Post # 1
Hey Ya’ll. I’m sure I’m over thinking it. Hubby and I are taking our daughter to Disney for her 5th bday and we ended up turning it into a family trip extending the invite to my Mother-In-Law and her husbdand, my parents and siblings and my SIL. This has been in the works for months now and we all agreed on staying at a Disney resort in the villas and we each get our own room. Mother-In-Law is getting a divorce now so no her soon to be ex husband of course will no longer be attending.
She reached out to us to ask if instead of her keeping her reservation can she cancel and just stay in our room. This is no problem at all but we just got a 1 bedroom villa. The 2bedroom is so much more money, I haven’t asked her to pay anything and I just said sure you can stay with us. We already paid our room off so I wouldn’t ask her for any money just to stay with us…but me and the very new Hubby is excited about the bedroom and the huge tub that’s in the bedroom hahahaha. But I just would feel awkward having her sleep in the living room on the pull out sofa… However the trip is yes for our daughter, but my parents also told us they will keep our daughter for two nights for us to have alone time because we don’t go away just us at all and we don’t live by family so we don’t do dates. so love my Mother-In-Law but this just somewhat changes things. I just don’t want to be rude. Do I just give her the room and we take the pull out in the living room? At our previous house when she used to visit and we didn’t have the extra rooms we let her stay in our bedroom and we took the living room..do I treat the trip like this?
I know this is such a silly post lol but just been on my mind. Want her to stay with us love her to death! just don’t want to be rude or selfish putting her in the living room. Also the difference in price to get a 2bedroom villa is almost what she was going to pay for her previous room, If she mentions she will give money maybe i can just take that and upgrade to a 2bedroom and resolve this all ? lol again silly post I know but it just hit me. Want everyone comfortable and to have fun!
Post # 2
I think given the circumstances it would be totally acceptable to have her on the pull out. That’s much more comfortable for one person than two, the two of you are paying for the whole thing, it is your vacation, and you’re doing her a favor. Just make sure she’s aware that is the situation BEFORE you go. Say something like “oh hey I called the hotel just to make sure, and they assured me there is a pull out in the living room that you can sleep on, so we are good to go!”
Post # 3
If it weren’t for the nights without your daughter, I would say give her the pull-out in the LR, but in this case, I would tell her that you booked a 1 bedroom and there simply isn’t room for another person. If she pushes, I would ask Darling Husband to discreetly imply that you two need some time as a couple.
Also, if she takes the LR pull-out, where will your daughter sleep when she’s with you?
Post # 4
lcb2013 : no if you’re paying for the room (which I assume is rather expensive) you should stay in the bedroom. I just think it’s kind of crazy that due to your generosity you may end up sleeping on the couch of a hotel room you’re paying a ton for.. you’ve already given up the couple nights of alone time you were promised to be generous.. I dunno, maybe I’m mean… what does your Darling Husband think?
Post # 5
LadyBear : Hubby mentioned to her the two nights my parents offered to keep our daughter and she said she will go out with them to give us alone time as well, she was already included in those plans she said my mother reached out to see if she was interested in going with them. Our daughter was going to be in the room with us as well, there’s a smaller pull out inside of the bedroom as well.
which is why the 2 nights alone sounds so good so we can do adult things lol! because she would be in the room with us all the other nights.
amanda1988 : haha no not mean. and Hubby didn’t think twice about it. I asked him today and he just said I didn’t think about that, but said we will be in the bedroom and that Mother-In-Law will understand, if not he will tell her how much it is for us to get a two bedroom. So leaving it in his hands now.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t give up the bedroom. I don’t think couples should do that at home either.
I would have clarified the situation when she asked the question ” Do you want to pay the difference so we can upgrade to a 2 bedroom villa or are you ok with sleeping on the pullout?”
Post # 7
julies1949 : I’m hoping she would bring up possibly still paying. She didn’t say anything about the 2bedroom it was just a thought I had while writting this post. If she still wants to pay something I could possibly bring up putting her money towards an upgrade of a 2bedroom room and just say this way we are all still together, but now she will have her own room and won’t have to stay on the pullout.
I think now that she will be divorced she doesn’t want to be in a room by herself, as well as spend so much money on a room for just herself.
Post # 8
lcb2013 : so, it’s great that you guys want to help her out. But there’s your LO to think about, and by that I mean you guys don’t get any alone time or time with family normally.
You need both but esp alone/couple time to make sure your bond stays tight. I see that as the best thing you can do for LO. So don’t let his mom’s needs interfere in your couple time and time with all family.
Hopefully you can help her AND protect your couple time. But your time alone is precious esp with a baby, don’t put it beneath other needs.
Post # 9
what about if she got a cheaper hotel offsite and then just met you guys in the mornings?
Post # 10
I wouldn’t feel awkward about giving her the pull out. Thems the breaks when you crash someone else’s reservation. I’m reasonably sure she doesn’t expect the bedroom.
As for other concerns, I have a friend who has stayed in the 1 bedroom villas with three other adults (family) and they never felt crowded. You’ll be fine. Let her know you have a couple of date nights planned and if she can find somewhere else to be those nights.
I think you’re making this bigger than it has to be.
Post # 11
Unless there are extenuating circumstances, no you shouldn’t give her your bedroom. That’s an unwarranted imposition on you. I might have missed this in your original post, but can you afford to pay for her room? If possible, I would just absorb the costs of my MIL’s own private room. More comfortable for everyone.
Post # 12
Even though you’ve already paid for a 1 bedroom suite, will there be an additional charge for adding a 3rd adult? You should check into that and see how much, and you may also need to let the hotel know so that the sleeper sofa is made up with fresh linens. I’ve seen a lot of hotels that only put sheets on the sleeper sofa is they know it’s going to be used.
Post # 13
I’d just give her the pull out in the living room but make sure that she knows, in the event that she’d rather offer money for a second bedroom. She’s going through a divorce and it’s nice of you guys to let her stay with you. I’m sure that she appreciates it and understands that you guys need the bedroom for multiple reasons, including your daughter sleeping with you in same room.
Post # 14
Couples should have a bedroom so that they can have privacy. The single person can have the living room pull-out. That is perfectly reasonable.
Post # 15
I think it’s super nice and considerate of you to think of giving up your own bed for your Mother-In-Law, but I don’t think it’s necessary. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind the pull-out bed in the living room.