Where are you from and what is the norm?

posted 2 years ago in Intercultural
Post # 2
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

cosimaskye :  Hey there! I am a fellow Melbournite too!! Nice to finally meet someone from this neck of the woods.

My understanding is that Bridal Showers and Hen’s Nights are separate. The Shower is more inclusive of all members of the Bride’s family/friends/relos, whereas the Hen’s can be more geared towards the “younger” people, or a small cluster of the Bride’s closest to do something fun… or relaxing… or grand! Either way, one last “hurrah!” ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Haha, oh they’re golden ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ I suppose it depends on the person – I’ve not been to many, but the ones that I have been to have been separate days! There is no normality here haha!

Post # 5
9718 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’m from Idaho, a very religious town in Idaho so this probably doesn’t apply to the whole state. Most of my friends’ weddings were dry, no dancing, cake and punch receptions. It’s common to invite people not invited to the wedding to pre-wedding parties. Ceremonies are small and private with large receptions (my best friend had 50ish people at the ceremony and invited 300 to the reception) and multiple receptions are common. Showers are common, but bachelorettes aren’t as common. 

I think I had a fairly typical American wedding – evening reception, open bar, dancing, dinner. All guests were invited to the ceremony and recetion. I didn’t have any pre-wedding parties. None of my friends had been to a wedding like mine before but all seemed to have a good time!

Post # 7
204 posts
Helper bee

Hiya Bee!! I’m about an hour out of Melbourne in regional Vic! I never see any bees close to where I am!

Agree with you, I haven’t ever attended or heard of anyone having a bridal shower, only hens days which never include presents!

I’m not sure if it’s just me, but I don’t think ‘first looks’ are big here?

Post # 8
2858 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

cosimaskye :  Southern Indiana bee! 

We go a lot more casual down here. The average cost of a wedding in my state is around $19K but I would say down south it’s more like $5-8K, $10K if someone goes to the extreme. I grew up in a small farming/Amish community so weddings are generally town wide events. Cake and punch receptions are the norm and “dress jeans” are completely acceptable wedding attire. My wedding will take place in a restored ballroom of a historic government building but my Fiance and his groomsmen will still be wearing jeans. Open bar doesn’t exist here lol. There are usually a couple of kegs and anything else is BYOB. We will have kegged beer and wine available but that is not the norm, just something I picked up after joining the bee and seeing bride after bride ridiculed for her lack of alcoholic options ๐Ÿ˜‚

Post # 9
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2017


Sydney, Australia here. I have been to seperate bridal showers/kitchen teas and hens nights. The biggest difference I feel is that open bars are the norm. My Irish husband and his family said that this is not what happens in Ireland. They have cash bars instead. Open bars are only for wealthy families apparently. That said, Australian receptions only go for approx 5hrs finishing at 10/11pm, whereas Irish ones go long into the night. They also don’t do bonbonieres according to my hubby, but I don’t know if that’s really true for everyone. The biggest difference I feel between Australian weddings and American weddings are the wishing wells. I have never, ever given a boxed present as a gift to a wedding, and don’t really ever want to.

Post # 10
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

Hey! I’m from Malaysia!

Over here, we have Hen’s nights but we don’t exactly have a Bridal Shower. Maybe just collectively purchase a lingerie for the bride but that’s about it.

Weddings run from RM40,000-RM100,000 depending on how grand it is. I’ve been to a wedding that cost RM250,000 too, but of cos the bride and groom took personal loans to pay for it. 

Not many people here do a small wedding, it usually goes up to a minimum of 100 people at least. 

It’s crazy expensive here and I am not looking forward to paying for it.. Hahaha!

Post # 11
589 posts
Busy bee

I’m from the UK but living in Spain with my Spanish partner. We plan to marry in Spain so I will say some Soanish traditions. 

It’s not traditional to wear an engagement ring, now more people have them due to American films!! But they’re no where near as expensive as the UK/US. The engagement ring (if you have one) is worn on the left hand BUT the wedding band is worn on the right. 

You don’t take your partner’s last night. You keep your own last name. Then when you have a baby they take their dad’s first surname and their mum’s first surname (all spaniards therefore have 2 surnames). 

There is no shower, only hen/stag parties (bachelor/bachelorette parties for the non British people). 

A usual wedding gift is money which quite often covers that guests part of the wedding (and maybe more)….most weddings I have been to over here me and my partner hand over 300 euros in cash in an envelope with our names on the envelope. No card or anything inside. 

There are usual a lot of guests at the wedding. As the guests are paying a lot of money the bride and groom have the thought of ‘the more the merrier’. 200+ is not uncommon. 

The dresses some of the guests wear…..think of your prom when you were 16….that’s the type of dresses you will see.  

Open bar is the norm (most venues me and partner have looked around they will tell us a price per guest and in that price it includes the food and the open bar….as the guests are paying they would be pissed off if there was no open bar).

The weddings usually go on until around 5am in the morning.

The weddings are very very loud and get a bit crazy. It isn’t a calm and romantic affair

soooooo, we have all this to think about and how to do it when 50% of the guests will be British. Ekkk 

Post # 12
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I’m in the UK

1. Bridal showers are not the norm here

2. Weddings are usually a day long affair with ceremony, canapes, sit down meal, dancing and snacks

3. Open bars are not the norm but are becoming more popular

4.  Bride pays for all bridesmaid expenses (I can’t get my head around the US way of BMs paying- so weird)

5. Engagement rings are traditionally a lot smaller and much less flashy in style.  That said, I do see many more halos and pave bands these days.

6. Wedding size and spend varies a lot, but I would guess at average size being 100 guests and average spend around £30,000

7.  Gift lists are more traditional with items to set the couple up in their new life like cutlery etc! However often couples now set up honeymoon contribution websites instead.

Post # 13
958 posts
Busy bee

I’m from Malaysia and Fiance is from UK. Norms of both locations similar to what described by annann91 and   londonbeeee. We have decided we shall break traditions, because.. why not?

Proposal – traditional. I received a beautiful e-ring from my beloved.

Bridal shower rather than hen’s do for me, since I’m not big on drinking and going out. If my girl friends got in the night before my wedding ceremony, I might ask them out for nice dinner.

We’ll register our marriage in the register office, have a Catholic ceremony in my college chapel (we’re at Cambridge so it’s normal to desire to have our weddings in the college chapels, though I’m from a more modern college), and an after mass refreshments of tea and cakes. No sit-down reception but our close family members will join us for informal dinner. We do hope to keep to £5000 budget. We shall see. Dress itself costs a bomb already. I’m tempted not to have any Bridesmaid or Best Man at all…

We probably will have tea ceremony and wedding banquet in Malaysia at some point.

Post # 15
1291 posts
Bumble bee

Scandinavian here

– average cost of a wedding is $8000 (checked online ๐Ÿ˜€)

– 100 people is a big wedding and that’s quite the norm

– open bar and buffet dinner. no cockail hours.

– we have bachelorette parties but no bridal showers

– wedding celebrations last till 2am

– 1-2 Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man

– man proposes without a ring and bride to be chooses her own ring. engagement ring usually plain and the wedding ring is the one with a rock  (usually not too big)

– no wedding registries. bank details put in invitation and guests make bank transfers straight to account

– no save the  dates  sent. rsvp is done via text to the couple if you are going to participate 

– guests don’t get a +1. people invited get their invites so no one can bring a random with them


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