yourself on someone without consent.
Post # 6
All my coworkers are super huggy. I try to politely avoid it but can only do so much haha. They all hugged me after finding out we were engaged and the other day one of them had been traveling for a few weeks and was really excited to see me for some reason and hugged me seemingly out of no where. I was not prepared so I just froze and didn’t even move my arms enough to attempt to hug her back.
Post # 7
Non-hugger +1! Aussie here. People try to hug or kiss me on the cheek after meeting me like once or twice. Why can’t they treat me like they treat men, and just shake my hand? 🙁 The only person I want to hug is my fiance. I don’t even hug my brother, whom I’m very close to.
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise
vegas62218 : not a hugger. When I see someone coming in for a hug I readr out and grab their hands for a squeeze. It’s still affectionate–ish, but prevents the hug from actually being completed.
I’ve never had anyone push the issue, but sometimes if I get a weird look, I’ll claim I’m getting over a nasty cold, or I have a bad sunburn, based on the season.
After this happens once or twice, they usually settle for a pat on the shoulder, next time.
Post # 9
Aussie here (Originally from Canada)! I am fine with it with close friends and family. Love a hug with my husband. Not ok when I’ve just been introduced to someone, like a work colleague of my husband’s and after some small talk there is that awkward goodbye where everyone goes for the hand shake from the huy and the hug/kiss on cheek from the girl. I have put myself in semi awkward situations where I have stuck my hand out to get a handshake instead! I don’t know why a hand shake would be weird…?
Post # 10
I have put myself in semi awkward situations where I have stuck my hand out to get a handshake instead! I don’t know why a hand shake would be weird…?
Bunnyang : YES! Happened to me too. I was the only woman in the lineup and they gave every man a handshake and me a kiss on the cheek. WHY!
Post # 11
This is me. I don’t mind hugs from my hubby or
kids but anyone else is a no. I think I somehow send off “no hug vibes” because people usually get the hint that I’m just not that into them. Lol! I will hug family or close friends if it’s been awhile since I’ve seen them but I can’t do the everyday/everytime thing. It’s just too much. I like my space.
Post # 12
My family are not huggers in the slightest – maybe when we’ve been in another country for half the year but that’s it!
I would happily hug my husband and daughter all day long. I do have some friends who I know are huggers so in these situations I’m fairly well prepared but I definitely never initiate hugs.
My ILs aren’t overly huggy people – I think it mainly comes from my SIL so if she’s around we all seem to hug.
Yesterday myself, husband and daughter (nearly 3) got together with DHs uncle, his wife and their daughter (5) for a day out as they were around on holiday. At the end there was no hugging – just a simple goodbye – bliss!