Post # 1
I am getting married in Knoxville, TN, but I grew up in New Jersey and went to college in New Mexico. My fiance grew up in Florida and Illinois. We have very few friends in Tennessee. In other words, 95% of our wedding guests will be traveling.
Here’s the deal. I am going to invite my mom’s cousin, his wife and his three kids (my second cousins). We haven’t been in touch for a while, but we all grew up together and I would love to have them at my wedding if they are able to make it.
My two female cousins are around the same age as me – 25 and 27, and will be 27 and 29 by the time I get married. If they aren’t married by then, should I invite them with a Plus-One? They also have a younger brother who will be about 20 by the time I get married – since he will be college-age, there’s a chance he could have a serious girlfriend, so should I invite HIM with a Plus-One as well?! This is turning a 5-person family into a possible 8-person entourage!!
Also, the girls no longer live at home, and I don’t think their brother does either, so if they traveled as a family it may take some coordination. This is all assuming they would even travel all the way down here, but whatever.
By the way, my feelings on Plus-Ones is that I would rather someone be able to travel to my wedding with a close friend or significant other, than have to come all the way to Tennessee ALONE because they can’t bring a guest to a wedding. I am all about making my guests happy. Hell, if they are willing to drive a minimum of 700 miles to come see me, they deserve my appreciation!
Post # 3
I gave everyone a +1. It was easier for me and then I knew that everyone had someone there that they felt comfy with! 🙂
Are you having issues with budget or space? If not, I’d probably just give them +1’s and call it a day. If you are, then with the family situation you mentioned, I’d probably not give +1’s to the cousins unless they are married or engaged.
Post # 4
@dodgercpkl: We are still in the preliminary planning stages so we haven’t drawn any firm lines on budget, and we haven’t booked a venue yet so we aren’t squished for space. Plus, since it’s a “destination” wedding, we are thinking a lot of people won’t be able to come.
I agree with you in a way – if I was invited to one of these cousins’ weddings in some other state, I’d want to go, but to go alone would be lame. I just don’t want the plus-ones to get too out of hand if Bees think it may be excessive.
Post # 5
I left the plus one option open to everyone. I also thought that if they were willing to travel to our wedding that it would be nice for them to be able to bring someone along, so they wouldn’t have to travel alone.
Post # 6
I have actually traveled alone to a couple of weddings (right before I was engaged), and it wasn’t a big deal to me. As long as I had friends at the wedding, it wasn’t a problem.
We’re generally drawing the line at not giving plus ones unless the couple is engaged/married aside from the wedding party (who will all get a plus 1) and in cases where a guest may not know anyone else. Otherwise, if there are people we see socially as a couple, we will invite both. We’re trying to look at it on a case-by-case basis, but we are on a budget so if we have to trim our guest lists, plus ones will be our first place to cut.
Post # 7
We are doing +1’s for anyone who is actually dating someone who is local, and +1’s for all out of town guests. Basically, almost everyone is getting a +1, who would be likely to want to bring them.
We aren’t too keen on having people bring a random friend, or family member, but if they are out of town then so be it.
Post # 8
We’re not inviting anyone that we didn’t know existed before the wedding.. so nobody is getting “and guest” but if we know their partners name, they’re invited, make sense? We’re trying for a small a wedding as possibly but my family is huge so we’re inviting 140 anyways.. no room for randos at my wedding, plus why would i want them there?
Post # 9
I would never give extended family members a +1 unless they were dating someone. It just seems to me that they can hang out with their other family members.
We are only giving +1 to a few family members who are dating, and a few friends who aren’t dating… but won’t know that many people at the wedding. All my college friends are going solo because they all know each other and can hang out with each other. His friends all know each other as well… so we didn’t feel the need to do a +1 for them. We are just trying to trim down the guest list as much as possible!
Post # 10
We’re doing +1 for people who are in a relationship, or for those who don’t know anyone else. Though it would be nice to provide everyone a +1 option, our list is already bigger than our venue allows. So, this seems like the best compromise.
Post # 11
I would ask their parents if they are in a relationship and then just plus one the ones who were. (If you guys are close you could just ask them themselves!!)
Post # 12
I’m only adding a +1 on the invite if they have a live-in or are married or engaged.
BUT if they ask later, and say I can only make it if I come with so-and-so, I will discuss it then.
Post # 13
I agree with ellabee. I am currently dealing with the “plus one” situation. Because of our age (23 & 24), a substantial number of our friends are single. Pretty soon we noticed that every person was equaling two, or families of 4 were more like 6. This means that a large number of our guests are going to be people that we don’t even know. These people will be at our rehearsal dinner (wedding party plus ones), in our pictures, and taking the seats that closer friends could be filling. So we decided to make a blanket rule: guests ONLY receive a plus one if they have a serious significant other/spouse, or won’t know anyone else at the wedding. This helped out a lot and actually most of our friends were completely fine with it!
I would definitely apply this to the cousins because they will have their parents and siblings at the wedding, so why do they need a random date anyway?
Post # 14
I’m giving everyone a +1. I know a lot of people won’t use it, and that there are some families who won’t be able to make it… I just remember being invited to a family member’s wedding a few years ago and me and my sister not getting a +1 even though we were both dating people we had been living with for years, and it seemed weird.