Where are you from and what is the norm?

posted 2 years ago in Intercultural
Post # 46
Member
1773 posts
Buzzing bee

Charliejeorge :  Yey, I didn’t know there was anyone else from Saskatchewan on here. So cool!

Post # 47
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

suziq23 :  Thank you so much…I plan to make our elopement exciting as well…lol…I am not in that area and doubt they would travel all the way to me for 2 hours of photography. However, if I am sure that some bees from that area can benefit from such a fabulous photographer…They were amazing 🙂

Post # 48
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee

cosimaskye :  hi there! I’m from Sydney. I’ve been to many baby showers but never a bridal shower. Hens parties are becoming very extravagant and over the top IMO. I’m tempted to not even have one xo

Post # 49
Member
3713 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

DaniGirl03 :  There is one more that I know of actaully! I found her a couple years ago when she had mentioned a bus strike in our particular city (unless that was you ha ha)

Post # 50
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

dublingirl :  A bonbonniere is what Americans call wedding favors. Its a small gift to the guests like sugared almonds, cookies, a  little jar of jam etc.

Post # 51
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

I’m from Greece and we have so many unique wedding traditions!

– If you want to be traditional, you don’t do a proposal. The couple chooses the ring and the engagement takes place during the engagement party. The rest of the family shower both bride and groom with presents, mostly jewelry. Bride’s family hosts the party.

– An engagement could last anywhere from 1 to 4 years. We almost never start planning right after the engagement. Couples usually use this time to buy/build a house, get a permanent job, save money etc. 

– We have two choices for the ceremony: 1. Civil ceremony at the Town Hall and mostly 2. Religious ceremony at the church. The second one is the most common.

– Our best men and maids of honor are called “koumbari” and they have a role during the ceremony. They connect the couple with the wedding bands and the wedding “crowns”. I’ve done it before and its very touching because you feel like you play a big part in their union.

– We do not have bridal showers but we have a celebration 3 days before the wedding. We visit the couple’s home to make their bed with white sheets so that they sleep in them on their wedding night. It’s a very old tradition that not many people like doing nowadays because it used to symbolize the purity of the bride. Now we do it just for fun. It’s another excuse to eat drink and laugh before the wedding. 

– If the bride’s home is close to the church then she chooses to go by foot. This usually happens in villages where you can actually stop all the cars from moving just for a few minutes. All of the bride’s guests walk behind her with traditional music playing.

– In my area 150 to 200 guests is the norm. I would say that most people spend around 10.000 euros for all the wedding celebrations.

 

Post # 52
Member
1365 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

Chr_23 :  That’s so interesting! I’m Indian-American from Chicago area and there is something similar to a parade concept of walking to the ceremony called a baraat. Except in Indian culture, it’s the groom’s family and friends who walk “to” the bride’s side, where the bride’s side will welcome them. We also have something similar to the bedsheet tradition. Nice to find similarities between cultures! I wish they had shown the walking part in the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, haha, it would have been such a cool shot and way of showing Tula’s large family!

Post # 53
Member
1365 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

I’m Indian-American from Chicagoland. Brown weddings are usually large (250-500 people), and usually in banquet halls. Hindu weddings are very different from the traditional Christian-American or non-denomenational wedding, but we’ve incorporated American aspects into it too. Some highlights:

  • There is usually a processional and a bridal party nowadays, but traditionally there isn’t.
  • Ceremonies are long – 1-2 hours usually. That’s why you won’t find as many outdoor Indo-American weddings.
  • They are usually more than one day, with pre-wedding events taking place in the 2-3 days preceeding the wedding day.
  • Reception is usually standard – dinner (usually buffet if Indian food) followed by dancing and the whole speech-toast-video/slideshow-first dance program. An addition is that a few choregraphed group dances from cousins and friends are a big thing at receptions.
  • There’s no such thing as writing your own vows – At least in Hindu ceremonies, the vows are standard and in Sanskrit, performed by the priest. Nowadays, though, usually people give out programs that explain the customs and the priest translates some parts of the ceremony so people stay engaged.
  • Some Indian weddings (both Hindu and Muslim) may be more likely to dry, with no alcohol due to cultural or religious reasons. A lot aren’t though, but it’s not uncommon to have a dry reception.
  • Oh, best part – the bride gets 2 dresses! One traditional outfit (usually red if Hindu wedding) for the ceremony and one more modern fusion outfit (usually a poofy gown style) for the reception.
  • Lastly, the biggest difference is the wedding planning process itself. Weddings in Indian culture are NOT about the actual bride and groom so much as they are about two families merging together. So it’s quite common for parents to pay a majority of the wedding costs, as large weddings can be quite expensive and the couple might not have that much savings. On the downside though, this means there is usually a lot of family drama about what customs to follow and which ones to drop, and a lot of cultural issues between the bride/groom and their parents about who makes decisions and how much to incorporate American traditions.
  • Friends are not usually that involved in weddings – it’s all about family for almost everything other than if you wish to have a bridal party. Siblings play a part in the ceremony for a Hindu wedding.
  • In some sub-cultures, there are engagement parties and showers, but they’re usually more cultural/religious than social.

