Post # 1
This is kinda long, sorry.
I don’t know where to put the baby. I thought I had the kids sleeping arrangements thought out well. Apparently I’m wrong.
Can I get your help before I delve into what happened last night?
Here’s the space we have:
1750 sq ft.
3 bdrms (including the master all are pretty small)
family room off kitchen
My son has his own room, step-daughters (which we have every other weekend) have their room with a bunkbed that I just bought. I sold SD’s bed (son’s old bed) that had drawers underneath for clothes. Bought the bunkbed set it up, bought a bookcase and filled it up, but they don’t have a dresser. They have all their tops hanging in the closet (without any spare room to hang anything else), I have a closet organizer that I thought would work perfectly in their closet with some totes to fold their jeans, shorts, pj’s, socks, and undies.
That would solve having to buy a dresser, and save some room for the ikea cubby for their toys.
My son’s room is full. Twin bed, dresser, bookcase, ikea cubby for toys, plastic bin in his closet for toys, guitar, and a chair. His closet isn’t as full as theirs, but it’s getting there probably will be after school shopping.
Where do I put the baby’s stuff? The pack ‘n play will go in our room for the first couple months. What about the crib, and the armoire that I bought to hang and fold all of her clothes and store diapers/wipes?
Where would you put that? What room should she share?
I’d like to get opinions before I get into what I think will work and what my husband thinks is fair…
Post # 3
Do you have a basement that you can finish for a room for whichever of your children are the oldest?
Post # 4
Hmmm, is the family room only connected to the kitchen? Or is the family room in between the kitchen and the living room (for example)? If the family room is only connected to the kitchen, I would convert that to a fourth bedroom so the baby can have it’s own room. Depending on the set-up, you may just have to build a wall and install a door, which isn’t that expensive considering you’d get another whole bedroom out of it.
Post # 5
You can make it work.
At one point my parents, my sister a 2 yr old brother, my newborn brother and I were living in a 2 bedroom house.
- My parents had the master
- My brothers (the 2yr old and newborn had the bedroom)
- My sister and I slept on a pull out couch in the family room off the kitchen.
We moved into a 3 bedroom house a few years later (we kept this living arrangement till I was in highschool, when my parents converted a laundry room into my own bedroom)
- My parents had the master
- My sister and I shared a room
- My brothers shared a room.
Post # 6
I don’t have kids yet, so I don’t know how helpful this is, but here goes…
My first thought is to put the baby in the girls’ room because they aren’t there all the time like your son is. And have the baby sleep in your room in the pack-n-play when the girls are there?
If the family room is not used that much and not in a high traffic area then I could also see putting the baby there.
Last choice would probably be putting the crib right in your room until she outgrows the crib.
I don’t know, I wouldn’t want to put the baby in your son’s room for sure though.. He wouldn’t be able to sleep and it seems like a total hassle. Also, why squeeze the two of them together all the time when the other room is generally empty?
Post # 7
If the master is bigger than the room the girls share, what about putting all three (the stepdaughters and the new baby) in the master. If there are only there every other weekend, then it probably wouldn’t be a big deal. And then you could take their room – or, move the son into their room and you take his room if it is the 2nd biggest.
Or, do you use the living room or family room more? Perhaps convert the whichever you use the least into another bedroom. Temporary walls aren’t very expensive.
If you have a basement, I also like the idea of converting it into another bedroom and moving which ever child is the oldest to the basement.
Post # 8
@Mrs. Spring: I was thinking the same thing about the family room, turn that into someone’s bedroom. That’s probably the best solution
Post # 8
We have a walkin closet that we are putting the baby into until our lease is up and we can move out of our 2 bedroom house. I have a 13 year old and don’t think it is fair for him to have to share. We were currently keeping our dressers in there and will be moving them into the bedroom instead.
Post # 9
I think the solution might also have to depend on how old the other kids are, and what your relationships with them are like.
Sharing a room with a newborn is hard. And while a toddler might not mind sharing a room, I wouldn’t trust a toddler to not keep the baby up (my best friend just had to move her girls into separate rooms since the toddler kept waking the baby up). And I think it’s hard to ask older children to suddenly deal with sharing their space, waking up at night, not having privacy, etc. (re: privacy, if the baby is in there, that means you’ll have to go in there at all hours too).
And relationship-wise, while I think it makes a lot of sense in some ways to use the girls’ room since it is not in use most of the time, I’d worry that it may make them feel like they aren’t a part of the family as much. I’d imagine your husband probably wants them to feel like your home is still their home too, which might be harder if they feel like they don’t have a room. Again, I think age and relationship makes a difference- if they are really young and/or excited about the baby, then they may not mind sharing, but if they’re older and not so psyched about the idea, I’d try to avoid it.
Post # 10
What about moving your son to the master and he share with the baby? Then you and hubby can use his room. Just store your out of season clothes, etc somewhere else in the house so the room doesn’t feel too crowded.
Post # 11
If it’s possible to close off the family room, can that be the weekend room for the girls? Then the two children that live in the house all the time can have their own rooms (and no one has to share with a baby)? It’s not ideal, but if the girls are there only on weekends (so 2 nights a week), I think it might be the best solution for everyone until a better space arrangement can be found.
Post # 12
I attached a picture of the family room, it’s right off the kitchen and very open, and we’re renting (this is before we moved in).
My son is 9 years old, SD1 is 6 and SD2 is 3. I don’t think it would be fair to have my 9 year old share with a newborn.
My idea was to put the baby in with the girls, because yes they’re only there every other weekend. When they aren’t here that room is closed, nobody goes in it, wasted space. The baby will be in our room for the first couple months in a pack ‘n play, I can’t have her in the room in her crib much longer than that. I made that mistake with my son and he slept in my room until he was 4!!! Not going down that road again.
So my husband told me that I’m heartless towards the girls (because their clothes were folded and stacked in the closet because I haven’t had time to install the closet organizer, we moved in on July 1st.) and trying to squeeze them out of our family by having them share with the baby. To me it’s unfair for me and unfair to the baby. They have their own room at their Mom’s house, and they have a bed to sleep on and toys to play with at ours. Oh and he says that it’s not fair of me to have bought an armoire for the baby’s clothes, but no dresser for the girls and the closet organizer isn’t fair to them. Um??? I can’t tell you how many home decorating blogs I have visited in the past month that have converted their closets into exclusive clothes storage rather than a dresser. UGH!!! He’s driven me insane and stressed me out thoroughly.
Thanks for listening to me ramble 🙂
Post # 13
how about having a family meeting and see what solutions the kids come up with? The girls might actually like the idea of sharingf if its their own, and if its their idea, your husband can’t say much about the baby taking priority. A family is a team after all!
Post # 14
I like smileyd’s suggestion of asking the kids what they think- maybe if the girls seem to not mind having the baby in their room when they’re not there, you could let them help you with any redecorating or reorganizing you’d like to do in that room so they don’t feel like they’re just losing their room to the baby. Also, babies don’t exactly care about where you keep their clothes or what the room looks like, so maybe try to minimize the baby impact on any of the kids’ rooms?
Your Darling Husband doesn’t get to see his kids very often- I understand his wanting to make sure that they feel welcome, and like they have a space and a role in the family and the family home (and not like they are guests who get to displace a permanent family member every couple of weeks).
Post # 15
Sounds like your husband is the one being unfair. The only logical solution I would see in this situation is to put the baby in the girls room while they aren’t there.