(Closed) Where do you start when planning a wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
374 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

First you need to set your budget.  That will require a talk with your fiance (although you might want to wait until he proposes) and or both sets of parents.  Once you have a budget go to theknot.com  they have a budgeting tool that will show you approximately how much to spend on each of the things you have listed.  Plus they have a checklist that will keep you on track.

Hope that helps. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would set a budget and come up with a decent estimate of your gust list.  From there you can determine what venues work for the size of your wedding and what you want to spend.  happy planning!

Post # 5
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I agree with PP. Budget and guest list first, then the order you said. Come up with a few potential dates, then go see venues so you can be a little more flexible.

Post # 6
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

one thing you might need to add is the person who will marry you – a priest?  officiant?

Post # 7
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with the other ladies – figure out your budget and guest list first (be generous on your numbers because most of us can tell you that our guest list expanded as the day got closer.), then work on the rest.  

Definitely check out peoples recaps and DIY project – they will help give you ideas, but figure out what things are *must-have* items and don’t let your eyes get bigger then your budget.  

Post # 8
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I was just like you!!!  I see everyone has given great advice already so I’ll just share what I did:

1) I started with the venue and worked the guest list and budget around that.  It just depends on which is more important to you.  I picked a pretty large venue so it was fine.

2) I just used what I like for colors, flowers, etc.  I didn’t try to look at pictures because there are SO MANY possibilities!! I just said I want sunflowers with navy dresses and went from there.  Then, at least, you can start looking at pictures of only the type flower you want and that narrows it down a little.

3) I’m doing things as simple as possible: picked a venue that sets up/takes down/caters/provides alcohol.  It has a hotel so guests can stay there.  I’m having the ceremony and reception in the same place so I don’t have to deal with transportation.  No sit down dinner so I don’t have to do seating charts.  I know some of these things are important to other people but I wanted my day as stress-free as possible.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 9
2450 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

figure out your budget

figure out your priorities… what parts of your wedding are most important? the theme, the decor, the dress, the cake, the photography, the venue, guest count?

figure out your theme if there is one


after you have all these…. ideas… figured out, then you can start looking at physical things like your venue and dress and stuff.

Post # 10
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I pretty much agree, but I’ll add a couple twists…

1. Sit down with Fiance and figure out exactly what you would want your wedding to be. Don’t just start planning a regular wedding without both of you deciding that’s exactly what you want, because you can make it anything! Dream up possibilities outside the norm, see if any excite you a lot.

2. Budget! Decide what you can and want to pay for it, total. The guidelines given online are helpful but don’t feel like can’t adjust for your priorities. For example, I live in Southern California where it’s more expensive than a lot of places, and my catering cost is well over what ANY budget has recommemded. But I have made up for it elsewhere. I also like an idea I have seen on a previous post where you decide the 3 most important things to you (venue, food and dress, for example) and the 3 least (invitations, flowers, and alcohol) – give yourself some slack on the important ones, and cheap out on the ones you don’t care about.

3. I agree with PPs who said when you set up your guest list is a matter of priorities. If you REALLY want to get married at the vineyard with a max capacity of 100 – shoot for 100. If you HAVE to have your second cousins there to make your day, do the guest list first and then look for a venue that will accommodate. Also, don’t get your heat set on a specific date until you confirm the most important people can come and that your venue is available (again, unless it’s super important that you get married on Smarch 13th, or something).

Congratulations and good luck!

P.S. my last piece of advice – once you choose something (a theme, a dress, a program style), STOP LOOKING for ideas on them. All you will do is second guess yourself, and for me, that’s where all the stress has come from. I finally stopped doing that about a month ago.

Post # 11
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

We figured out our colors and theme of our wedding first. Then we decided on a budget for our day, and vowed to stick to that budget!!  Then we worked on a tenitive guest list, so we would look at venues that went with that. Then we started to book our vendors. We booked our church/pastor and then our reception venue then we went crazy with the other things such as photography, DJ, ceremony music people etc. 

Post # 12
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree with pp, that budget and guest list should be first. That way you know the size of venue you will need. Also, I’m not sure where you are from, but in my area DJs and photographers book up fast, so if you want to get good ones, I would book them soon after you settle on your venue and date.

Post # 13
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

budget budget budget.  you will be astounded how things skyrocket and get out of control…  that will inform everything – from the venue to the style etc etc.  once you have a range for that and book your venue, things start falling into place. 

Post # 14
1006 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Start first with your budget and a rough draft guest list – this will be essential to figuring out the rest. You’ll need to know how many people and what you can afford before the next decisions are made.

Once you’ve got an idea of how many people and your budget – start with venues. You should have some idea of when you want the wedding to be but pick several dates because once you find the other things that may be important to you (venue, photographer etc..) you’ll need to work around when those things are available.

The rest can come in order of importance to you. It can be as complicated or as simple as you want it to be. Just break it down into chunks of tasks. I’ve been using the website weddingwire.com which has a great checklist to help with what you need to do and when.

Congratulations and best of luck planning!

Post # 15
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

I think you really should be on the same page as far as what kind and size wedding you want. My daughter wanted small and intimate, but her Fiance wanted a huge bash. They definitely had different visions of what they wanted, so lots of compromising was in order FIRST. She also wanted her feet in the sand and he wanted a big ballroom, so you can see how far apart they really were. You need to spend some time discussing it before deciding on anything else.

You might also each want to make up a rough guest list, and see how close (or far apart) you are. They can get out of hand pretty quickly, so its best to know what you’re dealing with as soon as possible. Of course that guest list may have to be compromised once you figure out how you’ll be paying for it all, so many revisions may need to be made. He may think he can invite everyone he’s ever known, and you may only want closer family and friends. Lots of variables will arise once you begin planning!

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