Where did you meet your husband? 40 and newly divorced

posted 2 weeks ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I was single for a long time and wondered if I’d ever meet anyone.  I didn’t have my first serious relationship until 26 (though I dated here and there, it never panned out).  Then when that relationship ended 2 years later, I wondered if I would be single forever.  I tried online dating but either my age range was a smaller pool than when I had been on those sites 2.5 years prior, or the dating pool was less than stellar at the time, or both!

 

I met my now husband at a sci fi convention, speed dating.  Never expected to find someone, just always wanted to try speed dating.  3 years later we were married and now we’ve been married over a year!  We were 37 and 33 when we got married.

 

Although neither of us had been married before, I hope my story helps encourage you.  I feel it’s cliche to say “it’ll happen when you stop looking” and all that, even though that’s what happened to me lol.  I think a good thing is to focus on enjoying life and find activities to do.  Date yourself!   When I was single I would go to the movie theater by myself!  I took ballroom dance classes.  Age is just a number.  This is not the end – think of it as a new beginning.  Much hugs to you, bee!

Post # 4
Member
3023 posts
Sugar bee

Amy Elizabeth :  online

its becoming a lot more popular. There are dating/meet up apps and then also websites more specificly geared towards long term/marriage. 

You really have to weed through them, but there are nice guys on there too 🙂 Keep your witts about you, talk to someone for a while before you agree to meet and make sure to do so in a public place.

Everyone feels like they will be alone for the rest of ther lives after a break up. It takes some time to see through the clouds – You will find someone! 🙂 

Post # 5
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee

I was devastated after my divorce and never saw myself getting married again….instead, I concentrated on building a life for myself that I could be happy with for as long as got to stay on this fabulous green earth.  I joined a gym and spent a lot more time developing a (sports related) hobby that I already had, and made some really great friends along the way, some singles, some couples.  I found some single-focused travel groups (mot dating related, just taylored to single travelers) and rediscovered a love for traveling.  

I have no children, and have a decent job and low cost of living requirements, so that made a lot of that easier, but my point is this:  I created a life that I could be happy with, on my own or otherwise.  I came to really love my independence and my life.  I didn’t think about dating because I was too busy enjoying what I did have.  And guess what…..about 7 years later, while on a trip enjoying that hobby, I met the guy I now call my amazing husband.  And I couldn’t possibly be happier.

Life has a funny way of working itself out when you just let go …. breathe ….and take it all in.

Wishing you the best!!

Post # 6
Member
2588 posts
Sugar bee

I was 34 and he was 49 when we met and it was through an online dating app.  

I was online for over 2 years and it was a lot of work, but when I felt discouraged, I would just take a break.  Then when I felt ready again, I got back on. 

Post # 7
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

You I was 34 and met my 35 year old, American husband on Tinder while I attended grad school in Germany (I am not German). I didn’t to go on a lot of dates – maybe 5-7 guys, within a 7 month period – before I met him. I always say I won the tinder lottery of life when I found him.

I wasn’t to desperate because I didn’t believe you could meet a decent person online and I was very selective to begin with. But I gave it the good old college try as the university I attended was in the sticks and I could cast a wider net with the online settings, including neighboring cities. 

Post # 8
Member
261 posts
Helper bee

We met at work.  I know online dating is popular, but it’s not something I’ve ever been interested in trying.  I’m so picky and particular I don’t think online dating would have ever worked out for me, plus I don’t like meeting strangers lol.  I prefer to get to know people slowly in a more organic way.  That being said, I know tons of people meet that way now.  You will definitely find someone else!

Post # 9
Member
3029 posts
Sugar bee

Amy Elizabeth :  Since you stated that you are newly divorced, perhaps you could give yourself some time before seeking another potential marriage partner. 

Post # 11
Member
333 posts
Helper bee

 

I have had better chances in the real world than the virtual. I never had issues meeting men through work, social events, through a friend, blah blah (and I am not model and actually introverted). Online dating ALWAYS opened up a portal to hell for me personally. Lol. I met some REALLY effed up men. They always acted normal online then were batshit crazy on the dates or just plain weird. One even almost killed me needless to say. So if you try it… be VERY careful and update a friend or family member of where you are going and when. 

I met my husband back in highschool. But didn’t date till around 14 years later when I was almost 28 and him almost 29. He reached out to me on Facebook messenger to see how I was doing. We just caught up at a local restaurant and things went from there. Pretty generic story.

Post # 12
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee

At a bar in college on campus corner. If we are being honest I thought I would meet my husband in med school but what can I say? He was in a band. 

Also, a lot of my friends have met their significant others online. 

Post # 13
Member
2109 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

My husband and I were both divorced and met at work.  They say not to shit where you eat, but hey it worked out for us!  Married with a baby and we still work together <3

Post # 14
Member
1228 posts
Bumble bee

claroquesi :  divorce can drag out for a really long time. Mine took a year and it was a the most simple divorce their was – no assets, no kids, nothing to contest. So she may have separated a long time ago. If she’s ready, she’s ready. 

Post # 15
Member
3029 posts
Sugar bee

littlebuzz :  Divorce isn’t messy just on the logistical/legal aspects. It is very messy emotionally, and it does take time to heal from the hurt and disappointment a divorce usually entails. 

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