Post # 1
I have been bawling for the last 2 days. Last night was the most akward time. I was sitting by my future father in law, my fiance and my future sister in law/matron of honor at a basketball game and the tears just started coming. I dont feel like any of his family members even want us to get married. No one talks about the wedding unless they want to complain about something even my Maid/Matron of Honor. It’s driving me insane! I feel so alone. I hate every second of this because I just want to celebrate and get excited about the wedding plans and I cant with anyone because NO ONE cares. I feel so bad because I’m constantly complaining to my fiance and my mom but I dont know what else to do. I’m literally losing my mind. I just want this nightmare to be over. I just want to be happy. I just want to smile!
It was my mistake to ask his sister to be my matron of honor. We got along at the time. We talked alot and we even started planning together but now she has just dropped off the face of the earth. I email her and text her and she never replies. What do I do? I know I cant fire her but I’m absolutely miserable. I dont even know if I will get a bachelorette party or bridal shower. I dont even know if she’ll show up at this point.
Is this ever going to get any better? We’ve been engaged for 7 months and we have 4 to go. Am I just being craz
Post # 3
I’m sorry it has been hard for you. Is there any reason why you think his family doesn’t want you two to get married? Maybe they just don’t known anything about wedding planning so they don’t know what to say to you. Not everyone has a Maid/Matron of Honor that is involved in wedding planning. I didn’t have one that was and I didn’t have a bridal shower or a bachelorette party. Yes, it was sad and I didn’t like it but the whole point of getting married is getting married to the love of your life. The rest of the stuff just isn’t important in the end!
Post # 4
with the stress of planning and the lack of support youre feeling it’s no wonder you feel like crying. i would have a talk face to face with you Maid/Matron of Honor and ask her why she isnt returning your texts, maybe even confront her about her family’s feelings on the wedding. getting your feelings out should help you to feel better. also surround yourself with positive people and think positive thoughs, after all you are getting married to the love of your life!
Post # 5
Seriously girl, I feel your pain. I can kind of relate. My brothers could care less about my wedding and most likely will not attend my wedding because I’m planning to get married in Florida and apparently that’s not convenient for them. My matron of honor just told me a week ago that I’m self-centered (from something that happened last year, I didn’t give her much attention at a New Year’s party apparently and she’s stll bitter), and my maid of honor (yes I have one of those too) is getting married a few months after me (we had always said we would be in eachother’s weddings) and she told me that I’m not in hers!!!
Sooo, this is exactly why people elope!!!! You have to hold those who care close to you and remember that no matter what, it is your day!!!! Make it perfect for you and your fiance and remember that a wedding is just one day in other people’s lives. It’s a huge deal for you and your future husband and it should be!!! BUT, unfortunately, and I’ve found out the hard way too, not many others will ever really feel the excitement that you do. It’s in your hands to make it what you want, and not let others ruin this awesome day!!!!
Post # 6
It can be really hard to have family members who don’t seem to care about your wedding. Try not to have too high expectations – when I started planning, I didn’t expect anyone to be involved or interested except my fiance and me. Our families really don’t ask about it much or offer to help, but it’s not their wedding, so why should they be obligated to? Some families do get very involved in their kids’ weddings, but many don’t, especially families of the groom. And most parents have some feelings of regret about their kids getting married, so don’t think this is something personal to you. As long as you and your Fiance are excited and involved, that’s all you need to be completely happy!
My Maid/Matron of Honor lives in Hong Kong and I won’t be surprised if she has zero involvement in the planning. But it’s still going to be an amazing wedding. You don’t need her to be involved to be happy and to plan a great celebration.
Post # 7
Thanks everyone. My fiance and I duked it out for five minutes. It got pretty intense after I posted this but then all of a sudden we just looked at each other and it dawned on me. This isn’t about the wedding. My Maid/Matron of Honor just had a baby 9 months ago so she’s been handling raising a baby and a 4 year old, teaching, going to all her husbands football and basketball games (he’s the head coach) and all the really important things are already planned so she probably doesn’t think she needs to be involved right now.
I’m very stressed because I’m going to nursing school, my EMT finals are here and the fact that things are getting closer and closer each day are making me panic. I needed this from you guys. Thanks for your support and sharing your experiences. Happy Holidays to each and every one of you!
Post # 8
It does sound like your Maid/Matron of Honor has a lot of things going on! And honestly a lot of brides don’t require much from their Maid/Matron of Honor anymore. A lot of girls plan things on their own and are happy if the Maid/Matron of Honor offers to help but doesn’t require them to help. I didn’t have much help from mine since I was going with my friend but she had to cancel last minute and I ended up with my SIL as my Maid/Matron of Honor.
And it sounds like you are pretty busy with school yourself! It’s only 4 months left and then you will be married (but sadly the stress doesn’t go away after the wedding!).
I hope you have a great holiday and can relax a bit!
Post # 9
I agree that you really just have to keep remembering that the wedding is all about you and your Fiance. Neither mine or his parents really care much about the wedding. Well, I mean I don’t know if it’s that they don’t care. But they never ask about plans, aren’t really involved at all. Basically, they are all just going to show up. It’s not that they don’t want us to get married – I think they are really just indifferent.
This personally doesn’t bother me, but I can see how it might bother others. Keep your head up