Where does MIL sleep ? Probably overthinking

posted 2 years ago in Travel
Post # 2
32 posts

I think given the circumstances it would be totally acceptable to have her on the pull out. That’s much more comfortable for one person than two, the two of you are paying for the whole thing, it is your vacation, and you’re doing her a favor. Just make sure she’s aware that is the situation BEFORE you go. Say something like “oh hey I called the hotel just to make sure, and they assured me there is a pull out in the living room that you can sleep on, so we are good to go!”

Post # 3
4493 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If it weren’t for the nights without your daughter, I would say give her the pull-out in the LR, but in this case, I would tell her that you booked a 1 bedroom and there simply isn’t room for another person. If she pushes, I would ask Darling Husband to discreetly imply that you two need some time as a couple.

Also, if she takes the LR pull-out, where will your daughter sleep when she’s with you?

Post # 4
9607 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

lcb2013 :  no if you’re paying for the room (which I assume is rather expensive) you should stay in the bedroom. I just think it’s kind of crazy that due to your generosity you may end up sleeping on the couch of a hotel room you’re paying a ton for.. you’ve already given up the couple nights of alone time you were promised to be generous..  I dunno, maybe I’m mean… what does your Darling Husband think? 


Post # 6
47197 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t give up the bedroom. I don’t think couples should do that at home either.
I would have clarified the situation when she asked the question ” Do you want to pay the difference so we can upgrade to a 2 bedroom villa or are you ok with sleeping on the pullout?”

Post # 8
11755 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

lcb2013 :  so, it’s great that you guys want to help her out. But there’s your LO to think about, and by that I mean you guys don’t get any alone time or time with family normally.

You need both but esp alone/couple time to make sure your bond stays tight. I see that as the best thing you can do for LO. So don’t let his mom’s needs interfere in your couple time and time with all family. 

Hopefully you can help her AND protect your couple time. But your time alone is precious esp with a baby, don’t put it beneath other needs. 


Post # 9
9157 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

what about if she got a cheaper hotel offsite and then just met you guys in the mornings?

Post # 10
4469 posts
Honey bee

I wouldn’t feel awkward about giving her the pull out.  Thems the breaks when you crash someone else’s reservation.  I’m reasonably sure she doesn’t expect the bedroom.

As for other concerns, I have a friend who has stayed in the 1 bedroom villas with three other adults (family) and they never felt crowded.  You’ll be fine.  Let her know you have a couple of date nights planned and if she can find somewhere else to be those nights.

I think you’re making this bigger than it has to be.

Post # 11
2081 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Unless there are extenuating circumstances, no you shouldn’t give her your bedroom. That’s an unwarranted imposition on you. I might have missed this in your original post, but can you afford to pay for her room? If possible, I would just absorb the costs of my MIL’s own private room. More comfortable for everyone.

Post # 12
2404 posts
Buzzing bee

Even though you’ve already paid for a 1 bedroom suite, will there be an additional charge for adding a 3rd adult?  You should check into that and see how much, and you may also need to let the hotel know so that the sleeper sofa is made up with fresh linens.  I’ve seen a lot of hotels that only put sheets on the sleeper sofa is they know it’s going to be used.


Post # 13
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I’d just give her the pull out in the living room but make sure that she knows, in the event that she’d rather offer money for a second bedroom. She’s going through a divorce and it’s nice of you guys to let her stay with you. I’m sure that she appreciates it and understands that you guys need the bedroom for multiple reasons, including your daughter sleeping with you in same room.

Post # 14
2089 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Couples should have a bedroom so that they can have privacy. The single person can have the living room pull-out. That is perfectly reasonable. 

Post # 15
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I think it’s super nice and considerate of you to think of giving up your own bed for your Mother-In-Law, but I don’t think it’s necessary. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind the pull-out bed in the living room.

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