Post # 1
I’ve been engaged for almost a week and I’ve been bombarded with tons of questions, advice, comments, etc. Where do I even start?? When are we supposed to set a date? I thought it wasn’t something you did until a year prior to the date? Everyone’s acting like we should’ve already set a date.
Everyone wants to go dress shopping with me but I think it’s wayyy too early. I fluctuate alot and have recently lost 10 pounds (hoping to continue and possibly lose around 50+) so I definitely don’t want to buy a dress now!
Bees??? Where did you start? Does anyone have a good timeline guide?
Post # 3
Yes, you’ll get the “have you picked a date???” question a lot! I just tried to remember that it was simply our loved ones being excited and trying to take part! If you’re aiming for anything within 18 months out, I think you can easily start planning now. One year to a year and a half I think it the average time to start figuring the big picture parts out. If I were you, I’d start with venue hunting. Without a venue, you can’t do much else! The venue will (or at least can) dictate your style, possible color choices, and date options.
But if you’re not ready to start seriously planning, then just come up with a good “line” to say to people like, “oh, we’re not planning details just yet. Enjoying being engaged for a few months before we dive into setting a date!” Because, honestly, once you pick a date, the questions never stop coming (colors? bridesmaids? what are the groomsmen wearing? etc etc). It’s not a bad thing, but don’t expect your loved ones to “let up” on the loving curious questions if you pick a date — it only gets more serious about decision making from here on out!
And finally, if *you* are interested in dress shopping at all, then go for it. There’s nothing at all wrong with just going to check dresses out. I wish that I had gone to a few more shops earlier on, just to get a feel for the experience and for what I might like. Then, once you’re ready to buy, go back and seriously shop! But if you don’t want to go shopping yet, just be honest with people, but let them know that you won’t forget them when shopping time does come (well, assuming you want them to join you!).
Post # 4
If you have a general idea when you want to get married, you can just say, oh, we’re thinking Fall 2011 (or whatever), but we haven’t booked anything yet.” If that’s what you’re shooting for, it’s not “too early” to start seeing venues, but you could probably afford to hold off 2-3 months and just enjoy your engagement if that’s what you feel like doing. Some couples set the date right away and others don’t, it’s really up to you. Personally, we were engaged in Spring ’09 and knew we wanted a Fall ’10 wedding, but we didn’t formally “set the date”/book the venue until we were engaged about 6 months.
If you feel like trying on dresses, no harm in that, but you might want to hold off ordering one until 9-12 months out from your wedding date. Styles change, and if you hold off a while from actually ordering, you reduce the chances you’ll change your mind and end up an unintentional 2 dress bride.
Post # 5
Congratulations! Do what feels right for you and your fiance. My Fiance and I didn’t even think about wedding plans for about six months right after we got engaged. We were just really enjoying being engaged and excited about taking that step together, so we took a lot of time to revel in those happy feelings. When folks asked us about a date or colors or the like, we just told them that we were still on cloud nine and hadn’t started planning but would let them know [the date,colors,etc] when we got there.
Post # 6
I agree with @BostonBrideToBe about the venue first… alot of venues can book a year out easy. I know that was the first thing we did and it did kinda dictate our date (or our original one).
Then when you’re ready to start planning I would come up with a theme & colors…. When I started I started with just colors and then a few months into it (since I hadn’t really thought about it before) out theme hit me! Needless to say the “details” I had already picked didn’t go at all so I pretty much had to start over! yay.. lol
Otherwise just enjoy being engaged and just accept the rolls of questions… b/c really they just never stop! *oh-no* lol
And for that dress girl try on as you may…. it’s more fun than you’d think! hehe.. espicially if like now you’re just doing it to get that “feel like a princess” feeling rather than stressing about having to “find the dress!!.. find the dress!!”
And as for all those that wanna take you and everything else…. that kinda dies down too… It’ starts b/c everything is so exciting and their so happy for you but then since weddings are one of those things that just takes time and planning there will be periods that maybe like me you go.. “oh i haven’t even looked at wedding stuff in 2 weeks.. umm maybe I should do that! lol”
Anyhoo… enjoy it and don’t let it stress you. And constantly in your planning find SOMETHING just for you to keep you energized and happy in the planning b/c it can easily become… ugh.
Congrats on your Engagement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Post # 7
🙂 Thanks everybody! That really helps alot! It’s so overwhelming to think about planning this whole thing. I’ve always wanted to elope but Fiance wants a huge church wedding, so we’re compromising on a medium-sized church wedding. Fiance doesn’t want to set a date right away, there are too many things to consider… We’re getting married 14 hours away so we’ll have to wait until our next vacation to go up and talk to the church, look at venues, etc. It’s helpful to know that the venue really dictates a lot of important decisions!
Thanks again bees!