Where are you from and what is the norm?

posted 2 years ago in Intercultural
Post # 31
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee

Hi bees! I’m from New Jersey, less than an hour out of NYC. The average cost of a wedding in the central and northern parts of the  state is $48,000.00 USD. We tend to have flashier weddings with all the bells and whistles. Premium open bar is standard here as well as plated dinners with several courses. We’re having a traditional Catholic ceremony, followed by a reception for 150 guests, with a 5 course plated dinner, and full top shelf open bar.

Bachelorette/Bachelor parties are typically long getaway weekends and completely separate from the bridal shower. Bridal shower gifts are separate from wedding gifts. Here in the US, bridesmaids pay their own way meaning, dress, hair, makeup, etc. but the bride usually gifts any jewelry or accessories to them as thanks for being part of her day. Groomsmen also pay for their own tuxes, shoes, etc.

Here, entertainers are common such as a violinist or harpist. They play during cocktail hour or perform during dinner but wedding bands are super uncommon, in my opinion, though not entirely unheard of. I’ve personally never attended a wedding that had a band instead of a DJ. 

The thought of jeans at a wedding literally makes me cringe!!! I just cannot fathom the idea of denim plaguing my wedding photos. I would die! I saw a picture of a bride wearing a denim jacket with her dress and my brain almost malfunctioned.  Nothing against the country brides, it’s just not something we do in the NY metro area.

That’s all I can think of. Any other brides in the NY metro area with different experiences, I’d love to hear! Loving this thread!

Post # 32
Member
4097 posts
Honey bee

cosimaskye :  Southern California bee here. So these are very typical of weddings & wedding related events in my family & friends:

  • Bachelorette is thrown by friends (anywhere between a month before to the week of wedding)
  • Bridal shower is thrown by family members (usually 1-2 months before wedding)
  • Most of my married friends had a Catholic Church wedding followed by a standard hotel reception from popular chain hotels-Marriott, Sheraton, Hilton, etc.
  • Guests number between 125-150 on average
  • Usually, there are large bridal parties (at least 8-10 people and up) and the couple like to rent party buses from church then back to the hotel for reception
  • Average wedding cost is around $30K not including rings & honeymoon
  • Contrary to what I have read here, every single wedding I have been to still has favors and do the bouquet/garter toss; and pretty much everyone hires a videographer while about half the brides at this website say they don‘T want one/didn’t have one.
  • Never saw a band play at the reception. Always a DJ.
  • Cash bar is the norm. The only open bar I have been to are weddings in Europe.
  • Wedding food in my area will probably be underwhelming for Northeast brides. What I mean is our receptions don’t typically serve as much food compared to the Northeast. Cocktail hour is usually 4 types of passed appetizers. Dinner is usually a 3 course plated meal (because it’s cheaper than a buffet)-salad for starters, main entree and wedding cake (no other dessert is served besides this)
  • And this will be surprising to some but nearly all weddings end here at midnight. My European SO still can’t get over this because he is used to weddings extending to the wee morning hours.
  • For wedding presents, guests either give cash in envelopes or bring a boxed gift from the registry on the actual wedding day. Both are acceptable.
  • Most couples I know go somewhere in Europe for their honeymoon-probably tired of the beach scene here already LOL
  • Most popular wedding months are June & September 
Post # 33
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

In UK/Ireland 

1. I cover costs for bridesmaids attire. 

2. Usually few bridesmaids- but I’ve heard of some having 7.

3. Wedding starts at 12.30/1.30 and the night may finish around 1am.

4. Hen dos are common but without expectation of presents. The guys have stag dos and are usually subject to more torment- at the end of night the groom is pelted with eggs and other disgusting things.

5. Attire for guests – most anything goes… I’ve seen white etc but it’s obvious who the bride is so I see no problem. Fascinators are common rather than hats.

Post # 34
Member
590 posts
Busy bee

I just remembered another one…a bridal party is not a thing in Spanish weddings….

the groom gets walked down the aisle with his mum (most Spanish men are mummy boys πŸ˜‰ )….then the groom waits at the end….and then the bride walks down with her dad (the groom won’t have seen the bride beforehand). There are no bridesmaids, maid of honors, groomsmen or a best man. I want bridesmaid at my wedding and all my SO’s friends are super excited asking if it’ll be like in all the movies where they wear the same dress….haha

Post # 35
Member
574 posts
Busy bee

scissorspaperrock :  Irish bee here we do have boutonnière in Ireland we just call them buttonholes. 

This is such a good thread, love hearing the cultural differences

Post # 36
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

This is the best thread ever…I urge Weddingbee to put this up as a sticky so everyone can read it in the future…It would help people to understand that we are from different backgrounds, cultures and regions. Therefore, our definitions of etiquette and the norm will be different. This post even educated me on a lot of different cultures pertaining to weddings that I was unaware of. I love it! Please make this thread a sticky. I am sure the rest of the Bees agree. 

Post # 37
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Ottawa, Canada Bee here.

