Where do I start?

posted 12 months ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
2021 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t see the problem. You’re already engaged. He’s going to officially propose in a few weeks so everyone will know. You both agree on this.

He can get your parents blessing if it’s important to you so I don’t see the issue.

It doesn’t matter what other people think. You two decided that you’re getting married and he’s going to propose in a romantic way on the beach so you’ll even have a cute proposal story.

Am I missing something here?  

Post # 3
Member
2283 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

I think its fairly common for people to decide to get married via a conversation rather than a proposal. But if the traditional fixings are important to you, you can do those too. 

Post # 4
Member
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
oceanwaves :  but this is so untraditional I don’t even know where to start lol!

No–in truth these Pinterest and social media-worthy proposals are the new-fangled notions. Do you know why you’ve never seen photos of your parents’ proposal? Because nobody was taking pictures! Traditionally people decided to get married or there was a very simple proposal and they were then engaged. Congratulations!!! 

Post # 5
Member
398 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
oceanwaves :  let all of the pressure of what other people will think fade from your mind. The only thing that matters is your relationship with your Fiance. Contrary to media and social media, I truly believe that a lot more couples are engaged before they are “officially engaged” don’t let your brain create drama where there doesn’t need to be any. 

Post # 6
Member
5047 posts
Bee Keeper

Consider this your fair warning…no one will actually give a crap.  There is nothing for them to “settle” for.  I only know the circumstances of one of my friends or family member’s engagement and that’s because I bumped into them literally five minutes after it happened and they told me completely unprompted.  You may get a few who will ask, some out of politeness or because it’s the “thing” to ask, but they don’t actually care in some big meaningful way because it in no way affects their lives.  People as a whole pretty much only really care about things that directly impact them and the rest is them just taking a passing interest because they know it is important to you and they care about you.  They will move on like 30 seconds later and never think about it again.

So this is all a non-issue and pretty much do whatever the hell you and your SO want to do.  No one else has to factor in on this decision.  Don’t live your life worried about how it appears to other people who are going to move on from it mere minutes after you tell them.

Post # 7
Member
8258 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Girl, just put your ring on and change your FB status (or whatever people do these days). If youve decided youre engaged then congrats! Youre engaged. No need to wait for your faux-posal.

Post # 8
Member
7 posts
Newbee

We’d felt engaged for many months despite not officially wearing the ring yet. We asked for my parents blessing together and somehow he totally caught me off guard when he proposed as it was a totally run of the mill date night. No sense in pretending getting engaged was a surprise, when it’s a decision we talked over and made together. Wouldn’t have had it any other way!

Post # 9
Member
9101 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
oceanwaves :  “I don’t know if people will settle for how it happened as “oh I found out and we just decided we are engaged to be married” as an answer.” — What do you mean? How could anyone not “settle for” a truth that has nothing to do with them? Plus, nobody really cares how you ended up engaged. Your loved ones will be happy for you, that you ARE engaged, but honestly, they could not care less about how it happened. And if they DID, there’s nothing they could do about it anyway. (But they won’t.) If I were you, I would just agree that we’re engaged, and I’d start wearing the ring. If your parents’ blessing is important, his idea to wait a few weeks is fine too. Either way, there is no dilemma here and nothing to worry about. Have fun!!

Post # 10
Member
4434 posts
Honey bee

You two decided to get married. That’s the best way to get engaged. Congratulations!

Post # 11
Member
8989 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Honestly, don’t get caught up on what is traditional. My husband and I agreed we wanted to get married, we picked the ring together, I knew he was going to propose, it was still lovely and special when he did. 

Post # 12
Member
279 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
beethree :  Well said. I’m sure many “proposals” of the generations before us went something like – Her: “I’m pregnant”, him: “I guess we ought to get married then”.

Post # 13
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Turkey

As much as binding your lives is a romantic notion, engagement is like a verbal contract you do to eventually get married. That’s true, why would you wait another year for a surprise proposal if you’re sure of your feelings already.

If I were you I wouldn’t even wait for wearing the ring. 

Post # 14
Member
779 posts
Busy bee

Who cares what people will say. Just wear your ring, stop with the fake proposal at the beach. Tell your parents you are engaged. What does it even mean he has not officially asked?

Post # 15
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

View original reply
oceanwaves :  Just tell everyone of your mutual decision to marry, and celebrate! You need to let go of your attachment to what you THINK your engagement should be, because honestly all of these Instagram and “traditional” proposals are so staged and you don’t need to compare yourself to any of that. When my husband proposed, I knew it was coming for like a year and we had already basically gotten engaged when we decided on the ring I wanted and timeline. By the time he actually
“popped the question”, I was like thank God now we can finally plan our wedding. LOL! 

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