Cool thread! It was fun to read everyones’ posts. Large Aussie crowd!

Post # 55
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I am from the United States, southern West Virginia. 

While weddings can widely vary throughout the state, I would say that it is more common in this area to have a small ‘cake and punch’ reception. Venues may be a community center, church or public park. Potluck dinners, no bar and homemade desserts can be found at many weddings. Often family and friends will come together to cater and organize the wedding. My parents, and my fiancé’s parents both had cake and punch receptions in the church fellowship hall. Although, in many areas you will find that past generations spent much less money on weddings than the current generation – not just in the south.

Bridal showers are typically at the brides church or home. Bachelorette or bachelor parties are less common but some couples choose to have them. The past bachelorette parties that I attended were at a Mexican restaurant and the bride’s home.  From what I can tell it’s still a little frowned upon to ask for money at a shower, but we are going to do it anyways due to the fact that we have lived together for years and do not need household items. We do plan on informing our guests that it will go towards our house- so maybe it will feel as though they are giving a traditional gift. Wish us luck! Haha

I will be having a brief late afternoon ceremony and reception with cake and a champagne toast, no dinner or alcohol. The whole wedding will be 2-3 hours long. My sisters will be doing my hair and makeup (one of my sisters is a hairdresser) and we will have a jazz quartet (my fiancé’s friends). This works because it gives us the opportunity to save for our home as we are paying for the wedding ourselves. Plus I like that it will be a nod to the classic simple southern wedding.

Thanks for sharing everyone! This is an interesting post to read!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 56
Member
8266 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

happybridetobe1988 :  

you don’t take your partner’s last night. You keep your own last name. Then when you have a baby they take their dad’s first surname and their mum’s first surname (all spaniards therefore have 2 surnames).” 

Just wanted to say I’ve always though what  a great cultural tradition this is. Surprising too, as yuu don’t immediately  think of Spain as being a bastion of feminism – Spanish women didn’t get the vote  till  1940 or something did they? 

Tradition wise, I am English by birth and upbringing  but Australian  for the last  many years.  My first (English)  wedding was typical – church ceremony, very formal lunch  reception ,   morning suits for men, long, rather modest   dresses for bride and bms  , hats for women guests , the usual . My parents paid for it all all, also usual.

  My Australian one , well, we paid  for it , very hippyish, registry  office, went to  the beach afterwards ….plain gold dolphin themed ( lol) wedding band, no  engagement ring. I don’t know if it was typical ,more just  what our crowd did I think. I’m sure there  were many many formal and expensive weddings going on,   just we didn’t know anyone  who had one..! 

Nowadays I see many flash rings , and wedding rings  with stones  all round that I still think of as ‘eternity’ rings and weddings seem to cost a phenomenal  amount and a day long  photographer  at least , usually a videographer,  seems to be de rigeur. I don’t think  ‘first  looks’ are a thing though .  (For  my first  wedding it would have been unthinkable , and for the second  we were already living together adn I wore a dress I already had,  so a bit de trop even if it had been a thing. 

idk why I keep dropping into French ……

 

Post # 57
Member
593 posts
Busy bee

elderbee :  by night I meant to say ‘name’ :-p

Yes I love this tradition. It’s funny because my SO’s friends see changing your name as an awful thing for the woman to do and her rights. They were so surprised when I told them that many woman want to do it and can’t wait. Hahaha. 

I love the sound of that hippy wedding you went to! I’m all for non traditional weddings. They are the weddings I remember. 

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