– Bridesmaids typically pay for their dress, shoes, hair and makeup. Sometimes a bride will gift hair and/or makeup but its usually just jewelry for the day of. (I did hair and jewelry)

-groomsmen pay for their own suits (my SO paid for the deposit)

-buffet and plated dinner are both common (we did plated)

-cash bar (ontario is a no fun province and liquor prices and regulations are brutal so we did cash bar but served wine and beer during dinner which is the norm)

-stag and doe’s are pretty common (especially in northern Ontario where I’m originally from) and some people see it as a money grab to pay for the couples wedding but it’s usually just a fun rowdy party (we didn’t have one mainly because I was too lazy to plan one haha)

-bachelorette and bachelor parties can be a day/evening/weekend event. (Mine was a local day thing and my SO had a long weekend away)

-wedding showers are common and even men have been invited (we didn’ have one) 

-weddings go till 12-2:30am and usually the bride and groom stay till the end (we stayed till 2)

-weddings are usually child free other than close family members (only my nieces and sons were invited)

-I would say price of weddings range from $20,000-$30,000 CAD but I’ve been so weddings that cost as little as $7000 and as much as $60,000 (Mine cost $27,000ish and I had 120 guests)

Post # 38
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

This is a really neat thread!

I am from Texas and I actually wound up having two bridal showers and a bachelorette party. The first shower was hosted by my aunt at her home and was a tea party theme (it was so freakin’ cute!). The second shower was held by the ladies at my husband’s church (I now attend this church) because we lived 5 hours apart and they wanted to welcome me into the family. It was so very sweet! 
My bachelorette party happened the week before the wedding. My Maid/Matron of Honor planned it for just my bridesmaids and I. She planned it from Australia and one of my BMs had to fly in from CA. Fortuntately, it was right around Christmas, so they were going to be in town anyway. We went to do an escape room, then stayed in a nice Airbnb in Dallas, went bar hopping and to my favorite restaurant in Dallas (morroccan food). 
What was really neat was the day before the wedding, we had to set up the decorations at the reception venue and my husband’s family came to help. They are from out of state (up north) and they threw a mini shower with presents for me while we were there. 
I invited over 200 people to the wedding, but I knew that since it was a Wednesday morning, not everyone would be able to come — plus, all of his family was from out of state. However, since it was the Wednesday after Christmas, a lot of people were off of work and school. We had about 140 people attend and the whole thing cost around 14k. I did A LOT of bargain hunting. πŸ˜€ In 13 days, it will be our 1st anniversary!

Post # 39
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

suziq23 :  That is one of the most beautiful venues I have ever seen in my life. Gorgeous pictures as well. I love it.

Post # 40
Member
3741 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

DaniGirl03 :  Hey there fellow Saskatchewanian! 

I’m also from Saskatchewan, Canada. I agee with everything stated by my province-mate, just to add:

– Small-town weddings are substantially less expensive and things are usually more low-key (decor, food, venue). I would guess around $10K
-Buffet or plated dinners are both the norm, but i’ve seen way more buffet.
-Toonie bars are by far the most common (as opposed to open bar, have only seen invites for one open bar in my 33 years)
-Wedding showers are hosted by a female family member with other female family members & bridal party helping. Co-ed showers are becoming more popular but still not terribly common
– Bachelorette/Bachelor parties are usually hosted by bridal party. 
– Showers and bachelorette parties are usually on the same day or within the same weekend if lots of attendees are travelling. Otherwise its not uncommon to have them on separate days
-Bridesmaids & Groomsmen cover their own expenses,  the couple may gift the hair or makeup but its not expected.
-Midnight lunch is mandatory due to liquor laws. It’s usually buns, meat, cheese & pickes but people are starting to jazz it up a bit with taco bars and food trucks.
-Usually gifts are a mix of cash and boxed gifts. 
-When walking through the city in your wedding attire, passing vehicles will honk and shout congratuations as they go which I think is really fun!

Post # 41
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Coco Brown Walker :  Thank you so much! Because we had our wedding on a weekday, the venue plus the linens and staff was only $650! The food there was absolutely amazing, as well. It’s incredible how a little digging around can save you literally thousands of dollars.

Post # 42
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

suziq23 :  surprised That’s it? Where is this place? OMG…It’s beautiful…

Post # 43
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Coco Brown Walker :  The reception venue is called The Ashton Depot and it is in downtown Fort Worth, TX. The food and bev minimum makes up for the small fee for everything else…but it was still an incredible deal. My whole wedding was around 14k and I think the reception venue and food cost around 7k or 8k. I can’t quite remember. πŸ˜€ The ceremony site was the Marty Leonard Chapel and that was only $350 and all of it went to the Marty Leonard Foundation, which helps orphans. I didn’t actually know that until right before the wedding. It was pretty awesome. πŸ™‚

Post # 44
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

suziq23 :  That is absolutely a fantastic deal…I almost want to change my mind about an elopement….lol….almost!! It is absolutely gorgeous…The photographer did a phenomenal job and you guys look magnificent together. Happy anniversary and a lifetime more to come….Breath taking wedding indeed…

Post # 45
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Coco Brown Walker :  Thank you so much! And congratulations on your elopement! I’m sure that will be very exciting πŸ™‚ I loved our photographer, too. If you’re in the DFW area, I highly recommend Convey Studios. They may even travel, I’m not sure. But for 8 hours of coverage and full rights to the photos, it was right around 2k, which I thought was a fantastic deal. πŸ™‚ I’m all about finding good deals on things, so I like sharing that with people. haha All the best to you!!

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