Post # 1
So… to keep costs down, we’re going to start trimming the guest list. So bees, where did you draw the line on the guest list? Fewer friends, less distant family? No kids? I’m really really afraid of offending people, especially unmarried out of town cousins (in terms of inviting them with a plus one).
Post # 3
We eliminated kids. I hated doing this but it shaved 70 heads from our reception… I don’t think most will mind, they know so far in advance that having a night out will be a treat!
Post # 4
We eliminated friends and family that we have not had contact with for a year or more. Sounds kinda harsh but I figured a.) these people probably won’t want to spend money to attend our Destination Wedding and b.) if we don’t care enough to stay in touch within a year then they have no business attending what is one of the most important and intimate affairs in my life.
Post # 5
We did not invite kids under high school age, we did not invite cousin’s kids (2nd cousins) even if they were in high school. I also cut out the friends that we haven’t talked to or associated with in at least the previous 9-12 months. I also was very adamant that anyone that my parents or his mom wanted invited we HAD to know personally. This wasn’t a problem for my mom, because she knew my stance on that issue. His mom, had to be told several times that she was not inviting people that she works with that we have never met and even if we had met them before they still were not being invited because we do not have a relationship with any of them. We invited ALL single guests over the age of 18 with a “plus 1”. I should add that we paid for the entire wedding.
Post # 6
I choose ‘E’….all of the above. Including kids would add a litte over 30 more to our guest list. Not to mention that kids can be distruptive and distracting by being loud and running around and I think they would be board overall. Cutting random relatives is close to another 30-40 off the list. We are picking and choosing who gets a plus one since some friends are fine coming on their own and others might get upset to not have a plus one.
Post # 7
I cut it down to mom, siblings, grand mother. I rarely have seen the rest of my family, and I don’t care, unfortunately. I only want the closest family and friends that mean something to me significantly than a 100+ guest reception.
Post # 8
We eliminated most kids (allowed kids for close family) and we really cut down on the plus ones. If we’d never met someone’s SO and they weren’t engaged or married, we didn’t invite them–we only invited SOs if we see both of them socially. The only thing about this is that you have to be prepared for at least one person to either complain about it, assume their SO is invited, or ask you directly if they can bring their SO. Can you tell it drives me a little crazy? 🙂 My parents decided to draw the line at not inviting the grown children of their friends, cousins, etc.
Post # 9
No kids! Except for my 3 young first cousins (we invited all of FI’s first cousins, whom are all adults, so we couldn’t exclude mine. My aunt would have had a hissy fit and brought them anyway). We also cut down on some relatives we’re not particularly close with. We are inviting +1’s for all single guests, though. Our list is 295, but a good portion of that are +1’s that are non-existent.
Post # 10
All of the above. Third cousins, your rando flame of the week and crazy 3 yr olds were not welcome.
Post # 11
Sort of all and sort of none.
We did A and B lists and our invitations said “Admit 2” (they were designed like theatre tickets) so that allowed us to have some control as people RSVP’d and kept the number of kids down.
Post # 12
I only allowed very close friends, parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles and cousins. We gave everyone a date, but did not allow kids.
It worked out perfect for us!
Post # 13
You might want to make it a multi-choice poll – we’ve done all of the above.
Post # 15
Thanks for the input bees! This is really helpful, I’ve been feeling like an evil and stingy person knowing that I couldn’t invite EVERYONE… but it’s my wedding, and I’m on a budget!